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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013

    Unhappy 4YO Son Lashes Out, Angry, Please HELP!

    My 4 year old son can at times be pretty much perfect. He listens, behaves well and is a loving affectionate fun kid.

    Over the last 12 months I have noticed some concerning behavious and am wits end thinking I'm done everything I can.

    On occassions he has gotten so angry to the point where all he does is cry hysterically, and scream and grunt and hit, sometimes he even hits himself....on this particular night I grabbed him and fully clothed I took him into the shower to try and calm him down, he got worse then 20 minutes later he happily let me get him dressed and he went to bed.

    He often tells me he's 'angry'. When he misbehaves badly I talk to him about how it affects other people and that he needs to behave so we can do nice fun things and he agrees and says he's sorry and by the time he's finished the sentence he's back doing the same thing.

    He often talks in a very angry agressive tone and says stuff like wanting me to put him on the road and squash him with my car.

    He often says he can't do something when he has done it plenty of times before.

    Lately when he gets in a mood, I just let him walk off and do what he needs to do and then he'll come back 10 minutes later and tell me he's happy now.

    I split from his Dad a year ago and I have no doubt that has impacted on some of his behaviour but I'm not convinced that is entirely it.

    My Nan looks after him twice a week when I work and even she says that he is a very angry child and on occassions he has bitten and kicked her.

    I don't know what to do.
    Is this normal behaviour or should I take him to see someone.

    Please help.....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Hi, I just replied to another post with similar issues... here is what I wrote. I hope it may help you .........Hello, my little boy just turned 4 and went through a good 2weeks of this angry behaviour. I put it down to a number of things...
    I had researched that at around 4 children go through a transition... their hormones play up and they are starting to become individuals and find their place/role in the family. Some try to challenge parents authorities.
    My son was hitting/ punching/ angry ALL the time, it was so out of character for him.
    They also watch their world and imitate.. He was starting to get into TMNTurtles a little more (he rarely watches it now.) Also he goes to day care twice a week to socialize and his carers said he had started to hang with boys who liked to play a little rough.

    Boys will be boys but I overcame this behaviour by setting boundaries and sticking to them. Telling him "It is NEVER ok to hit your mummy." Taking away a favourite toy if he didn't listen. Ignoring some behaviours and not responding to not using manners and making him speak nicely to me or he wouldn't get what he wanted. It took a few weeks & A LOT of patients from my end but he eventual realised that this behaviour wasn't getting him anywhere and suddenly it stopped!! he went back to his happy old self

    So KEEP CALM as best you can, stick to your guns and keep enforcing positive behaviours and I am sure it will get better.

    If not then I would start looking at diet ... being a child care teacher I have seen a lot of children have bad behaviour issues simply because they couldn't tolerate certain food colourings found in many foods (yellow being the worst).
    Something to think about....

  3. #3
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
    Question those who don't question authority
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    Try googling the explosive child, and see if it ticks any boxes for you. There is info and a straight foward plan to adopt if you think he is that kind of child. GL I have a pretty difficult 4 yr old, and until I started implementing the explosive child strategies with him, I was really tearing my hair out!
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 22-01-2014 at 14:11.


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