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  1. #1
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    Default Negative reference WWYD

    Recently I gave a friend of mine a reference for a job as I used to supervise her. Over the last year or so I have given her a few references as she has changed jobs a few times and always has two part time jobs going at once.

    When I gave the reference for her recently the employer mentioned that her other reference said that she "lacks initiative and often stand there staring into space". I never had these issues with her and told the employer that.

    I'm a bit stuck now if I should tell my friend about the negative reference? I'm pretty sure she got the job anyway and one one hand I don't want to hurt her feelings but on the other hand I think she should know so that she doesn't use that reference again. She is a friend I see a few times a year not really close but have know her a long time.

    Any advice would be appreciated


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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggle View Post
    Recently I gave a friend of mine a reference for a job as I used to supervise her. Over the last year or so I have given her a few references as she has changed jobs a few times and always has two part time jobs going at once.

    When I gave the reference for her recently the employer mentioned that her other reference said that she "lacks initiative and often stand there staring into space". I never had these issues with her and told the employer that.

    I'm a bit stuck now if I should tell my friend about the negative reference? I'm pretty sure she got the job anyway and one one hand I don't want to hurt her feelings but on the other hand I think she should know so that she doesn't use that reference again. She is a friend I see a few times a year not really close but have know her a long time.

    Any advice would be appreciated


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    I would want to know... So that I could make sure I remove that person as a reference for future job prospects.

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    I would tell her.

  4. #4
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    I know I really need to tell her. She is just such a sensitive person I don't want to upset her.


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    I've been in that situation. Only it was me that was given a bad reference and she wasn't one of my referees she just knew people where I applied (jealousy). I was told and yes it's very upsetting, especially when it's not true but I'm glad I found out. I turned down the job when it was offered to me as I didn't want to be around people who were friends with the toxic person spreading lies.


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    I'd tell her

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    It may upset her for a little bit but it will help her in the long run.

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    Can you tell her but tiptoe around the truth a bit and just say the employer you spoke to said the other reference didn't give very much information, and suggest she select another?

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    I'd tell her and stress that you think she's a great employee.

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    I would tell her for sure. But I would also just say that you were quite suprised at what this person said as you had never had any problems when she was your employee. I'm a sensitive soul myself and that's how I would want to be told


 

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