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  1. #111
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    You are very welcome. I hope I've made some sense and not just blabbered on LoL

    There is nothing worse than having horrible IL's, and being expected to just 'suck it up!' because they are the parents of your partner and grandparents of your kids.

    I look at it this way. Would a friend tolerate that kind of nonsense from your IL's? Probably not, they would run a mile! It took me a few years to put some healthy boundaries in place with my smother-in--laws, but once the worst was over things are much better now.

    I wish the best for you, keep us updated! Good luck x

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    rach85  (30-09-2013)

  3. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    You are very welcome. I hope I've made some sense and not just blabbered on LoL

    There is nothing worse than having horrible IL's, and being expected to just 'suck it up!' because they are the parents of your partner and grandparents of your kids.

    I look at it this way. Would a friend tolerate that kind of nonsense from your IL's? Probably not, they would run a mile! It took me a few years to put some healthy boundaries in place with my smother-in--laws, but once the worst was over things are much better now.

    I wish the best for you, keep us updated! Good luck x
    Thanks so much and soooo true It is the worst and 'smother-in-laws'= EXACTLY!

    I'll keep you all updated, dh sees his psych this arvo to work out the next step so something will be happening later today....

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    Cicho  (30-09-2013)

  5. #113
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    The sh1t hit the fan so bad. MIL decided she had to talk to us so repeatedly texted and called us repeatedly on every phone number we have (mobiles and home phones). We made the mistake of responding and saying 'we don't want to talk right now, we have tried in the past and it doesn't work'. She is now completely hysterical and we are literally taking cover in our locked house waiting for her to bang on the front door.

    Everyone cross your fingers she doesn't. I'm scared she will wake up and scare DD. I'm already terrified!! The texts and repeated phone calls. Omg


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
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    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  6. #114
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    Turn the mobiles off and house phone off the hook or better still go stay at a motel overnight. My thoughts are with you both.

  7. #115
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    Turn the lights off and let the phones ring out on silent and just go to bed. If she does turn up well you have an excuse to lose the plot yourself and hopefully your dh will send her on her way. Don't invite her in. Have the conversation outside.


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

  8. #116
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    You and hubby have to be strict! Very strict in setting boundaries and sticking to them. I wouldn't have responded via text like you guys did. That's just engaging her. Same thing as when a toddler is having a fit.. Arguing and negotiating with them will get you nowhere. I suppose you already know that though.

    My parents occasionally try the multiple contact method thing (mobile, house phone, Skype, Facebook, back to mobile). I ignore them. My theory is if someone calls me once they can leave a message and Based on that I will decide when to return the call. If someone tries more than one communication mean without leaving a message I automatically refuse to pick up.

    Set a time frame: eg you will speak with the MIL in 2 days when you have calmed down. Refuse ANY effort of the mil to contact you in the meantime. Don't answer texts, don't answer the door if she comes over.

  9. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I wouldn't have responded via text like you guys did. That's just engaging her. Same thing as when a toddler is having a fit.. Arguing and negotiating with them will get you nowhere. I suppose you already know that though.
    Yep. Lesson relearned. Epic reminder to NOT do that again...

    So scared of hubby going to work tomorrow! Might have to hide out somewhere for the day...


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
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    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  10. #118
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    Can you hang out at someone in your families house tomorrow while DH is at work? Hugs, I hope there's no more drama tonight!

  11. #119
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    Sending you good vibes x Hope all is ok this morning

    I don't think you should have to deal with your MIL at all. It's not your responsibility to get rid of her. Block her number on your mobile and don't answer the home phone if you see her number flash up. Ignore Ignore Ignore!

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    GrabbyCrabby  (01-10-2013)

  13. #120
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    Rach I feel for you. They suck.

    I've recently cut my parents out of my life. Two of the biggest narcissists I've ever come across. I am just sad I didn't do it sooner. Every time I would see them I would come away feeling like they'd scooped out my insides. So empty & drained. The final straw was when they babysat & completely ignored my instructions, leading to DD crying for 90 minutes & them not bothering to call me. All the abuse & disrespect directed at me & DH we could handle, but mess with our kid & there's consequences. I had your same concerns - it's a huge call to cut family members off, especially parents. But I've never been happier, I feel like I can finally be myself & live the way I want to. I'm also due with #2 in Jan btw. x

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    TimeForWine  (01-10-2013)


 

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