Are they any things I shouldnt say to a child (5 year old) when trying to explain that someone has passed away?
Any ideas as to what would be the best way to do this?
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 12
01-10-2013 10:29 #1
Death - how do i explain it to a child..
01-10-2013 10:43 #2
Personally I wouldn't liken it to sleeping, and I don't suggest that you will see this person again.
I talk about the cycle of life, all living things eventually die..ie the things that keep them alive, brain, heart etc - stop working.
01-10-2013 10:49 #3
an age appropriate picture/fiction book?
The Following User Says Thank You to My Beloved Ones For This Useful Post:
01-10-2013 11:27 #4
We don't 'sugar coat' death in this house, it is, after all, just part of life, though it is sad when someone we love dies.
So, for us, we use do use words like 'dead', 'death' and 'died' rather than things like 'passed away' or 'sleeping'. We just explained to our children that as you get older, you can get sick and your body doesn't work as well as it used to, so at some point when we're old, every one will die, but that's okay.
When their great nan died a couple of months ago, we went to see her, explained to them that she was very tired and doesn't really talk anymore and that she'd just be laying in the bed because she's sick and that she's going to die, but that they could go and see her, give her a cuddle and tell her that they loved her and that they would miss her. They did.
They were expecting the fact that she would die, they knew what it mean, that she would die, she would have a funeral, she would be buried deep in the ground, in a nice box (keeping it simple) and that her body would eventually become part of the dirt and help things grow, grass, trees, flowers etc. They understood it meant that they wouldn't see her again. Though the 3yo did ask a few times in the following weeks what happened to 'old nanny' and would he see her again, at which time we just reminded him "no buddy, old nanny died, remember?" and he was okay with that
I know it's probably a little bit morbid for some, but death is still such a taboo subject and people feel uncomfortable discussing it, whilst I want my children to be okay with death as part of life. We also explained to them why they don't have a poppy because DH's dad passed away quite a few years ago from being sick, so we explained it all to them, he was sick, and his body was too broken to be fixed so one day, he died, and he was cremated (turned to ash)
As a result, I have 3 children (3, 5, 7) who know about death and are comfortable with it.
01-10-2013 11:37 #5
What about if the person who died is a baby? How do I go about that? Sorry....
Should i just say that the baby was born a bit too early and that he then passed away / died (not sure which one i will use) - but was with his mummy at that time so he was surrounded with love? And they said goodbye and he is now in heaven???
Do you think that would be ok?
01-10-2013 11:51 #6
I think that would be perfect. I always try to be truthful and we dont talk about it as being a bad thing. Its sad and we miss the people who have died but the love is still there. (And being Catholic we talk about Heaven etc).
The Following User Says Thank You to Raising Leprechauns For This Useful Post:
01-10-2013 12:10 #7
I think what youre thinking is perfect.
Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app
The Following User Says Thank You to Niki24 For This Useful Post:
01-10-2013 12:17 #8
Thank you all so much - i know there is no wrong or right way but i have been putting this off because i know she will be devasted so im trying to be gentle - will talk to her tomorrow x thank you
01-10-2013 12:24 #9
01-10-2013 12:26 #10has left the building
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
I had to explain to my 5 year old earlier this year. I told her that the person is question was very old and her body stopped working. I got lots of questions such us - will we see her again, what if she gets lonely or hungry, can we go visit her etc so be prepared for that (I was not and got quite thrown by the questions)
The Following User Says Thank You to MothersMilk For This Useful Post:
By Rarity in forum Discuss ItReplies: 110Last Post: 14-03-2013, 15:16
By Lovemyfam in forum Anti Routine Infant CircumcisionReplies: 73Last Post: 15-11-2012, 14:04
By claudiakathleen in forum Issues with Family MembersReplies: 18Last Post: 12-11-2012, 15:26
Billington StreetFor stationery as unique as you are! ♥ Handmade, custom designed stationery for all of life's celebrations WINNER ...
LATEST7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at homeGuide to government family benefit payments36 tips for long-haul flights with babies and children
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
How long would you leave your 8 (almost 9) year old at home alone?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Missed miscarriage... waiting, waiting, waitingPregnancy Loss Support
Driving after phobia - little driving experience & dealing with toddler yelling/screaAnxiety & Panic Disorders
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat
Demeter Fertility - Dr David Knight?pregnancy and babies through IVF
Financial advisor or accountant?Family Finances
Has anybody's family member or friend set up as a registered carer?Childcare Options