+ Reply to Thread
Page 28 of 43 FirstFirst ... 18262728293038 ... LastLast
Results 271 to 280 of 429
  1. #271
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,165
    Thanks
    2,773
    Thanked
    2,283
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    At this point I would consider a restraining order. Omg.

  2. #272
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    150
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked
    69
    Reviews
    0
    I feel so sad for you! It sounds like they have boundary issues & treat you both like children rather than adults with your own baby.

    It's nice that they wanted to celebrate with your daughter but the way they did it was deceitful & rude to exclude you. This is your baby, yes it's their grandchild but it's your child.

    I don't think you are being unreasonable asking for space or privacy particularly at such momentous stages in your lives which you want to experience when you plan to. I would stand your ground, be honest & tell your IL's that you are happy they want to be there for your daughter but they need to respect your decisions as parents & let you plan the parties & share the photos.

  3. #273
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,824
    Thanks
    3,837
    Thanked
    3,890
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by LilCritter View Post
    I feel so sad for you! It sounds like they have boundary issues & treat you both like children rather than adults with your own baby.

    It's nice that they wanted to celebrate with your daughter but the way they did it was deceitful & rude to exclude you. This is your baby, yes it's their grandchild but it's your child.

    I don't think you are being unreasonable asking for space or privacy particularly at such momentous stages in your lives which you want to experience when you plan to. I would stand your ground, be honest & tell your IL's that you are happy they want to be there for your daughter but they need to respect your decisions as parents & let you plan the parties & share the photos.
    There is way more to it than that. Its a long read but you need to read it all to understand the whole story. ordinarily I would agree with you though

  4. #274
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    817
    Thanks
    155
    Thanked
    249
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Move to Perth with me!

    We can swap MIL stories!

    Do they know what hospital you're delivering in? I would ensure that the hospital does not divulge any info to anyone.

    I mean really, it's fairly simple to bypass the midwives station at most hospitals, and if they lie about who they are theyll easily get into the room.

    And keep your doors locked at home so that you have no unexpected visitors once bub has arrived.
    Sounds like a plan- Perth might just be far enough away considering it is literally the opposite side of the country!!

    In our town their is only one hospital you can birth at. That's why I've made sure they don't know my due date, and won't be informed when bub is born and no public announcements will be made. They just 100% can't be trusted and I agree with you- midwives can be bypassed and their job isn't to play security guards. Omg I didn't even think about them lying about who they are to get in- they'd totally just say they were a member of my family!!! Yikes! Hopefully them
    not knowing about the birth, and hopefully I'll be getting my vbac and can discharge within a few hours, will mean they don't get a chance to come up at all. Maybe we just need to say absolutely no visitors that my hubby doesn't walk in personally? That way, if we haven't been contacted for permission first and texted when they areive, noone gets in??

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to rach85 For This Useful Post:

    Seoul  (11-12-2013)

  6. #275
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    13,067
    Thanks
    9,846
    Thanked
    12,964
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    . Maybe we just need to say absolutely no visitors that my hubby doesn't walk in personally? That way, if we haven't been contacted for permission first and texted when they areive, noone gets in??
    That's what I would do....

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (11-12-2013),PurpleButterfly4  (12-12-2013)

  8. #276
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    817
    Thanks
    155
    Thanked
    249
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by LilCritter View Post
    I feel so sad for you! It sounds like they have boundary issues & treat you both like children rather than adults with your own baby.

    It's nice that they wanted to celebrate with your daughter but the way they did it was deceitful & rude to exclude you. This is your baby, yes it's their grandchild but it's your child.

