Crafty... We are having a rough patch too. DH has depression and feels overwhelmed and 'not ready' to buy a house or ttc after committing to. At this point I can't wait much longer. DS starts kindy next year and I am desperate to give him a sibling. I just want nothing more than to move forward with our life together.
He is on medication and sees a psych... I just don't know what else to do. I want to be supportive but by giving him more time that means I am the one in daily pain by not being able to have the things I want. We just love each other too much to leave though. Love is so tough.
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16-11-2013 08:35 #901
16-11-2013 10:50 #902
Crafty, Im so sorry your DH has said that, there are two "positives" here please dont be offended by either, they're simply my opinion.
1) I was once told, fighting is good, once you stop fighting it means there is nothing worth fighting for.
2) Its good to discuss these things before bringing a baby into the situation, Its most likely nerves about the "next step". Marriage although its difficult to go through (and think about) can be ended much more easily than than leaving the father of your child and breaking up a family.
Having the huge commitment is terrifying for anyone and your partner might be using bickering as a way of sharing this fear.
My DH and I dont fight often (its just not in his nature) but we did go through this, you do get past it.
16-11-2013 15:34 #903
I hope so. A part of me thinks because his mum and dad were always arguing and he hated it he feels it's not good arguing. I'm the opposite, my mum was a single mum so I never had it around me and I think if you don't argue someone's keeping their mouth shut which isn't healthy. Things are better today at least
16-11-2013 19:46 #904
Crafty - I'm sorry that you guys have been fighting If it helps I don't trust couples that don't fight lol. DF and I fight over stupid things all the time. We have the same core values and beliefs and we want the same things in life so our foundation is the same but there are still little things that creep up and cause issues, we fight and then we move on. It sounds like your DH is just reading too much into it and thinking it means more than it maybe does. I'm glad that things have been better today though
16-11-2013 19:53 #905Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Big hugs crafty xx
Not sure if there is any advice I can give other than to focus on the positives with your DH. Share in the positive moments together and then try to open the lines of communication.
I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this, but try to keep yourself from arguing. If something upsets you try not to say to DH that he upsets you. Try to be calm and explain why you're not feeling 100%. That way he won't feel attacked and lash out. If he lashes out, try to stay calm and look at it from his perspective. Sometimes you have to give a lot more in the relationship. But you then get a lot more out of it.
I hope you get through this and things are much better.
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16-11-2013 20:00 #906
That makes sense. We had a talk today so that helped.i also had a bad headache all day so he went and got me aspro and cold rock . That's always nice.
16-11-2013 23:03 #907
I'm glad you talked and ice cream cures all
We actually had a really good day today too.
I feel if the love is still there, it's worth fighting for...all relationships go through peaks and troughs. I am sure you will get through it this low patch and come out stronger.
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17-11-2013 08:29 #908
Well said! And yes ice cream does cure all. Except the headache is back for a third day. Whyyyyyy lol
17-11-2013 11:11 #909
Wise words Colbie. I couldn't agree more!mmm ice cream specifically Ben and jerrys or connoisseurs!!
40℃ is a stinker mrst. We had the best day yesterday. Hang over city here. I have a bad headache too but self inflicted of course
Ahh its so nice celebrating love with friends it makes everyone so romantic LOL
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17-11-2013 16:59 #910Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Sounds like it was a good night hopefully!
2 of my friends got engaged this weekend! So very exciting! And one was so unexpected!!
I tested at 1am this morning with first response. Turned out to be bfn. But I've only just clocked onto 10dpo. And in my avid googling I've discovered first response requires between 25-100 hcg to work. On average you won't have 100 hcg at 9 or 10dpo.
So I've gone out and bought a more sensitive test to test tomorrow morning.
I never realised I'd be so keen for this TWW to end!
For anyone who hasn't been through this before: try not to think about pregnancy until AF is due! Easier said than done I'm afraid. Especially when you are experiencing so many symptoms. I've convinced myself I'm pregnant. Not the best thing to do because I'll now be crushed if AF arrives on Thursday!
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