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  1. #51
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    I also think mother..as heart breaking it may be

    I also think the death of the mother would b more likely to affect more people (friends, other children, colleagues etc). I think I personally would find it harder to go on without DH than my unborn child too

    Such a horrible situation for anyone to be in though...

  2. #52
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    When I was pregnant with Dd, I told DP that if that situation came up I would save the baby. He said he would save me.

    Now I have DD, if it happened with a second baby I would save me for my DD.

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    I honestly don't know. Now I have my 8 week old I couldn't imagine losing her.

    I do know if I lost a baby and survived the grief would probably kill me anyway.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by giveitago View Post
    Pregnant with first baby - save the baby.
    Pregnant with subsequent children - save the mother.
    Definately...now, my ds needs his mummy...of course we would all grieve the baby that was lost, but I can't imagine my ds dealing with the grief of losing me, and having to adjust to a new primary carer AND sibling.

    I am literally petrified of dying now that I have ds who would be left, in any situation....I know eventually he would be ok, but he relies so heavily on me. It wouldnt be easy.

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    I'd say save me. Even without other children. DFs mum nearly died having him and he still carries that very heavy guilt with him every day. I don't think I could agree with letting a child have that kind of thought mentality, that they killed me. It'd be horrid. And in no way has MIL ever made my DF feel guilty or placed the blame or anything like that on him. It's all his own. He still feels like it's something he can ever make up to her. So I'd choose to save me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    Mother. I lost my mum when I was younger and I would never want my children to experience that pain.
    This. I lost my mum at 7. I now have 3 girls, aged 5,4 and almost 3. Thinking how attached and aware my 5 yr old is, there is no way my hubby or I would choose baby. My girls need their mum! I know that sounds terrible, but the effect of children not having a mum like me breaks my heart!

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    When I had ds2 I told dh if something goes wrong save the baby.

    Now I'm so torn.

    I love my unborn ds3, but what about the two that are already alive??

    I still don't know....

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    There would be lots of things to consider. For a start, the partner would become single and it would be hard to support his family especially if there was more than that baby involved.. if there were other children those children could be severely affected from the loss of their mother... I'd love to say save the baby but in reality it would be more realistic and practical to save the mother. I can't even imagine being faced with this situation. Mind you my 3 year old and myself were hanging over a cliff and my DH could only save one of us and he saved me I'd kick his ***.

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    Me. Because DH sucks at looking after our kids and would let his mother make all the decisions and I don't like how she parents.

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    Mother


 

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