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  1. #1
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    Default When there is no family or friends....

    would you/did you find it hard to bring up your children when they were babies/toddlers/young kids without the help and support of friends and family being close by?
    No one to rely on, no one to cry with, no one to give you a break.
    Luckily my DH is fantastically hands on when he is home. We are best friends.


    i found it increadibly hard not living close by to my mum when i had my first baby. On the good side, i do not take her for advantage, she will drop everything in a heartbeat to babysit but it has to be planned months in advance for airfares ect. however, sometimes its just not worth all the trouble.
    if i want to socialise, i have to seek for it myself.
    Being alone whith my dh who works for the two of us and then some, while raising my children has made me a strong independant woman. sometimes i envy others who have family and friends to surround them. A mum who just 'pop's in for a cuppa' or being able to go to "nanna's house" when the kids are bored...and me too!! a friend who brings their kids over for a playdate. Another friend who will mind the kids so i can go to my dr's appt/hair appt alone.
    Yah, that would be nice as.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Lakey For This Useful Post:

    Aanya  (20-09-2013)

  3. #2
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    I have a mum nearby but I don't have many close friends and only one who ever bothers to come over...I always have to make most of the effort..

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    I was effectively estranged from my mother when I had my son and while I had friends nearby, none of them had children. My sister lived interstate which made it hard.

    I joined a mother's group because I was lonely and it was the best thing ever. Over four years later I still have two best friends from it.

    We helped each other out emotionally and practically whenever we could.

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    Amen sister! It's so hard but I moved to Oz so my son could have a good life it's made me strong too but it doesn't make it any easier! Your not alone x

  6. #5
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    My dh and I both don't have any family and we just rely on eachother. It can get very tough at times. I get jealous hearing other kids get to go to nana's, aunt's, uncle's etc and it hurts me my kids don't have that. We just have to make do with the support we have and sometimes it can be very lonely. That is why I love bubhub

  7. #6
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    i have my kids involed in playgoups. im out and about doing a fair bit socially for them. my mother's group didnt work out, unfortunately we all just stopped contacting eachother after only a few mths.
    it's me mostly, that feels so lonley. im returning back to work next year, how i wish my kids could go to family but they will be in creche
    Turning down work functions because we have no one to have our kids will turn me into an outcast. (i dont trust/feel right about babysitters).
    im lucky that my daughter is very outgoing and makes friends easily. we will be at a park and she will see another little person and go play with them. i am glad being without family and friends hasnt affected her socially.
    Downside - my kids dont erally know our families but are fine with them when we all get togethr on birthdays/christmas ect.
    Do kids just know who's family? my dd see's my sister once in a blue moon yet they act as if they see eachother everyday when they are together.

    I know all about only relying on eachother.
    Last edited by Lakey; 20-09-2013 at 13:08.

  8. #7
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    I would suggest getting involved in something in the community that will build your network of friends.

    Churches and sporting clubs are generally ideal for this, but I am sure there are many other areas of interest that can do the same if neither of those two appeal to you.

    PS: I didn't join these things to develop a network of friends, but getting my children involved in the community was part of the reason. A side benefit was other people willing to help out when needed.

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    its hard. Sometimes its lonely. It generally means you have to sacrifice alot. We live away from all of our family. The closest relative is 2500kms away. I have oe or two friends who i hardly see and i am lucky that when DP is home he is very supportive.

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    All of our family is interstate and I don't have any close friends. I struggled to start with but I'm involved in a mothers group which helps a bit. We've also just finished trialling a babysitter so that we can have some us time occasionally. I spend a lot of time wandering around shops because I cant bear to spend all day at home.

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    I'm very much in the same position as you op though I don't have any parents. It's just me and dh with 7 month old dd.
    Lately I've been struggling to coke to terms with it as I feel like my dd won't have anyone :-( the only family I have is a sister who lives 4 hrs away with my two nieces and I rarely get to see them as she has to cone down when she gets the time coz dd would not last 4 hrs in the car. I have in-laws but they don't help me and can go a month without calling to see how their granddaughter is... Very selfish ppl. I'm lucky I have dh, it has made us a good team and appreciate each other. I get upset over not having anyone to call in on also, more for dd sake. I've tried to organize a group of ppl together with babies but everyone seems too busy to get back to me

    Sent from my HTC Sensation XL with Beats Audio X315b using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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