My 21 month DD will be a big sister in November- she will be just 2yrs. I'm worried she will find the transition really really hard. I have done all the things i should like talking to her about mummy's tummy, the new baby brother, books, and involving her as much as possible. She has baby dolls which she loves and is very gentle and caring toward so im sure she will be fine eventually.
But the problem is if I hold a friends baby she freaks out and cries inconsolably - in reality I think she is going to be extremely jealous. Even if the cat sits on my knee in the evening she starts crying and pushing the cat off.
Does anyone have any tips or ideas of more i can do? Or is it just a matter of waiting to see what she is like?
I really want to her enjoy her new brother!
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20-09-2013 07:22 #1
Preparing a toddler for a new baby
20-09-2013 07:29 #2
I fear this a bit myself (or when I'm actually pregnant I will haha), but I have had friends in the past who have bought a new baby doll for their little ones and they get them to sit down and feed them/change their babies nappies etc at the same time they are doing it, so that they are occupied with their own little bub.
My sister always bought a gift for her eldest boy/s from the new baby and that worked well because they thought that maybe this new little person wasnt so bad after all for giving them a present.
I would just continue to involve her as much as possible. Maybe there is a book available out there that covers what is happening? As in a book that is aimed at toddlers who are getting a new sibling, so you could read it to her?
I'm a bit of a freak and always read to my ds in my belly and sung songs.. I dont know if it'd help, but maybe you could ask her to sing nursery rhymes with you to the baby in your belly?
Hope it all goes ok!
20-09-2013 07:41 #3
My son was EXACTLY the same! When ever I held a baby he would freak out!!
When I had dd she was in hospital for 4 weeks.. It was so hard on ds that I thought it would make it worse, but when we got home he was so fine!!
He loves her so much and we all have cuddles every morning in his room and we all start the day together.
He wasn't jealous at all., she looks just like him, maybe it's that?
He knows he is a big brother and calls her 'sister' or 'my sister'
I hope your little one adjusts well., its hard, but you will be fine!!!
I also called her Ella from the moment I knew it was a girl.. That helped cause he knew the name (I said it a lot!!!)
20-09-2013 21:17 #4
That's a good idea, I'll get her to sing to my belly! I know she eventually love being a sister, it just breaks my heart when she is so upset seeing me with a baby (or our cat!). I like the idea of giving her some gifts from the baby too.
It's great to hear Adden, that your DS is coping so well after behaving the same as my DD.. It gives me hope!
20-09-2013 21:28 #5
Another big thing we found was making sure the eldest still got attention.
My DS was 2 when his little brother was born.
One day when some family came around to see us, everyone was milling around the new baby and DS1 was slightly on the outer, looking up and wondering why no one was giving him attention.
Luckily DH noticed and scooped him up and distracted him from thinking he was being ignored for the new baby.
Small things like that helped.
We also did the present from the baby, and he met DS2 a few hours after birth, only the four of us. His Grandmother brought him in, but left so we could have some private bonding time.
After your second is born, make sure you take some time out in the first couple of weeks to have one on one time with your first. I took DS to the park. They need to know you are still there and available to them.
20-09-2013 21:29 #6
PS my DS would lose his sh!t when I held another baby. No problems when DS2 came out though.
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