How is everyone's weekend?
DP wants to go to the baby and toddler show today, when I asked why she says to me 'I want to hear how these so called experts think they have the answer to all the world problems' lol. I thought that was funny, there's a lady on the program giving a talk on how to go shopping with kids and have fun too, also how to solve all bed time issues.
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12-10-2013 09:02 #301
12-10-2013 09:05 #302
I also think its a coping mechanism. If DF had a miscarriage I would obviously be gutted but knowing me I would also walk into the next one feeling nervous and worried - not excited. It's just how I am. If there is a chance of being hurt or disappointed then I won't let myself think about it or get excited. Of course there is always that chance of something bad happening but if its happened before it just makes it more real and confronting.
Try not to be too sad. He may not be excited when you get your BFP either but it's most likely him just guarding himself from that pain. I would do it more so I could be strong for DF as well. Once the pregnancy is moving along and everything is okay he will start to let those walls down!
Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!
12-10-2013 09:26 #303
Colbie I totally agree with what the other girls have said xo have you tried talking with him about his feelings, they may not pass but I think it would be good for both of you to acknowledge them
12-10-2013 10:40 #304
Thanks for your support girls. We do talk about it and we had a big chat last night. It's just frustrating because the excuses he comes up with for not being ready are 1)always changing and 2) easily fixed or just not logical. For example he said last night he's worried he won't have as much freedom. I mean, we already have a child! Haha. He also said he wants to spend more time with his extended family (up north). He has NEVER says that to me before? I said great, let's go at Christmas, I would love to. He says oh no it's way too hot then. I said okay we will go mid next year, I'm totally happy to, but what difference will it make if I'm preg or not? And he admitted there was no difference and it would be fine.
He says he will just 'know' when he's ready and he will start to get excited then, but I think he's searching for an elusive feeling that he may never reach! I don't think he will truly get excited until we just try!
Anyway it was a good talk and at least he is once again reminded how I feel... I have suggested that we do a few sessions of counselling just for this. We never did after losing bub and I think it will be beneficial, and he agrees, so that's good.
The plan is still to try in January, all going well. I know I should be happy with that, but I guess I just wish he was more positive about the whole thing. It would be so so nice for him to be excited too.
12-10-2013 10:41 #305
12-10-2013 10:43 #306
12-10-2013 10:59 #307
Counselling sounds like a good idea to get some perspective on things if nothing else.
I've never really been big on the expo thing. Never occurred to me to go to a baby one. Only went to one wedding expo and wasn't super interested....
Hanging out with the inlaws today. Lots of kids and a gorgeously ugly baby haha. He's so cute-ugly :-D
Everyone's asking when it's our turn and mil is saying no never haha.
12-10-2013 11:11 #308
Why is MIL saying no never? Usually they're the ones saying tomorrow hahaha. There is a baby expo in Sydney in March and I am super excited to go! Hopefully DF will have a bub on board then too!
Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!
12-10-2013 13:30 #309
Im in sydney colbie.
Ladies I went to the show and got to try the origami. It is awesome and we are definitely going to buy that pram. The whole time I had to keep DP and her cards on a leash, she was seeing way too many deals and just wanted to buy buy buy.
12-10-2013 14:03 #310
Hugs colbie, I hope that at least having a good chat has helped a little. I understand both wanting to protect yourself from more hurt & waiting for the elusive feeling to 'be ready'. Even though we have had a healthy pregnancy since our mmc, we are both still very, very guarded with excitement & talking about the future
Hopefully counselling will help put things into perspective
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