My 3.5 year old holds onto her poo for days.
Everyday for a good 4-5 hours she will try but from what I can gather she feels it coming then holds it back.
She will cry for hours about it.
Most days she will just lay on the couch trying to hold it in with such effort she will break into sweats, no matter how much I encourage or leave her be she will try her hardest to hold it until her body gives up.
It's effecting everyone, I can't leave the house when she is like this, she is up at night, and most of all she is missing out on so many things due to this.
It's not constipation, she needs to go but doesn't want to, when she does go its soft not hard.
She has been like this since a few months old really, back then though she wasn't able to hold it for more than 30 minutes but it was still a big ordeal for her to do number 2.
She is toilet trained for wee's but not poo, refuses to go near the toilet when she feels a poo coming on.
What am I suppose to do when she goes to prep?
I've tried everything to get her to go.
I've never given her a negative reaction to bowl movements, we have tried reward when she does a poo etc.
She was on laxatives but that made it worse as she would leak little bits that got so soft they would come out, her tummy pains were worse and it generally made no difference.
She is on a high fibre diet , but maybe I'm missing something
Here is what she had today.
Breakfast- Wholemeal toast with just butter
Morning tea- freshly juiced pear juice (3 whole pears) i make this myself, it's just 3 pears I run through my juicer. No sugar etc.
A bowl of almonds.
Lunch- brown rice with quite a big bowl of broccoli.
Afternoon tea- baked beans
Dinner- steamed chicken with peas.
She has had aprox 1.2 liters of water (she emptied her 1l water bottle plus a small cup of water)
She also has benifibre and probiotic daily.
If she keeps going like this our dr wants to start doing enemas, But I believe that will only frighten her more and make it more of a "thing" iykwim.
I'm at a total loss on what to do.
I hate seeing her in this pain.
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03-10-2013 19:59 #1
Holding onto poo.
03-10-2013 20:23 #2
We went through this with my first daughter, it was absolutely horrible! First thing I suggest is finding out if there is a continence clinic you can take her to, we never found a GP who was able to help DD but after we started at the continuance clinic she never looked back.
For DD the problem was a long issue with constipation that caused her to start holding on and the answer was movicol which draws water to the poo and is not a laxative. However if constipation is not the problem that may not be relevant.
03-10-2013 20:59 #3
Thank you for the reply, we were advised by our GP to use movicole, went to the chemist with what he wrote down and was given adult movicole, I was assured it was ok to use to adult one for toddlers if needed but on the pack it states not to give to children under 12. I've been to afraid to try it.
Did you use the adult one Or the jr one?
Thank you again for your reply, it's really late here and she is still awake in such a state. I will start looking now for the centers you mentioned
03-10-2013 21:29 #4
DD was actually on the full adult movicol dose for a long time, for her her bowel needed to shrink back to normal size and they said that as long as she had the problem would be as long as it took to fix it so it was about a year. I think from memory she was on two sachets of the adult for a few weeks until we went down to one adult. She now is off it completely and doing well There was one stage when we first started we she had to have a phenomenal amount of the stuff over three days then a laxative at the end to give her a full clear out!
With the toilet I know its so hard because you can't push her to poo on there when poking is such a scary experience for her anyway. Dd was given a sit routine, so she would sit on the toilet everyday at the same time with a book until a timer went off then she would get to put a sticker in her book for sitting and another sticker if she pooed. She also had a stool to put her feet on which was suggested by the lead.
I really hope you can get some good help soon
03-10-2013 21:30 #5
Argh my phone hates me tonight! Poking = pooing and lead = pead
03-10-2013 22:12 #6
Thank you, she fell asleep on the couch (no poo, she has been trying since 1pm)
I put a little Vaseline around her anus just to see if that would help to get it out, sometimes this has worked in the past.... well I shouldn't have done it
She freaked out more, now I'm worried I have made it all to much for her and any hopes in her going over the next few days.
