So my doctors have finally realised that my current condition has left me with zero quality of life, suffering depression and bipolar on top of this and I'm stuck in a rut wondering why they can't just put me out of my misery, if I was an animal I would of been put down a long time ago.
A few months ago I put my back out, went and saw a myotherapist who manipulated my hips instead, problem is, I was born with hip dysplasia that was incorrectly treated, he somehow managed to move them from where they had naturally fused and left me in chronic pain since.
After X-rays, ultrasound, cortisone injection and many pain killers I'm no better, of not worse since the injection.
I spend most days in bed, I can't sit or stand for long periods of times, I can't walk far and have a limp. I cant pick anything up off the ground.
I am in pain from my mid spine to mid thighs each and everyday.
I'm on 15mg targin (new age oxy) twice a day, endone and Valium and it still doesn't help. I'm still stuck in bed.
I'm over it, I broke down at the doctors on Saturday after my body started having spasms Friday night and they are finally sending an urgent request to the hospital to get me fixed.
I'm just so over it, no one understands not only what it's like to be in constant pain but just how worthless I feel these days.
I want my life back, I want to enjoy the school holidays with my DD, I want to walk the dogs, go to the park, work!
I'm seriously at breaking point and hate being this burden on everyone.
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01-10-2013 12:50 #1
Zero Quality of Life
01-10-2013 12:52 #2
I don't have any practical advice but just want to give you so many hugs.
I hope the hospital is able to help you, even just reduce the pain to something you can manage.
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01-10-2013 13:08 #3
Hugs, I really feel for you.
I think only someone who lives day in day out in chronic pain could truly understand what you are going through.
My best friend lives with chronic pain daily due to a debilitating back injury. She has had a number of serious operations (fusions, has a metal cage in her back etc) and it's a constant battle for her.
She has a great attitude and puts on a brave face most of the time, but her life has completely changed and she cannot ever work again. There was a point where she was ready to overdose on her medication as she couldn't face living anymore. Thankfully she got herself off to get some urgent help. Still, every day is a struggle.
I hope that an operation can give you a better quality of life, I really do.
01-10-2013 13:45 #4
That sounds so incredibly hard I can't even imagine it. Big, big hugs and I really hope you get the help that you need soon.
01-10-2013 16:03 #5
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01-10-2013 16:20 #6
Many hugs to you. My DH lives with chronic pain after his spine was fractured in a car accident 11.5 years ago. Unfortunately his only options to improve his situation will likely not help with the level of pain. It will just help slow the degeneration of his spine.
I hope your surgical options will help with the pain and give you back your mobility.
01-10-2013 20:05 #7
Thanks for your replies, sorry, I've taken all my bedtime meds so personals are difficult.
It's so hard, I know there are so many people out there worse than me and I suffered for years with a dodgy shoulder but this has me beaten. I've been keeping positive and hiding the tears for so long I just can't anymore, I've never felt so useless.
I saw my doctor again tonight who is sending me off for a CT scan. He's also set up my allied health plan so I can attend Physio while I wait for the hospital to contact me.
There's been so much speculation as to what exactly could be causing the pain, bursitis, impingement, spurs, it will be good to finally know what is going on on there and give me some movement back and no pain.
I am also now coming out in a rash all over my body, doctors aren't sure if its a side affect of the targin or something else but I am so itchy now on top of everything else.
01-10-2013 20:20 #8
I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment. I'm glad things are starting to get moving, I really hope you get some answers soon.
01-10-2013 20:49 #9
Devastating. Im so sorry you are going through this. *so many hugs* :,(
Mumma to two beautiful boys on the spectrum and one special little girl.
01-10-2013 20:55 #10
Gosh that really sucks!!
I sympathize to an extent as I have fibromyalgia and I wake with aches and pains every day. However I am lucky that not all days the pain is bad, more a dull ache. But it does limit what I can do because even if having a good day and I do things eg clean my house I know I'm going to feel it for the next couple of days. But I've gotta just keep on going or who else will do it. Plus I know there's worst off ppl than me. I just really try to find the positives of the day as much as I can.
I really hope you're pushed up to the top and can get into surgery ASAP.
Just know you're not alone and please seek counseling. Gentle hugs!
Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)
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