I don't think most hubbers are aggressive or intentionally rude, but I can see why it can be viewed like that without careful wording. It's very hard to get the tone correct with text. It's a fine line but that's why I never take offence as I'm not sure if it was meant to be offensive.
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17-10-2013 08:52 #51
17-10-2013 09:24 #52
I don't sugar coat but I try to say what I mean without being offensive.
We all have opinions and not everyone will agree with all.
I also be constructive in anything I say where applicable.
Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)
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17-10-2013 10:41 #53
I just read all the responses and there are a lot of people who don't comment if they think it would hurt the OP or other posters. Is that really sugar coating by default?
By that I mean if the OP is asking for opinions (or really just validation) and your opinion is not really what the OP is looking for and there are already staunch supporters for the cause on the case would you not give your opinion?
I am pretty sure I have been guilty of it myself. Tbh sometimes I just can't be bothered having my opinion scrutinised, torn apart and analysed to the point that I forget what the topic was about.
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17-10-2013 10:48 #54-
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Yes..I most certainly do! If you don't come across here as the 'perfect' person then you are quoted and stomped all over. I walk on eggshells when I post. While I am very opinionated, I am also very thinned skinned and cannot handle being eaten alive and basically embarrassed in public! I'm only human and one with mental health problems...I'm far from perfect and I'm also not well educated, however I have lived a rough life and I can only do the best I can.
My sig is there to remind me...but I still have to be careful and learn to word things better if I wish to really speak my own mind without sugar coating it otherwise I come across as offensive. I'm trying to change
Last edited by ozeymumof5; 17-10-2013 at 11:23.
17-10-2013 11:04 #55Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
No, I think there is a difference between sugar coating something and getting your point across diplomatically. I believe a person can be too blunt and that rarely works out well unless your aim is to offend your target audience.
17-10-2013 11:13 #56
I try to be tactful, I don't know if I sugar coat it, but I try to be nice even if I don't agree.
Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app
17-10-2013 11:15 #57
@jaq you're back! I tend not to sugar coat. In fact I'm pretty darn right opinionated at times, but I am mindful that my opinion is not the only opinion. So I try to be tactful and fair.And as for grudges or offending people, well I don't have the memory to hold grudges or even to remember who said what most of the time!!!
Last edited by Izy; 17-10-2013 at 11:18.
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17-10-2013 17:45 #58
I try not too offend others and keep in mind that my experience is just that only my own. I have strong opinions on certain topics but I always try consider another perspective and remember everyone's experience is completely unique.
Becoming a mother has changed me as a person I am so much more open minded now and empathetic. I think it's a big part of maturing as a person, being able to see past your own experience.
17-10-2013 19:00 #59
I've found having to word things a more diplomatic way on here (I've been here since I was not-quite-20, and I'm 27 now) has helped me IRL too.
How often do you want to scream, "OMFG, how stupid are you?" while slapping someone upside the head? BH (because of infractions) forced me to stop wording things like that... and it's DEFINITELY meant I'm much better at my job because of it.
If someone says something absurd, you can say the "OMFG, how stupid are you?" thing, and add a "I cannot believe that in this day and age, someone can endanger their child like that! I hope someone takes that baby off you!" What does that do? It makes the person you're referring to feel bad or angers them... and you'll get lots of people quoting you, telling you off or agreeing with you... but what changes? Nothing. The person you're posting to writes you off as a jerk and nothing changes. You posting what you did changes absolutely NOTHING long-term.
Instead, you can say, "OP, I think you really need to reconsider how you're doing that, as it doesn't sound very safe at all." And then add on some additional info that may be helpful.
They MAY just ignore it, but it's unlikely to have hte same "ignore that b*tch" reaction that being a jerk will cause.
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17-10-2013 19:16 #60
I do think there are many that don't truelly say how they feel in fear of backlash. I often get private messages of support over things I say or in support of backlash I receive in threads sometimes and they often admit they don't give their opinion on bubhub due to the backlash.
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