I think tomorrow we will just distract her from the issues so to speak, so instead of me fussing over it I'll just try to distract her and try to focus on making her happy, even for a bit just to take her mind off it all.
I had a look online at clinics, we do live semi-rural so there is only 1 place at the nearest private hospital, from the website it says no referral needed, just to call on opening hours.
They are only open 2 days a week, so I will have to wait until Wednesday to call them, but it's a start
I'm prepared to travel out of town if it means getting her seen sooner etc, but I will try the local one first before I look elsewhere, the website was pretty good and had some great tips, thank you for sharing your experience, I had no idea places like this existed (well GP has never told me about such places) it is something I will definitely be booking into.
That's actually a big relief to hear you used adult movicole, naturally after I got the box I googled adult movicole for children and couldn't find much so errd on the side of caution.
I still have a full box, I will give our GP a call tomorrow and check if its still an option for us (it was recommended a good 6 months ago to use) and if so I will start that up.
I don't like giving her laxatives, movicole and how it works feels like a safer option for us.
Laxatives just make her more upset they turn her poo's runny and acid like and it freaks her out more, especially when she can't control them at all from coming out.
Plus she will get gassy, her tummy makes noises and it's all to much for her.
I just hate this feeling that I can't help her when she is so effected by it, it's frustrating because if she just went she wouldn't feel sick, but I can't make her go, she is extremely stubborn with this, everything else she is easy going and very easy to persuade, not this though.
I constantly feel like I might have done something wrong for her to be so scared by it.
It brings me to tears daily, I have to just walk away so she doesn't see it's effecting me too, pull myself together and be all enthusiastic about poo etc whilst breaking on the inside hearing her cry.
It's all extremely hard to watch
03-10-2013 22:39 #7
We are going through something similar.
Ds1 is 3.5 and will not poo on the toilet.
He sometimes does get constipated, but mainly holds on to his poo. Drives me bonkers.
We are giving him daily parachoc ATM. So he is mainly doing a poo a day , but he still disappears for this, and it takes a lot of convincing to get him to sit on the toilet.
I have movical half strength at home we used once, and he pooed like a trooper the next day. I think he was backed up a bit.
It is quite salty, so I would recommend mixing it with the pear juice.
I'm still trying to work out how to get him on the toilet and not pooing in his pants.
03-10-2013 22:54 #8
Massive !!! You have not done anything wrong to cause this. I'm replying of my phone so it is hard but I really wanted to point that out. It could have started from one time when she might have had a small fissure (I think that's what they are called) and it has hurt when she pooed, it could have started with one poo that was slightly to big so a little bit painful, now in her mind it makes sense to not do that again and the cycle begins. Just looking at the diet you feed her that you mentioned in your first post you can tell your doing a fantastic job, its healthy and full of all the right stuff that should help, pear juice, etc. Please don't blame yourself.
I think what you said you will do tomorrow sounds like a good idea, have some fun together and both try to ignore it as best you can for the day. A nice long bath should help her tummy feel a bit better. I can still remember exactly how frustrating and upsetting the whole thing can be, my DD was sooooo stubborn about it also. Its funny you say about your GP not telling you about the clinics because neither did any of the ones we ever saw. It wasn't until DD was staying in hospital for something else that the nurses noticed and put us straight onto it!
We also did not like laxatives, they aren't a long term solution and didn't really work though the doctors couldn't seem to get it through their heads that this was an issue lasting more than 3 days! What you describe when she is on them sounds like impacted diahorrea (spelling sorry?) in that its runny and she can't control it.
Hang in there you are doing a good job in a tough situation!
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03-10-2013 23:02 #9
As for the Vaseline its understandable that you would try something that has worked before, maybe that's where trying to ignore it all for a bit might help. I remember when the GP gave us suppositories to do, worst time of my life! I felt so awful, yer she pooed afterwards but it was forced and it didn't help her mentally. I think we only did them twice before determining they were not a good solution.
03-10-2013 23:12 #10
Subbing - my dd is exactly the same
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