Ok so im just kinda having a vent and also wondering how other people would feel in this situation
Was really good friends with a lady for about 4 years.... we only use to communicate over fb and have catch ups at each others house etc
We never really saw each others partners as they were at work when we would catch up... but we had met before....
We will call my friend jill and her partner ben
Ben had cheated on jill numerous times years ago that she found out about but she remained with him
Ben and jill werent friends on fb... ben would not add her (even though they lived together and had kids)
Ben had added me though been friends on fb for about 2 years..
Ben out of the blue messages me and just asks how I am.. General chat about the kids his new job etc...
Chat fizzled out soon after.
Few weeks later the same chat occurs
He likes few of my pics on fb
And again the same chats a week or so later
Chats again... but this time he starts complaining about jill leaving him with the kids while she goes out
I say ohh she deserves a break type thing
Few weeks later he starts another convo saying I should go out to town with him and his guy friends.... and that he wants to get in bed with me ...
Just out of the blue.
I said he was disgusting and asked if jill knew he was talking to me..
He says no..
So I spent 2 days thinking of how I should mention this to jill...
When jill and I were having a chat over fb I mentioned him chatting to me and she started going crazy asking questions. .. I hadnt yet mentioned anything that he had said that was inappropriate... I end up telling her and she didn't believe me
She said I was lying and trying to break them up etc she deleted me from fb and refused to talk to me...
That was about 16months ago...
I sent her a message saying im sorry about what happened and would like to be friends again etc and she told me to pi $$ off.
Do you think I have done anything wrong? ?
I didn't initiate any of the conversations between ben I didn't make any inappropriate comments and ended the convo when he did. Why I she like this to me??
How would you react??
I know it sounds high school but it irritates me
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 22
16-09-2013 01:41 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
16-09-2013 01:54 #2-
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Could you have taken a pic of the convo and sent it to her. Or even met up with her and showed her the messages? I dont think you did the wrong thing. He said yucky stuff you told him thats not on and then told his partner what he had been doing behind her back. None of that sounds like you are in the wrong at all. Him? Totally in the wrong and tbh I think maybe she is in a bit of denial. Kinda sucky situation for you and her.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
16-09-2013 02:07 #3
She just doesn't want to admit her relationship isn't in a great place. You didn't do anything wrong, he did, but its easier to erase you and pretend everything is still perfect.
16-09-2013 04:03 #4
Yep, a screenshot of the convos would iron out 'who said what' ...I feel sorry for you, and for your friend!!
16-09-2013 04:56 #5
Like pp I think you did the right thing and I know it was not easy to tell her, well done, you are a true friend.
Also agree the evidence would be helpful.
16-09-2013 04:56 #6
It's just the way their relationship works. Nothing to do with you. I would just leave it as is.
The Following User Says Thank You to Starfish30 For This Useful Post:
16-09-2013 05:53 #7
16-09-2013 06:03 #8
Unfortunately like others said, better to just move on. Know you did the right thing especially to yourself and especially if you would have liked to know. You couldn't have continued the friendship dishonestly it wouldn't have been fair on either of you.
She is angry because she doesn't want to believe what has happened - I mean what a snake! But she probably knows deep down that it's true. Just be there when she realises (if she ever does) otherwise you can't force it on her. She has made her choice and to remain a friend you just have to respect that.
Hugs - been where you are and it's not nice
16-09-2013 06:15 #9
Wow, your friend and her partner have really put you in a bad position.
From what you have written, it sounds like you have done everything right.
I agree with pp's, this friend is in denial about the state of her relationship. I have had friends in a similar state of denial, if he has tried to involve you in his deceit I would keep my distance. It makes you an easy target for her to blame.
Sent from my GT-N8010 using The Bub Hub mobile app
16-09-2013 06:27 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Print screen the conversation & send it to her.
I had a similar thing with a girl. However she wasn't my friend, I didn't know her. Her partner was cheating on her with me (I didn't know she existed until she sent me a message asking who I was)
I told her everything & she didn't believe me.
I will never forget her sleaze bag bf (who is now her fiancée) saying to me: 'you aren't the first & you won't be the last'
You've done all you can do.. It's probably happened before & she is refusing to believe it or is in denial to protect herself from being hurt.
By OJandMe in forum Family & FriendsReplies: 25Last Post: 23-01-2013, 13:42
By Megan90 in forum Conception issues & ttcReplies: 1Last Post: 15-11-2012, 07:21
By nikki78 in forum Pregnancy Health IssuesReplies: 1Last Post: 25-09-2012, 18:20
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and BroadwayPregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Chickenpox after being immunised?Pro-Vaccination
Would you delay TTC because first child is starting first year of school.General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat
Egg Donation in South Africa #14Egg Donation
Same Sex Parents TTC #5Same Sex Parents