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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by WinterIsComing View Post
    This must be a difficult sitatuion for you. I'd be getting your DP to have a talk to her about the DS. Nintendo 3DS's arent cheap! I wouldnt be giving her birthday money and be telling her that her birthday money has gone towards your DS's NEW Nintendo 3DS. Sorry but shes 17, she knows better and next year she can be arrested as an adult and jailed for stealing, she needs to pull her head in imo.
    DH and i have spoken about the birthday money and we will not be giving it to her...and you're right at 18 she can be arrested and jailed...she has to pull her head in now.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenga View Post
    There is no way in hell she would be getting birthday money. She should be told it will be going towards replacing the ds she stole. Did she not receive any punishment for stealing the ds or anything else she has stolen? It sounds like a severe lack of discipline & she knows she will get away with it. I agree with the others that the bio parents (or all 4 of you) need to work together to address this, unfortunately at 17 it may be hard to pull her into line if she hasn't had the discipline earlier.
    Jenga...a week before this happened we all went to a baby shower. she was caught stealing by her own father. after my DH approached her about the incident she immediately posted on facebook that he had abused her mentally and physically..which is totally untrue.

  3. #13
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    When I was 11 I stole $50 from my cousin. No idea why. Mum and dad got their mate who was a cop to come and talk to me. Scared the crap out of me, but worked! At 17 she knows damn well what she's doing and she really needs to be held accountable for her actions. I wouldn't report her to the police of course, but i would consider getting their youth liaison officer to discuss the consequences of stealing from others, especially at her age.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    This. Exactly.
    OP.. Is it possible she is doing drugs? I'm not assuming and don't want to freak you out.. Just wondering if she may be.
    The thought has crosssed my mind..she's very messed up at the moment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anotherbubba View Post
    Jenga...a week before this happened we all went to a baby shower. she was caught stealing by her own father. after my DH approached her about the incident she immediately posted on facebook that he had abused her mentally and physically..which is totally untrue.
    That's a very tough situation but she still needs discipline even if she makes up lies. Sounds like she might be acting out or maybe she is doing drugs? Hopefully she can change her ways before she is charged but the adults need to pull her up on it & not be afraid by her reaction.

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    Honestly, I would be offering her some support ( letting her know that you are there for her etc ) But if she behaves like this anymore that she isn't to come around.

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    I would be backing up your husband...but, it really is up to him and her mum.

    I know you have been around for a long time but sometimes, the discipline really has to stop with "mum and dad".

    I would be sitting with your DH and making a list of the issues and then helping him come up with consequences. He needs to get bio mum on board and they need to be consistent!

    Lot's of kids go through stages of stealing...but stealing a younger siblings 3DS is a huge thing! She needs to apolgise and make amends.

    If they don't get anywhere with her...i would suggest some family counselling for them...and if it goes well then you and step dad to be included too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HowCrazyCool View Post
    Honestly, I would be offering her some support ( letting her know that you are there for her etc ) But if she behaves like this anymore that she isn't to come around.

    I have to strongly disagree with this.

    Would you kick your child out of home if they went through a rough patch? If not, then how can you suggest the child's father tells HIS child she is not welcome in his home. It would be incredibly damaging.

    Clearly, something is going on with this girl and she needs help and support...yes, consequences...but rejection is not going to help on any level.

  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    I have to strongly disagree with this.

    Would you kick your child out of home if they went through a rough patch? If not, then how can you suggest the child's father tells HIS child she is not welcome in his home. It would be incredibly damaging.

    Clearly, something is going on with this girl and she needs help and support...yes, consequences...but rejection is not going to help on any level.
    The problem is the op's son has to be protected.

    There is ways to support without her coming into the house where the op's son is without her being rejected

  12. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
    The problem is the op's son has to be protected.

    There is ways to support without her coming into the house where the op's son is without her being rejected

    She did something stupid and stole something.

    Again, if an older child stole something from a younger one...would you kick them out...or would you look for a solution.

    I hate that step kids are "optional"...it is her dad and his house should be as her home...not somewhere she can be banned from for making a silly teenage mistake.

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