this is just a vent, im feeling a little annoyed with a friend of mine.
our dd's are 6 weeks appart, mine is older. They are 2.5yr olds.
Since my dd was born, this friend of mine basically wont do anything or figure out anything for herself. She is like a black sheep.
Sleep issues - she consulted me.
breastfeeding issues (should i stop, why did you stop?) - she consulted me.
Christenings - consulted me and picked the same date, same church (she doesnt even live in our parish).
Toilet training - she had been trying for a couple mths (i give heer that credit!). after she knew my dd had nailed it in 3 days - she asked what i did. did exactly the same and her dd was toilet trained in a few days also.
Taking her dd to the zoo - consulted me, what to take, where to go, what to see, how long did we stay blah blah...
Her dd wont drink milk - more the issue, my dd was still having the odd cup of milk a day. she was worried about calcium, then i asked if she eats yoghurt and cheese. "yes all the time". Ummm - you couldnt figure that out by yourself?
I know how stupid this all sounds, but i feel like whenever i see her, she's wanting to get something out of me that she's not too sure about. It's pretty draining and i find our conversations boring. I try to go off track and not discuss babies but she always brings it back.
Shes now ttc her second and asking if i dd any gender swaying because she wants a boy this time. She actually said "im so glad we waited untill dd was a little older...at least we wont have them both in nappies, i'll keep dd in daycare 3 days, i'll have lots of one on one time with the baby". My two are 20mths appart and dh had told her dh, it was tough at the start
She has a mother's group who she regularly meets with.
She has a few close friends who she has over for dinners ect.
I dont know why i feel like im being used for information - so she doesnt make the same mistakes?, is plain lazy?, or just feels comfortable talking to me? i dont know.
But ive just about had enough of the "friendship". play dates are really boring (for me) because i am consumed in d&m's about her and her dd's problems and feel like i have to solve all of them. My dd and her dd get along really well, i only meet with her so they can have a play.
sorry about the frazzled post. sorry for sounding like a crappy friend, im not, it's just her and i let her get to me.
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17-09-2013 13:21 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
really petty and pathetic vent...
17-09-2013 13:27 #2
Maybe she thinks that you're doing an fantastic job at parenting and looks to you for advice because she trusts you?
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17-09-2013 13:31 #3
Aww there's nothing wrong with a vent here and there!
Just a thought, but could your friend be the type who will be asking all her friends the same questions? Maybe you feel like she is not consulting you, but if she has lots of other mum friends, she may be asking them the me questions and getting a general idea. I understand it must be annoying for you.
I once worked with a girl who would ask me a question, I would answer, then she would turn around and ask another colleague the exact same question. Ummmm....excuse me? I just answered that for you. Perhaps your friend is like this?
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17-09-2013 13:31 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
I think she's just asking for your advice. She obviously respects your opinion!
As for the comments on age gaps, I think you have taken it personally when it probably wasn't directed at you. I would say the same on the positives of a slightly larger age gap between siblings.
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17-09-2013 13:35 #5
I would kind of take it as a compliment. She obviously values your opinion and respects what you say. But if it's draining maybe let her know there's parenting forums and groups out there she can use for information and suggest she joins one.
Last edited by inertia; 17-09-2013 at 14:18.
17-09-2013 13:45 #6
17-09-2013 13:52 #7
Yeah probably best not this one! haha
17-09-2013 14:32 #8
Just start answering with "im not sure have you asked your chn? Have u googled?
Or end the friendship.
More important things to worry about surely?
Mumma to two beautiful boys on the spectrum and one special little girl.
17-09-2013 16:12 #9
If the worst thing a friend did to me was to respect my opinion on a topic as important as raising children, then I would feel extremely good about how I am going with my job of being a mother.
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17-09-2013 16:27 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Just say 'I don't know we haven't ever had to worry about that'..
I have friends like that. They only want to talk when they want to suss stuff out.
It sh1ts me too.
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