I have so much trouble getting my dd to eat many things, but most vexxing to me is her refusal to eat vegetables and her insistance that pasta be served with every meal. I have probably fostered this by giving in to her a lot and pandering. She will be 4 next month.
Tonight I said to her that she will get no other food apart from dinner which was a very mild beef curry with potatoes in it, which she has eaten before. She refused it and I told her several times that that was it, no other food would be given to her.
So we watched spiderman, had a bath, I gave her a small cup of milk (most of which she spilled on me) and then it started. She went to the fridge looking for food, I offered her more of her dinner, she was demanding watermelon and then she cried and cried and cried. I felt so mean.....so so mean. And worst of all, I really helped create this problem by giving in and letting her have things after dinner (not all bad things, often fruit or cheese but occasionally things like custard or sometimes a dry cracker).
She cried herself to sleep sitting with me in a dark room while I stroked her arm.
Please tell me I wasn't too mean?
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15-10-2013 22:10 #1
Feeling like a very mean mummy tonight
15-10-2013 22:20 #2
You're a good mum!
I've got a similar issue with ds2. I'm going to try your approach to it.
Good luck! I hope it works out for you (and me)
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15-10-2013 22:24 #3
I dont have advice but just wanted to say I have the same problems with my kids. Many dinner battles with my dd who is getting fussier and she is almost 4 too. I also often give her fruit or cheese if she says she is hungry having not eaten much dinner. I am torn between being firm with kids and their food choice vs not making a big deal. Recently though I have used bribery where dd gets a small ice cream (I give her about 1tbsp in a small cone) if she eats most of her dinner. Today she ate all her broccoli and cauliflower and wontons which normally she would not. I figure at least this way she is getting used to eating veggies.
Sorry not much useful advice . Also I don't think you are being mean. It's just so hard when you want your kids to eat healthy balanced meals but they aren't interested.
15-10-2013 22:24 #4
Not mean at all, I have been doing this with DS1 since he turned 4, wish I had started sooner. I even do it to DS2 and he is 2.5.
Now they know that if they don't finish their dinner they don't get anything else.
It's up to us as mums to make sure their diets are healthy, with all the different foods they need.
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15-10-2013 22:25 #5
Fingers crossed she is a fast learner so we don't have to do that dance again.
Good luck. It sucks.
Through her sobs she said "..but you always let me have half of something" *sigh*.
15-10-2013 22:25 #6
how heartbreaking for you. You're not a mean mummy, you're a loving caring mummy who wants her daughter to eat healthily. Stay strong, it's best for your dd in the long run xx
15-10-2013 22:45 #7
Hugs. I have just started making DS have his dinner and if he doesnt eat it, he has a bath and straight to bed without dessert or anything. He will now be eating what we eat. Last night was bad, tonight was a little better. Hoping he will start eating his veges if anything, even if thats all he eats for dinner, i will be happy.
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15-10-2013 23:31 #8
You're not mean. Just a good mum looking for strategies to help her daughter eat her dinner. Hope things improve soon.
15-10-2013 23:43 #9
Not a bad mum at all!!!! The opposite actually.
Dh and I use to be very over weight, I was 120 kilos, and for dinner as a family we would have so much crap, oily, food.
I would also let the kids have coke with meals *don't shoot me* when my youngest was 2 I didn't want my children to turn into me!
Unhappy, unhealthy, sick...
I had been dieting myself for a few months and tried to get dh,ds and dd to have what I was having but for peace and quiet I would just give in and give them what they wanted.
One day I cleared everything crap from the house (my kids actually cried when I did this) We went to a fruit and veg market and stocked up (with crying kids in tow) I didn't even buy meats as I knew my kids would just eat that and avoid the 'new stuff'
It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
I did it on a bad payweek so the last bit of our money was spent on fruit and veg.. No one could go buy anything else, there was nothing left in the house so there was no other options.
My husband acted like he had been robbed. He was pretty p!ssed off.
My kids hated me, dd who was 2 didn't eat a thing for 3 days and cried constantly that she was hungry, ds said horrible things to me, but all I offered was wholesome food for their complaints.
On day 4 everyone caved and ate dinner (which was salad wraps) each day after that got better and better.
After a good week of eating what I served I started putting meats back on the plate and they did eat equal enough portions of each, which I was happy with.
I have never felt like such a b*tch in my life when I did that.
It's been nearly 2 years since that change.
Dd has no more eczema.
Ds behaviour has been great.
Dh was 110 kilos, he is now 80
I was 120kgs I'm now 68
The kids stuff around at meal times, yes, they don't sit and eat up but at least now if they don't eat dinner because they have been distracted or what not, they will come to me an hour or so later asking for something healthy, which is a huge improvement!!!
I'm trying to work on having them eat when dinner is served instead of having sibling rivalry games
We have nothing crap in the house anymore.
No coke, nothing is in packages and it's all fresh.
The only thing bad in the house is a bottle of cordial that I've had here for over a week now for me to mix in with dd's medicine (I tried some of the medicine and it's nasty hence the cordial)
There would be 20 ml gone from the bottle, it's only been used for her medicine. Ds hasn't even asked for some.
If that was in the house 2 years ago, it would have been drained within 2 days.
In the beginning I remember the kids would scream for McDonalds... In the car, shops, anywhere they seen McD they would scream bloody murder for it.
So I would go, but just get a fruit bag, a small garden salad with a bottle of water.
I made sure they ate at least some if it too, they only asked 3-4 times then never mentioned mcdonalds again lol.
It's hard. But it really is short term pain for long term gain.
In the first few days I felt like I was starving them and being unreasonable, my dr assured me that no child who can either open a fridge or has food sat in front if them daily will starve.
He said they will try not to eat, but if food is around human instinct will make them eat it.
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16-10-2013 04:36 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
Nope, not mean! I do that with my kids all the time.
Bergeron- wow, what amazing commitment! Good on you, changing the lives of 4 people. I loved reading your story.
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