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  1. #1
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    Default Uncoordinated child and continuing in a sport they are not good at .... What to do? N

    My daughter is almost 6 and for the last 2 seasons has done Little Athletics in their Tiny Tots group (from age 3). Lets just say she is not a natural at running, jumping and hurdling! She could have moved up to the bigger ages last year but she not showing quite the improvement so we kept her back. Now her younger brother is starting Tiny Tots and she will be due to move up to where they are competitive in these sports and its not the 'fun' activities she is used to.
    The problem is while we think she won't like this type of level and know she will end up having tantrums from frustration and lose interest she still wants to do it. She has slight issues with meltdowns (which we are booked into see a psychologist soon in part for, but that's another story!) so we are reluctant to let her peruse it. We have suggested that her and I do another activity together like swimming/dance etc and her dad and brother do tiny tots but she was keen to still go. While I am not too fussed to let her continue and learn the hard way and decide herself my husband is adamant that he doesn't want her to do it and she won't like it. He used to do little athletics himself (inc into adulthood) so while I do trust he knows the sport well I can't help but feel he thinks he's going to be embarrassed by her (I know that sounds bad and he hasn't said that but I think it's a possibility)

    What would you do?

  2. #2
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    By the sounds of it, it might be a case of just letting her find out for herself. If you decide for her she may not let it go.

  3. #3
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    If she wants to do it I would let her.

  4. #4
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    Hmm.. are able to take her for a free try out at a different activity? Maybe that will persuade her to want to change?

    I'd be really reluctant to take her back to little athletics if you think you think it will only result in frustration, melt downs, and pulling her out of the activity after you've already presumably paid?
    My DS2 is on the spectrum and is prone to such behaviours. There is no way I would enroll him in a sport that requires a regular and consistent attendance as I know it will result in meltdowns and me being out of pocket.
    If you are however able to pay only on a weekly basis, perhaps let her find out for herself?

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    If she enjoys it, I'd let her do it.

    DD is uncoordinated as anything, so watching her play sporting activities is quite amusing and often ends up with me face-palming while she's not watching. BUT she has fun. That's the main thing.

    I suspect she'll go a few times, have a crap time, and then want to stop anyway... you'll have let her figure that out for herself and I think giving her that freedom to use is probably more important than making sure she doesn't have a meltdown about it at this age.

  6. #6
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    If she wants to pursue it and the only thing stopping you guys allowing it is your DH being embarressed then you need to talk to him about letting her be her and loving her and her unco ways.

    DS was unco (still is a little at times) and we felt the same when he was moving from little kids karate to full classes...he loved it so we let him even though there was def some "face palm" moments lol Now, he has just qualified for the National titles!

    Sometimes, the kids that end up doing the best are the ones that do have to work 3 times as hard as the kid that find it easy and natural. They are used to working hard and they have that drive or they would not still be there.

    let her be her and embrace it! That's all kids want...to be accepted as they are. I am not saying give her heaps of false praise and tell them they are going to be aiming for the Olympics...but just enjoy watching her be her.

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  8. #7
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    Two thoughts:

    * My kids aren't that good at athletics but Little As has really helped their confidence at sports carnivals etc. It's not about winning, just about PBs (except for carnivals) so she may do well. My B is probably our least sporty but regularly wins the Most Improved trophy.

    * My A at 18 has serious mental health issues and she was always an anxious sort of kid. We've always encouraged her to have a crack at things but she has unrealistic expectations of herself which she projects onto us. I'm not sure that "failure" is helpful to kids like that - but then I wonder whether a bit more failure may have helped her resilience!

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    Not athletics here but dancing. DD1 is 8 and loves all her dancing, she takes 6 separate classes a week. Dancing does not love her, however she tries her hardest and has a ball.
    Sorry I can't help with the melt downs though.

  10. #9
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    Thank you all!
    Would you believe that this morning when I told her Little Athletics was on she said (as if I'd be disappointed) "I don't want to go... I don't want to do it anymore"... SO hubby took our son (who had a great time, he had joined in a little last season with her) and my daughter and I looked up some new options on the Internet....
    She ruled out most of my suggestions including scouts/girl guides, martial arts, yoga, kids Zumba (which she did at school and really enjoyed)... She was left with swimming, dancing and skating. She ruled out dancing as she didn't want to do concerts or a specialised type of dance such as tap, jazz etc and she ruled out swimming despite being all for it at first as she realised shed have to learn to put her head under water! So what's left is skating which she has had some interest in since I found a pair at our local Salvos store, even though she is yet to even be able to move in them without me holding her hand, and even then she is all over the place! Lol
    I think I'm in for more dramas with her anxieties about....well....anything she can think of really! Hopefully the psychiatrist in a few weeks can help us with giving her some confidence to try out new things. I don't want to push her and upset her but I think she needs a bit of firmness to get her over that step.....
    Thank you all again, I think I agree with every reply whichever option you took on it! Lol


 

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