It seems like everyone is saying much the same thing...that personality, compatibility etc is crucial to a good relationship, but that considering a person's financial situation, spending habits etc CAN come into the equation and it's not unwise to at least consider these things before making a decision such as moving in, having a baby etc. TBH I wish I'd considered it more carefully with my ex partner, but I was wrapped up in the lovey-dovey phase and just thought such a trivial thing as money wouldn't matter How wrong I was. I will be more aware next time and run a mile from anyone who spends $50/week on cigarettes and has a pile of debts, no matter how nice they are. Because they will drag us down, and after having worked so hard to get us to where we are, I can't afford that It's not to say I would ONLY look at a person's $ situation and rule out anyone who isn't wealthy enough, etc- I'm not that shallow and I doubt many of us truly are- just that it's a factor I'll take into account when I meet someone I like before taking the plunge into a full-on relationship. It if ever happens