I would say that I try to word my response in a respectful and non offensive way. I think it's ok to disagree with others but to do it tactfully.
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16-10-2013 18:50 #11
16-10-2013 18:56 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Wording can make a huge difference in how people react to you. There's some posters that I have a negative reaction to because of how their post is worded, but others may say the exact same thing in a different way & I'll find myself reading it with interest instead of taking offense or dismissing them.
16-10-2013 18:57 #13-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Only very rarely do I sugarcoat my opinion because I'm worried about offending someone. Usually if I think the person is having a really really rough time/has problems then I might actually be supportive even if I disagree with what they are doing.
If its just a normal debate/discussion thread I don't sugarcoat. I do try to not be personal (well now I do not so much when I first joined). Sometimes I dont have the time/cant be bothered fluffing things up incase someone is offended. Sometimes i am worried that fluff would dilute my view so people would misinterpret. I often hold views that are different to the majority and many times I am very honest about them (say exactly what pops into my mind even if it is not pc/I am not sure of it myself). People can be a bit shocked, think Im rude and take things personally even though most of the time I don't mean to personally attack anyone.
Last edited by VicPark; 16-10-2013 at 19:02.
16-10-2013 19:00 #14
No (are you shocked ) I don't sugar coat, but my opinion usually isn't disrespectful or judgmental. I will call it as I see it- I don't make generalizations and usually don't have personal issues with people (there's one or two that spring to mind!) so if I think my opinion is fair, I won't sugar coat it. BUT- if I do think my opinion is going to come across as rude, I will usually re-think my position. If it's not a nice thing to say to someone I stop and think- if its not a nice thing to say, why do I believe it?
Eg, I don't understand why someone would stay home and never go out to work. But that doesn't mean I think long term SAHMs are all lazy and directionless. I know there are loads of reasons why someone would do it- I just don't 'get' it. But just because I don't get it doesn't mean it's not important to others, or they don't have valid reasons to do what they do. So that's an example of a fairly contentious topic where I don't think I'll ever understand the other argument, but I think I can argue about it respectfully rather than from a place of willful ignorance. It's one area where I do have to be careful about how I word things, and if I have to stop and think about how I word something, it always always makes me think about whether my position is wrong.
The posters I admire the most on BH do this much better than me. I think lots of people here who some would find rude or belligerent are just confident in their position and not afraid to voice it. But are always respectful of the opposite opinion.
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16-10-2013 19:05 #15
I think I sugar coat because I don't want to inflame a situation.
In general, i am super prickly and very outspoken in my own head and with people I know well, but I don't deal well with conflict and so I'm always careful to rephrase what i want to say a few times until I'm sure that it maintains the point I want to get across without being disrespectful or deliberately inflaming a situation.
16-10-2013 19:07 #16
In general, I don't sugar-coat, I just don't be a d*ck about it.
I like to think I word things in a fairly diplomatic way. That way my opinion is not watered-down, but if people get offended it's because of the opinion itself, not at the inflammatory way I've presented it.
16-10-2013 19:10 #17
No, which is probably why I comment so little should probably re evaluate that personality flaw.
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16-10-2013 19:13 #18
Yep. I sugar coat all the time. Its not worth dealing with the flaming if I'm direct. If I have to sugar coat too much I just thank posters that do it for me but not actually post myself.
Eta. I used to be direct. Now I just move on.
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Last edited by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah; 16-10-2013 at 19:15.
16-10-2013 19:13 #19
I dont sugarcoat. Im not afraid to be in the minority at all.
However, I phrase my opinion in the most respectful way I can, and if I don't have time to do that, I dont post. A lot of times I will read a thread an and 'like' posts because I cant type a response with DS3 in my arms (which lets face it, he is between the hours of 5am and 6pm lol.
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16-10-2013 20:01 #20
No, if I want to say something I'll say it.
I try not to be a b**** doing it but if I have an opinion then I'm allowed to voice it, just like everyone else.
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