Hubby and I seen another GP before he went back to work and decided we would try once more. But dunno if I can even fall. And if/when I do I'm going to be so anxious... All the way thru.
Yeah I know- it's supposed tone a happy time. But I was alone (had my mum) and dh wasn't there... He was at work-Just like this year... It feels like history repeating itself iykwim?
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27-11-2013 16:44 #51
27-11-2013 22:11 #52
Hopefully a good nights sleep helps things. Put my dd to bed and now I'm heading for an early night. Things can only look up from here! Right? I can't feel as low as I did today!! Fingers crossed
27-11-2013 22:28 #53Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
My third bub was a 31 weeker and he's just turned two. Birthdays are hard. They should be joyful but for me his first was anything but. It just brought everything to the surface - he may have entered the world on that day, but he wasn't meant to be in it yet. I instead chose to focus on his come home day. That is the anniversary that I choose to dwell on and remember. DH and I have a champagne, and we have a meal with his older siblings because it was such a special day for them too.
I don't know, it's different for everyone but that's something that helped me.
27-11-2013 22:44 #54
I hope you had a good night sleep!
Kitty has great advice. .. my DH and I will celebrate the milestones in our dds life too.. like the dates of coming home and her surgeries. .. because she came through them and is better for it. They are big deals to us. I hope you can find some positives to dwell on during this hard time. Big hugs. .. wishing a good night's sleep for you.
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28-11-2013 08:58 #55
Didn't really have a great sleep but I'm sure once my dds birthday has been and gone that will fix itself. It's just the lead up to that day. I'm staying with my mum on her bday as I know I will be emotional.
She's such a happy little girl now- even though she has so many appointments and therapies still. I just don't know why I can't be as happy as her. Trauma is a huge thing and I hate the early memories I have of her journey. It was a horrible and sad time of all of our lives.
I think talking / venting about it here is helping somewhat. I have kept it bottled in for so long and pretend to everyone in real life that everything's ok. I think I need to admit it's not and maybe my feelings towards this issue will ease. I know they won't completely go away. They will just be easier to live with...
29-11-2013 17:23 #56
I dislike my mother in law even more now... She said yesterday on the phone to me that I should be over all my issues with my daughter now- "oh it's been two years- you should be over it by now!" Arghhhh yeah she didn't have to live that life! I had to!!!
29-11-2013 19:13 #57
You need to ignore that rubbish. Silly woman.
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29-11-2013 23:12 #58
Going to try naturopathy to help with anxiety I think. Not even antidepressants are really helping a great deal.
I wish it was just as easy as how my mother in law thinks!
I told my hubby what she said to me and he went nuts at her! Good to know that I wasn't being completely out of line with my words to her!!! Starting to stand up for myself! Guess that's one step closer to recovery.
10-12-2013 20:57 #59
So, a lot has happened in the last few weeks.
I went to see a naturopath and was given flower essences drops to help my anxiety and panic attacks and I'm pleased to say they have been working for the most part.
I am still unfortunately very undecided on the whole TTC journey. I unpacked a whole heap of baby things the other day and I had absolutely no desire to fill them with baby number 2 so hubby and I spoke and decided to get my body back on track first and hopefully it won't be long before we are actively trying again. I have had severe IBS and found that stress is a major contributor so one less stress I suppose would be taken off my shoulders so to speak.
I've decided for the minute to just try and finish my EA course and enjoy my two yr old DD as they grow up too fast.
Looking to possibly return to part time work in July next yr. which I think will do me good.
My social life has been lacking and friends have disappeared so it's time to make new ones I Spose!
I'm trying to be positive and I must say things are looking up... Now that there's a plan in place for the future well- somewhat anyway.
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