I am petrified of SIDS. I wasnt so much with ds but with bringing dd home I am so scared. It's all fueled by dp and smoking. His smoking has become more apparent to me since dd has been home and I cringe everytime he goes near her. I don't understand how he can know the risk but still smoke........
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25-09-2013 18:39 #1
**vent** dp and smoking
25-09-2013 18:48 #2
My ex DH was the same and it caused many many arguments
25-09-2013 19:01 #3
Does he change his top and brush his teeth before he holds her?
25-09-2013 19:05 #4
Yep, same problem here with DH...
25-09-2013 19:15 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
I know what you mean. Our compromise is he has a shower as soon as he gets home from work. Depending on what he is doing he either has a beer and smoke when he gets home or sometimes not a smoke until just before bed- another shower then.
It is an addiction. It drives me CRAZY but I tell myself this (it's an adddiction) and hope one day he will overcome it. Doesn't help much!
25-09-2013 19:28 #6
Glad to know I'm not the only one! He doesn't wash his hands etc after just walks in......drives me nuts. I only got out of hosp 2 days ago from having a csection so I am in no mood/time to have an argument about it....
25-09-2013 19:28 #7
I feel the same way OP. I'm not holding my tongue like I used to, I'm speaking up.
25-09-2013 19:36 #8
After smoking he would wash his hands and wouldn't bath or hold them right after. IF he had to hold them, he would change his top.
I don't think a chewy is good enough (dh used to say this) as the 'smoke' is still exhaling from the lungs regardless if they had a chewy or not.
25-09-2013 20:52 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
You need to put your foot down for the sake of your child. If it was me, I would be telling him straight out that if he didn't start making a reasonable effort to quit, then I wouldn't be allowing him to be around my child. But, we are a smoke-free household and I know I would never have this issue with my DF.
We do however have this rule for everyone who sees DS... NO ONE is allowed near him after having a smoke. If a smoker wanted to visit us they would be told to be showered and in clean clothes when they arrived and not to smoke until they leave. No exceptions. And even that would make me uncomfortable because it has been proven that the chemicals stay in your skin and hair for ages, even after washing. I can't imagine having my baby around a smoker all the time.
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25-09-2013 21:15 #10
Does he want to quit?
How about patches?
Otherwise instead of not going near the baby at all, (which is an unrealistic approach) just insist on the showers, change of clothes after a cigaret. I assume your Dh works, so he might have a ciggy after work, shower, dinner, you put baby to bed then he can have another ciggy?
I don't smoke, but I've seen my dh try to quit, it looked hard!
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