just after advice as to what I should do...or what you would do.
At the start of this year I started a new job.... I had made a small group of friends and we got along well...
I was assigned to work on a project with two girl who went to school together and have been great friends.. all was good... as soon as we were assigned the project we exchanged contact details to work together...
I tried multiple times to contact them on the numbers provided and they didn't respond, whenever I spoke to them at work they would not discuss the project,
I spoke to my boss about this and she said just keep trying.....
I decided to add them on fb to try to discuss the project.... which I did... and they started blasting me about not doing any work for it.... which I had tried to but they wouldn't talk to me....
Anyway once the project was completed and the conference was over the two girls decided to rip me to shreds infront of all our colleagues and boss..... saying how usless I am and that I did nothing and im pathetic etc....
fast forward 7 months and im in a different department but we still see each other around.. and they also have to deal with my new colleagues... anyway
Ive caught them on multiple times saying horrible things about the type of person I am and laughing and putting me down.. they then smile at me while doing it....
Im just wondering weather next time i hear them talking about me if i should say something... or if i should just ignore it and let them keep letting them destroy my image...... thinking about changing job but theres not that many job opportunities in my field here.
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20-09-2013 21:46 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
bullying in work place advice
20-09-2013 21:49 #2
If I were you I'd speak to the supervisor/manager. Detail all incidents. Be clear when you are informing them of what they are doing and saying.
ETA, don't say anything to the two girls. You're better then them, don't stoop to their level.
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20-09-2013 21:50 #3
I would keep a diary about it. Then make a complaint in writing to a supervisor.
They sound extremely immature.
20-09-2013 22:56 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
I'm studying human resources at the moment & it sounds like you could potentially have grounds for workplace bullying.
Make sure that you keep record of EVERYTHING they do. Report it to a supervisor & keep record of who you have spoken to... If they don't do anything about it they can be held vicariously liable for the actions of their employees - (especially if they knew about it & it wasn't dealt with properly)
If they contact you through email or text make sure you take print screens & save anything & everything.
Do not react to them, do not say anything, do not do anything that could be possibly used against you later on.
I would strongly advise not to leave your job... It would be unfair for you to lose a position in a field that's hard to get work in... Just because of a couple of b's. Take it further & you will hopefully get it sorted. Xx
Last edited by cassieh; 21-09-2013 at 06:23.
20-09-2013 23:25 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
My background is HR and I've dealt with a few of these issues. Sorry to hear this is happening as it's very stressful.
The first step is to find out your company's policy on harassment and bullying. It will detail the process that you need to go through to raise the issue. A typical process is
1. Talk to the person directly and let them know the behaviour is unwelcome. (Lots of people skip this step as it's just too uncomfortable.)
2. Raise the complaint with your manager.
3. Take the complaint to HR.
Others have suggested documenting everything, and that is absolutely correct. I also suggest keeping your boss involved and telling him/her what is going on. Dealing with bullies is unpleasant and you need an ally. I'd also be having an informal chat with HR just to get a clear understanding of how your company handles bullying. You don't need to lodge a formal complaint to get some "off the record" advice.
Make sure you keep us posted so we can help you along the way if you need it.
21-09-2013 05:47 #6
The three steps that cdro mentioned above are the best approach and are usually in a bullying policy (remember bullying is not the same as harassment). And definitely document everything.
I am a bit confused as to why you would need contact numbers for your colleagues to work on a project, or would contact them via FB. Wouldn't you just see them at work and do the project in work hours?
Although you def need to tell them to stop their behaviour next time it happens, if what you have said is true then you still need to talk to your manager and/or HR next week. If they think its appropriate they will investigate and take action if warranted.
Good luck - not pleasant.
21-09-2013 05:48 #7
Also, you said they ripped you to shreds in front of your boss and others a few months ago? What happened after that? Surely some action would have been taken??
21-09-2013 07:00 #8Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Upper Mt Gravatt
I would definitely support the comment from Cdro and treat that as the way to move forward from a work perspective, so my response is a bout you and your response. Also, if you have a smart phone there is an app that you can load that allows you to record talks on the phone and sound around you.
One of the most important things to remember about bullies and bullying is that it (ALWAYS) comes from a position of fear and insecurity. These 2 people that you are discussing sound like bullies and so their bullying and behaviour is communication about their fears and self-image. If they think about you at all, and I doubt that they do, it is as either as a perceived threat or as a way to bolster their own low self image and ego. I have spent most of the last 30 years looking at aggression and violence and how to prevent it, so have some ideas on the subject.
Low self-esteem and poor self-image almost always come to the surface when bullies are being looked at. This can happen at home or during schooling but these people are more to be pitied than feared. This does not mean I suggest tolerating them at all, but am saying that be aware that this is very unlikely to be about you or anything to do with you. You are simply a convenient way to bolster their own ego's.
The most important issue for you to deal with personally is to find a way to stop these people affecting your self image. There are a number of ways to do that and lots of other people would be much better at that then me. There are a number of support groups and websites for people being bullied and I would suggest getting in touch. Make sure you get the support and encouragement that you need!!
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