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  1. #61
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    We've decided to not text back right now. We don't want to even feel pressured to respond on their timeline. We are really wary of being too cooperative, those of you with family like this will know that even a response can be taken as an admission of us being in the wrong/them thinking they can controll and dictate everything. Yes it is that screwed up!

    Dh has called his psychologist and asked to move his session up to chat to him about how this has made him feel and see what he suggests. Crossing my fingers he returns dh's call soon and can fit him in asap so we can stop stressing about it.

    It sounds really harsh, but our instinct at the moment is to just 100% ignore them, until we are ready to deal with them. If at all. All you PP's who have said that it will never change are so so right. We have tried everything, we have been firm on our boundaries, we have explained to them the issues and told them what we are able to cope with on our terms. They won't accept anything except 100% control and 100% access whenever they want. Don't think it matters how much breath we waste explaining or discussing. They won't accept it and this will just keep on happening. Only scary thing about no response is them turning up/sending people here hysterical. Dh says he doesn't care. If they try he'll tell them to f*** off! Doesn't help when he is at work and I'm here alone. I just might not answer the door!

    Thanks for the hugs everyone. I return them 10 fold to anyone who has been in this sort of situation. It is the worst.

    I'll keep you all posted!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

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  3. #62
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    I don't think that sounds harsh at all. Good luck and stand your ground x

  4. #63
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    Good on you. Do not answer the door. No good can come of it if you are home alone. Be strong.


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

  5. #64
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    Ok so not responding has led to them getting dh's frail elderly 90 year old grandparents involved. I got a letter from his Nanna getting me in trouble for not visiting them enough and not being nice to the family.

    So over it.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  6. #65
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    Gee they are bullies. How dare they. Just be done with them all. It's their loss. Big hugs.


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

  7. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Ok so not responding has led to them getting dh's frail elderly 90 year old grandparents involved. I got a letter from his Nanna getting me in trouble for not visiting them enough and not being nice to the family.

    So over it.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    I think your DH needs to address this, or it will keep snow balling. He needs to send them a letter, ring them, email them, clearly saying due to their unstable crazy behaviour your family will no longer be having any contact with them. And saying they are not to make any contact of any kind with you.

  8. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I think your DH needs to address this, or it will keep snow balling. He needs to send them a letter, ring them, email them, clearly saying due to their unstable crazy behaviour your family will no longer be having any contact with them. And saying they are not to make any contact of any kind with you.
    I agree. Your DH needs to stand up, lay down the law, and enforce boundaries. You should not have to worry about Nanas letter, it's your hubby's job to manage it. Just ignore it and your maturity will shine though, others will see it. Get caught up in the drama and you'll just be one of them.

  9. #68
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    That's really unfair of them.

    Keep your integrity and don't do anything mean or wish them any ill (I'm not suggesting you would btw).

    If dh speaks to them over this I'd actually get him to say that he intercepted the letter b4 u had a chance to see it, and that he was addressing their behavior without you knowing that he was doing so. That way they know HE is as p1ssed at them as what they think you are.

    I found this the only way to deal with my ILs. It wasn't till he went to them himself and said that it had all gone way too far that they began to pay attention.

  10. #69
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    Thanks guys.

    We have been thinking the same thing. Dh was going to call and rip into them, but we decided to cool off before we did that and then we thought something written is better. He is going to start drafting tonight.

    I just hate that they are running around slandering us to everyone and making us look horrible. We need to stop caring, I know, but it means the loss of family that we DO like and were somewhat close to. It is so sad that they clearly will use anyone and anything to try make us do what they want.

    Ok that's it. Pity party over!! (Till their next stunt...) Trying to focus on the fact that this too will pass.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  11. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Thanks guys.

    We have been thinking the same thing. Dh was going to call and rip into them, but we decided to cool off before we did that and then we thought something written is better. He is going to start drafting tonight.

    I just hate that they are running around slandering us to everyone and making us look horrible. We need to stop caring, I know, but it means the loss of family that we DO like and were somewhat close to. It is so sad that they clearly will use anyone and anything to try make us do what they want.

    Ok that's it. Pity party over!! (Till their next stunt...) Trying to focus on the fact that this too will pass.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    Be careful about your hubby writing a letter. That could be engaging in their nonsense and they will pour over every word, misinterpret, and spread it around.


 

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