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  1. #1
    MrsHoward's Avatar
    MrsHoward is offline If all I have is you, then I have everything
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    Default Just feeling overwhelmed!

    Just need a little vent...feeling so overwhelmed ! It feels like every emotion is bursting at the seems and I just need to cry!
    I cried for ages tonight to DH and I couldnt really explain why! I think its every little thing adding up that made me crack...not having a full night sleep since bub was born 10 weeks ago, not being able to eat when I need to, bub having reflux the past 3 days and screaming everytime I need to put her down (which makes me cry more cos I cant help , Bub doesnt nap during day unless I hold her which can be exhausting and me trying to be happy the whole time so bub doesnt pick up on my stress or see me cranky because I want her to see me always smiling at her.....it all builds up and I just need to cry!
    Please tell me it gets better? I know everyone must go through this feeling too? (except men goddamn them! ) Just need to know im not alone in feeling this way....how did you deal with it ?

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    I promise it does get better.

    Let yourself cry when you need to.

    Things that help me cope:
    -swing, pram, carrier, bouncer... usually one of these would allow me to put bub down without the screaming.
    -give yourself 5 minutes. Put bub down somewhere safe (like a bassinet / cot) walk away, even have a shower. Bub will be fine for 5 minutes and you can go back in with a clearer mind.
    -get help from your partner when he is home so you can have a rest.

    Have you got family around that could help out? Even just to sit with bub while you have a rest / bath / whatever you need to do.

    In regards to reflux, try to keep her upright after feeds, if youre not already using anything speak to a pharmacist about what you can use - gaviscon worked for us.

    ETA - if the feelings of sadness and being overwhelmed hang around, its definitely worth speaking to your gp, as these can be signs of PND. Many parents have walked that road, and it is important to get help sooner than later.

    You're certainly not alone. Hugs xx

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    You're not alone!!! And yes it does get better!!!!
    Ask your husband for help and take a nap or go somewhere and get an hour or two of me time, it's hard but sounds like you need a break

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    I am in the same boat but rather than have reflux my bub was born premmie. She feeds so much more than a term bub and won't let me put her down either.

    I agree with the above posts. Plus I'm looking a getting a stretchy wrap so I can wear her...

    Another trick but might not work for a reflux bub... I lie down with her in our bed and breastfeed on my side with her lying flat on her back. When she is asleep I sneak away, heat up my wheat pillow until just warm and sneak it in next to her so she thinks it's me.

    I just make sure she is right in the middle of the bed and can't roll off. She's too little yet anyway. Just be careful if your bub can roll.

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    *Hugs* It will get better mama xx

  6. #6
    MrsHoward's Avatar
    MrsHoward is offline If all I have is you, then I have everything
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    Unfortunately I dont have family.around. My MIL has offered to help so i should take advantage of that.

    I am thinking of starting her on a bottle, just once a day so DH can have a turn at feeding and bond I can have a proper rest .

    I do have a baby carrier and should.probably use that more.but she is getting so heavy now she is almost 6kg Lol.

    Will definitely try to get some extra help..i just am too proud to ask for it sometimes and think I can do it all myself and try to be some kind of super mumma!...Im starting to realise its unrealistic and we all need help !

    Thank you for ur help and kind words ladies definitely eased my mind a little

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    Your post sounds exactly how I am feeling. My DD is 5 weeks old and we have no family around us at all - just DH and I and he works constantly.
    Somedays I just break down & even said to my DH that I screwed up our life and her life by having her, but then most days, I don't know why, I can just soldier on!!
    I haven't slept a full night since the beginning of the year as I would wake every night around 4 or 5 times while pregnant as well. For me getting 2 hours is amazing, yet rare!!
    My added stress now is that DH is not coping as when he comes she is crying and he gets do stressed and can't settle her. So I am feeling very alone.
    It apparently gets better and we are defitinely not alone, but it is not fair. I just wait for the moments everyday where I get a little smile or little cuddles and it makes it all worthwhile and when I feel that I am getting angry with her, I just remember that she is only 5 weeks and needs me and I can't give up on her.
    Massive hugs and if DH can help you out, do it!! And make sure you sleep - even if he does 2 feeds consecutively so that you get a good 6 or 7 hours sleep and a nice long shower!
    Xx

  8. #8
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    *Hugs* to you too Miss

    I know how u feel , sometimes i think the same things but then you get a smile it feels all worth ...it is gettin better as she get older...cant wait till they can talk and tell us whats wrong

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    Is she on medication for her reflux? My DD has silent reflux and Zantac has made a world of difference. Although I think it might be losing its effectiveness and we may have to try Losec soon. But before medication she was exactly as you describe your DD, multiple night waking and couldn't be put down during the day. We also did a day stay at an early parenting unit to learn how to settle her in her cot. She is now 4.5 months and things are far from perfect but certainly much easier.
    Just wanted to say I totally understand where you are at, some days I feel so overwhelmed and desperate too. My GP (who had 2 reflux babies) gave me really good advice which was that bub having reflux is ultimately harder on you than it is on your DD, she won't remember it but you will.
    I find taking just a little bit of time out really helps, I often don't want to because I feel guilty leaving DD but always feel better afterwards. I don't really like to leave her with anyone except DH but even having a 20 min bath on my own can make a big difference to my mood.

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    She has only really started to show signs of reflux since Wednesday and I see her Dr on Thursday. We are using Gaviscon, but I don't think it is doing anything.
    Have had a pretty good day today, DH thinks maybe it is yoghurt that I am eating as that is the only dairy product I have had and I don't eat chocolate, so fingers crossed we are getting better!


 

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