Does anyone else find that outside of their family they actually don't do anything? I'm currently 24 weeks along with my third child, I'm a SAHM to 3.5 year old and 2 year old boys and I love it. I haven't worked since I was 20 weeks pregnant with my first son and apart from going to playgroup with the boys once or twice a week I don't do much that involves other people.
DH works long hours out of town during the week, sometimes away interstate over night so our weekends are often family orientated - a park, the zoo, a trip away or even just at home in the backyard together etc. During the week my days are filled with cooking, cleaning, playing with my boys, taking them to visit my elderly nanna and doing little art projects with them. There is limited adult interaction unless it it from my family. (Mother, step-dad, brother.)
I don't have any mummy friends at all and I don't think I've seen one of my childless friends in over 5 months - since before I was pregnant!! It doesn't often bother me but sometimes when I have exciting news or am feeling flat for whatever reason I realise the only people I have to speak to are my mother and DH and then I start to feel a little lonely and wonder what is so wrong with me that I have no friends lol.
I've been considering doing a midwifery or nursing course in 2015 but I wonder how I'd go with a children who are 5, 3.5 and 1. I've completed half of a teaching degree but the idea of finishing it and actually teaching terrifies me. It would take a very patient person to be a teacher and I am not that person. I just feel like once my children are in preschool and primary school I am going to have nothing. No career or friends and that is a bit of a worry.
Does anyone else feel the same?
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04-10-2013 15:37 #1
Life Outside of Children and Family
04-10-2013 15:40 #2
Hugs! I feel the same way sometimes though I do work part time. I don't have any hobbies per-se and since moving I don't have close friends near by. I have tried thinking of other ways to meet new people etc but it's too hard sometimes haha!
04-10-2013 15:42 #3
I used to be like that, but became very depressed, almost like I had lost my identity. I *have* to do things for me now (and I don't mean child-related things either, like play- dates. I need to do things that are just for me).
I usually do pilates and go to the odd wine tasting event. I make sure I catch up with my friends for dinner at least once every 4-6 weeks. I am starting some new night classes soon .
Would it be possible for you to do things like that?
04-10-2013 15:42 #4
I have an active social life but that's mainly cos I seek out people and things to do.
I'm afraid of being left alone so fill my days up with friends, work, family and the usual housework.
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04-10-2013 15:56 #5
I considered joining the gym a little while back but that is on the back burner as I'm pregnant again. Then I thought of a book club as I enjoy reading but there is nothing in the area.
But to be honest, I live in a small town and there doesn't seem to be much on offer. As much as I enjoy having my mother living nearby for helping out I think I'd like to move back to somewhere a little bigger. I try to organise things with friends but they live in the city and to be honest I don't think they are interested in catching up with a pregnant mother lol.
04-10-2013 15:57 #6
Hugs I have work friends but since I'm not working right now basically it's my family...I'm also very shy in person and not brave enough to go out and join something.
That's why I spend a lot of time on bubhub lol!!!
I'm not worried I figure if it becomes an issue when my kids are at school I can do canteen duty or join the p and c.
04-10-2013 15:57 #7
I have a very active life outside of family. Some might think too much. Heading to a day spa tomorrow with a mate, because I want to. Balance is important OP, identity outside of being mum is important for me too. Everyone has different thresholds for family/social life balance, I know it's not good for my mental wellbeing to be around family/home all the time.
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04-10-2013 16:10 #8
I feel like my children have no little friends because I am so socially inept. I am hoping that my eldest with make some friends next year at pre-school.
04-10-2013 16:26 #9
I'm out all the time.. At least one day a weekend or I would go insane. I love being a mum but I need 'me' time too!
I go out shopping with friends, dinner, massages organised by df & also just movies!
04-10-2013 16:34 #10
Where do all of you find the time to get to do these things? I always have the kids as DH works so going to get a massage during the week is not going to be relaxing with the kids there lol. DH and I have dinner or lunch alone once a month on a Saturday, my mum takes the boys that day and I always really enjoy that. And of course their isn't a cinema in town or many shops apart from Safeway, Millers and Target country so it grocery shopping or nothing.
I really need to get some new hobbies that give me a chance to meet people and make friends.
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