    I don't think you are being unreasonable asking for space or privacy particularly at such momentous stages in your lives which you want to experience when you plan to. I would stand your ground, be honest & tell your IL's that you are happy they want to be there for your daughter but they need to respect your decisions as parents & let you plan the parties & share the photos.
    Yep- done all that. Continuously ignored, and they do whatever they want in any situation at any given time. In fact they told us our decision as parents would not be respected because they were 'abnormal' and akin to 'court ordered custody agreements'. These people are not normal, unfortunately normal things that would work with normal people have no chance

    You are so right about treating us like children instead of adults with our own family. They have no idea

  9. #277
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    817
    Thanks
    155
    Thanked
    249
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Mind you- the 'court ordered custody agreements' referred to asking that they call before they come and not come after 5....


    They and the extended family wrote us an abusive letter saying they all (dh's parents/grandparents/aunties/uncles/cousins) should all have keys and 24/7 access to our home and baby.... That is 22 people!!!!!! Free rein with dd when they were here too.

  10. #278
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    13,067
    Thanks
    9,846
    Thanked
    12,964
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Mind you- the 'court ordered custody agreements' referred to asking that they call before they come and not come after 5....


    They and the extended family wrote us an abusive letter saying they all (dh's parents/grandparents/aunties/uncles/cousins) should all have keys and 24/7 access to our home and baby.... That is 22 people!!!!!! Free rein with dd when they were here too.
    Far out. I freaked when my parents dropped hints about wanting a key (they live interstate if they come to visit and we aren't home to let them in). I gave them the key to the main door but not the screen door. So if I know they are coming I can leave the screen door unlocked. No way in hell the extended family will be getting keys!

  11. #279
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Mind you- the 'court ordered custody agreements' referred to asking that they call before they come and not come after 5....


    They and the extended family wrote us an abusive letter saying they all (dh's parents/grandparents/aunties/uncles/cousins) should all have keys and 24/7 access to our home and baby.... That is 22 people!!!!!! Free rein with dd when they were here too.
    If i were you i would take that letter to your local Court (Magistrates' Court in Victoria - not sure what state you are in) and apply for an intervention order. You will get an interim order straight away excluding them from your house. Also an order that they not contact you by telephone, email etc (whatever you specify). Enough is enough, surely.
    Last edited by shelle65; 11-12-2013 at 08:34.

  12. #280
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    7,242
    Thanks
    5,043
    Thanked
    3,638
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    1000 posts in a week500 Posts in a week
    750 Posts in a week400 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/2/15Busiest Member of the Week300 posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    If i were you i would take that letter to your local Court (Magistrates' Court in Victoria - not sure what state you are in) and apply for an intervention order. You will get an interim order straight away excluding them from your house. Also an order that they not contact you by telephone, email etc (whatever you specify). Enough is enough, surely.
    I think it's time for getting an intervention order if DH is truly set in cutting them out of your lives. Also, as a matter of course, always leave your security screen locked (we live in a crappy suburb, so I can't even fathom ever having it unlocked lmao) so there'll be no more barging in from family members in the future.

    As for the key situation...WTF?!?! They really are insane, aren't they!!! How is it even marginally appropriate for random extended family members to have keys to YOUR house? Do they think your family should live in some kind of commune or something? Also, it would be five seconds fly before BIL would have keys to your house in that scenario, no doubt they don't think he should be excluded from the key sharing situation!

  13. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Apple iPhart6 For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (11-12-2013),Meld85  (11-12-2013),PurpleButterfly4  (12-12-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Upsetting: Illigal immigrant planning attack
    By Lovemyfam in forum News & Current Affairs
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 09-12-2013, 10:09
  2. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-05-2013, 18:31
  3. Feels like a dream
    By Myztiks#1Fan in forum General Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 30-01-2013, 09:32

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Swim AustraliaSwim Australia are the leading learn-to-swim experts, and national swim school authority. With over 600 Registered Swim ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
❤Joyous June/July TTC!❤Conception & Fertility General Chat
When did you finish working?Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
Vasectomy Reversal - Melb/VICConception issues & ttc
Same Sex Parents TTC #5Same Sex Parents
The fear in pregnancyPregnancy & Birth General Chat
Avoid name due to po@n star?Choosing Baby Names
What would you do to come up moneyGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›