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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Default Is this normal?

    I start full time work next week and have to put my 2.5 year old and 4 month old into daycare. I am going back to work full time out of necessity rather than choice. I am a mess. Every time I think about not being with my baby I start to cry. I'm so upset that I won't be there for her and that she will spend more time with someone else than with me. I'm not as worried about my 2.5 year old because I think he will love daycare and it will be good for him. I am a kindergarten teacher so they will be at the same centre as me so I am a lot luckier than some other mothers but this is not making it any easier.

    Is this crying normal? Did other mothers go through this? I am dreading my first day at work cause I know I will cry in front of my new workmates. I just want the crying to stop. I don't want to be upset in front of my kids either.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I think it's normal, I just started back at work 3 weeks ago and felt incredibly sad that my daughter would wake up from her sleeps and be cuddled by someone other than me :-( however when I pick her up and the end of the day she's so happy to see me, and I truly cherish every second I spend with her now, as opposed to sometimes just going through the motions. I cried on my first day but it does her easier. Good luck :-)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Firstly big hugs to you. This is completely normal. This is your baby and you have an emotional link to her. You have probably been with her 24/7 since she was conceived. I cried on my son's first day at daycare at age 2. 3.5 years later I blubbered all the way to work after dropping him off on his first day at school. My dd went to her 1st day at daycare when she was 8 months old. Broke my heart.
    I do think of it as a protective mechanism. If we were in the wild the emotion would stop us leaving our babies in a vulnerable state. Lucky for us we have daycares to look after our babies so they are cared for and well loved. I would be more concerned if you felt nothing

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Yes, the crying is normal. I used to cry when I left my ds home while I went off to work. There would be good days & bad days. Leaving early when he was still asleep was the hardest, especially if I had a late night meeting and wouldn't be home til after he was asleep that night.

    I can understand your concern about crying at work as the kids will be there with you, but hopefully you can find a room (?toilet) to go into and have a moment to yourself. But, probably before you know it you'll be super busy and distracted.

    I think worrying about something before it happens can be worse than the actual thing.

    Please talk to your GP if you think your sadness is out of proportion. Post pregnancy hormones suck and postnatal depression is still a potential issue - but remember it can be treated.


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