+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Newcastle
    Posts
    653
    Thanks
    817
    Thanked
    217
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Opinions & advice please

    My husband and I are in the process of separating.

    Today I looked at some horrible rentals & visited centre link.

    The lady I saw there informed me we could fill out 'separated but under one roof' forms. Filling them out was mind boggling but it has opened my eyes to daily tasks that need to change immediately to 'really' be separated (like making DH wash his own clothes & cook his own meals)

    I can't decide wether to leave ASAP (a friend has offered us a room for the time being) or stay for a bit & try to implement these changes.

    I feel like it would be better for myself & my daughter to stay & sort out everything out (child support, finances, assets etc) but can see my husbands heart is breaking & kind of feel like I'm rubbing salt in the wound.

    He's not abusive or dangerous & I am actually open to getting back together with him if he can learn how to be a good husband & care for my needs.

    Has anyone here separated from a husband they didn't hate, from a good father who was just a rubbish partner? I really don't know what I am doing.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,905
    Thanks
    78
    Thanked
    644
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Maybe have a chat to him first if you can and see how he feels too?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    53
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked
    31
    Reviews
    0
    Hi OP, I tried "living together but not being together", it didn't work for me. I think in my situation things needed to change for things to change (if that makes any sense).

    If you can both discuss it and agree on how it needs to be to work for both of you and your DD within a set timeframe then it could be exactly what you need.

    I've loosely followed your story and you genuinely seem like a hardworking and loving mother. It's great to see that you value yourself enough to demand better treatment or walk away. I wish you all the best!

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to ScaryMissMary For This Useful Post:

    Mummy Potato  (10-10-2013)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    251
    Thanked
    371
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    A family friend of ours divorced but stayed living under the same roof for a while... They had just built a brand new house & had built separate master bedrooms on each end of the house. Their reasoning was that they were a great family, but they just weren't in love with each other anymore.

    I really have no idea how it all worked out, as our families lost touch when my brother & their son moved to different schools.

    I think it's a very selfless thing to do for your daughter... I think it would definitely be something worth sitting down & talking to your ex about... There would need to be boundaries set & I guess you would need to treat each other like 'room mates' as such.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Sorry you are going through this.

    Yes, my ex and I were best buddies right til the end. But the loving feeling was gone

    It's definitely worth trying to ok things out, always! BUT, only if you BOTH put in the effort.

    If one is unwilling, it's absolutely pointless.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,342
    Thanks
    595
    Thanked
    395
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Pretty sure you can only be under the same roof for a short period before having to move out. I did this and it helped alot and as we lived separate lives for years before I left, the changes werent changes but normal life for me anyway.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

Similar Threads

  1. Help/opinions please!
    By cassieh in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 17-07-2013, 18:14
  2. Opinions please
    By LilMuffin in forum Choosing Baby Names
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 20-02-2013, 21:01
  3. Returning to work - opinions and advice desperately wanted pls?
    By Buttoneska in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 22-11-2012, 12:49

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
SoftmatsSoftmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwingulerâ„¢ Play Mats and ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
IVF/FET April & May chatConception & Fertility General Chat
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
New mattress- onebed?General Sleeping & Settling Chat
Private health insurance vs extrasPrivate Health Insurance Discussion
HiIntroductions
No idea pleas helpConception & Fertility General Chat
I am... #20General Chat
REVIEWS
"Pigeon teats rule!"
by Alex
Pigeon PP Wide Neck reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›