i think responsibility with money is important. I would definitely prefer financial stability
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28-09-2013 18:10 #11Senior Member
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- May 2009
28-09-2013 18:47 #12
I guess it's up to an individual to decide what's important to them.
I'm one of those people who sees no real point in having thousands in savings, yet never going on a holiday, etc. I like to use my money... spend it on stuff I want to spend it on. Savings are great in cases of emergency, but for me... owning a house is the least of my priorities. It's DP's... so it'll happen soon enough, but I've never wanted to own my own home.
Finding it out for someone who's a POTENTIAL date as per the title? I'd run a mile if someone who doesn't even know if they're going on a date or not with me wanted to find out that kind of personal info.
28-09-2013 19:02 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
thank you for all your different viewpoints. It is very individual and it is something that can cause emotions to flare if someone feels differently about this sensitive topic.
Thank you for all your input.
Many will look at how caring the person is
many want someone of the same level as them
many have been burnt and will not be careful
many have been burnt and will as priority be careful rather being alone than to risk being brought down financially.
Thank you for the input, and all the individual responses.
28-09-2013 19:36 #14
The home ownership, I don't think it's fair to judge that as many people who do own property bought it with a partner not on their own - so it's not at all a clear sign if financial success.
The job- changing, yes that would worry me. Do you mean completely different careers/job types every few years? Or different industries but similar job category?
As for money responsibility/savings, I'd just ask in conversation if they have any savings and/or do they consider themselves financially responsible? I don't think there's anything wrong with asking that.
28-09-2013 19:59 #15
I kinda hear where you're coming from. My ex never went to uni or had any real qualifications so was in and out of so many different jobs. He had no financial sense whatsoever. Never had savings, never had a mortgage or any tangible assets and spent money on frivolous things when he owed money to others. While our finances were separate, I was still financially crippled when the relationship ended.
I didn't know any of this beforehand and I'm not sure if I did whether it would change my view on him. Knowing beforehand that he was emotionally manipulative with a completely f*cked up family and view of family would have.
My DH wasn't fantastic with money and still isn't. He had virtually no savings when we got together and our home loan deposit was basically due to the money I had saved. However he is the sweetest, funniest, kindest, most loving man. I didn't marry him for his money. We have mutual goals and are working together to reach them.
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28-09-2013 20:10 #16
Also I would much rather someone who is renting but has 000's on a savings account rather than a home "owner" when it's actually the bank owing 80% of said house...
28-09-2013 20:33 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
I suppose you could get yourself on the seeking millionaire, or elite introductions dating lists? From friends that are in the dating circles, you have to have something to offer yourself, like a career, interests, certain attitudes/aptitudes. But there are career driven, well financed men out there that use these agencies to filter women too. Never had the need to use them so I can't speak from any personal experience about what they are like. One friend (a top Female CEO) says she feels she meets a better quality of men for her standards than just using general online dating sites, but she also says, as per usual, there are the ashwhats who think just because they are financially sound, or doin well in their careers that they are gods gift to women.
06-10-2013 00:35 #18
Sounds to me like you're just not that into him.
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06-10-2013 06:04 #19
Don't be too surprised if you end up alone because you have scared off every guy because you wanted to know his financial situation right away.
06-10-2013 09:57 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I was very cautious going back into the dating scene. As I bought my husband out of my family home. He left when my son was 18 months old, I was working 2 days a week. I increased my days to four days a week so that I could get a mortgage but having done that and pay child care, bills etc. I was left with $40 a fortnight to feed us and buy nappies. I quickly toilet trained my son.
I knew that I would need to earn more money or this would kill me. I went back five days the year before he went to school. I tried hard at getting a promotion, and eventually got the promotion I needed so that I could provide luxuries for my son. I was overjoyed the year I took him to Queensland on our first holiday. I saved for a new bathroom, as the old one was leaking.
After 7 years on my own, and feeling financially secure and independent I felt I was ready to share my life with someone but them being financially secure was my priority as I didn't want to go backwards after all my sacrifice.
I found someone, an accountant lol, who lived with his parents at 40 who was just as cautious as me, and we are now living together, in a house we built together. We are hoping to expand our family... We miscarried last year and I am hoping this pregnancy is a sticky baby. You aren't being picky. Financial security is important, it helps us move forward without worry. Believe me I have gone weeks with little sleep due to worrying about money. You don't want that pressure in a relationship as well.
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