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  1. #1
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    Default Surprise! I had a baby!

    Due to communication problems in my immediate family this year, I've somehow managed to go through my entire pregnancy and birth experience without telling my parents I was pregnant. I'm now blessed with a 6 week old DS and am trying to think of the best way to tell my parents that they have a grandson. I don't want to hurt or shock them, but I have a feeling they won't be too happy that I didn't share my blessing sooner.

    Any ideas?

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    Wowsers. Sorry I have no useful advice but good luck!

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    Wowsers allright!! I really cannot think of any way to break it to them, they are going to be upset whatever the delivery, I would think.

    I guess the only thing you can do is to be really positive about it, do it in person, not over the phone or anything, and hope that the delight of meeting their grandchild helps largely in smoothing out some of the bumps!

    Good Luck with it!!

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    Congratulations. I am not sure, your parents will no doubt be very shocked if they had no idea at all. Without knowing why there was a 10 month lapse in communication it is hard to know the best way to break the news to them, but best wishes.

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    I guess it all depends on if you intend to have a relationship with them. I hadnt spoken to my mother in over 18 months when I had my first child. I didnt intend on having a relationship with her but felt she should know she had a grandchild so she was sent a birth announcement text

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    congrats on your bubba for starters!

    How you tell them will depend on what sort of relationship you want with them moving forward.

    We didn't tell my MIL about our first baby and took him to visit her when he wa a few weeks old. Subsequently, things have been as bad or worse than pre-DS days, so now she has no idea she has a 2nd grandchild or a 3rd to be born this year.

    My father we've not spoken to for many years, so again he has no idea about the 2 almost 3 grandchildren.

    I am comfortable with the decisions we have made thus far and don't feel anyone has a 'right' to know anything ... it's up to you and your partner to make those decisions.

    best of luck

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    I guess it depends...had you seen them during that time?

    Do you want to have them in your life? In your child's life?

    I would maybe make them a special little photo album if you want it to be a postiive...something so they feel caught up and a leave a page at the end for a photo of them with the bubba.

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    You know I tried to think of this from either perspective, but a lot depends on your parents. First grandchild? There is likely to be an element of shock as well as surprise, because now THEY are GRANDPARENTS and different people feel differently about this.

    I like the idea of a photo album if you want it to be positive. The fact that you haven't communicated in over a year says that this is likely going to be difficult but you can approach it with an attitude that just as you haven't contacted them, they too haven't contacted you - and you've been busy, obviously

    I think it will make it harder on you and the children later if they don't know each other. Just because your parents are jerks to you doesn't mean they will be to your son and there will always be the inevitable questions as they get older - and when they are grown you have no control over their realtionship with each other.

    Just some food for thought.

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    Without knowing your circumstances I can only share my experience in this sort of situation.

    Dh hates his dad, holds a lot of resentment for things that happened in the past. We went to Fiji a few weeks ago so dd could meet the family. Fil lives on a different island but heard we were visiting. I had to push dh into going to the village to see his dad. Fil cried and cried when he met dd and that to me was enough reassurance that no matter what kind of a father he was he deserves to know his granddaughter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MilkingMaid View Post
    Wowsers allright!! I really cannot think of any way to break it to them, they are going to be upset whatever the delivery, I would think.

    I guess the only thing you can do is to be really positive about it, do it in person, not over the phone or anything, and hope that the delight of meeting their grandchild helps largely in smoothing out some of the bumps!

    Good Luck with it!!
    I agree that in person or through Skype perhaps (if they Skype and you can't visit) would be the best case scenarios. Holding your little one might smooth away a lot of angst.

    Good luck - there's something very special about a new baby. Don't leave it too long, though, or it'll just get harder!


 

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