Just as I thought I was about to breathe a sigh of relief as his terrible two age nearly passes in exactly 10 days, I find that my nearly 3 yo son is getting a bit uncontrollable and enjoys being selfish - welcome to another chapter of life. I often go to play dates with friends and their bubs, DS is rather selfish when it comes to sharing and playing together. As soon as another bub approaches him, he does not hesitate to (physically!)push them away or even throw a toy towards them and ocassionally a smack!
I dont know what else to explain here, but I have tried a gazzilion times explaining to him that pushing/ hitting/ throwing/smacking isnt nice at all... But he insists that he still does not want to share. There is nothing wrong with ds social skills, he talks and approaches us easily... but he just does not like being around other toddlers just simply because he does not want to be interrupted and even share toys with them.
I often feel bad to fellow playdate mums that their kids get at least a smack or a push from DS everytime we meet. How do I get Ds to be a nice friend amongst other toddlers? I have warned ds a gazzilion times about playing and sharing .. But he refuses to understand... Quite often i raise my voice and yells to him.. Maybe he is now resistant to my method of disciplining? I am now too exhaused to discipline him becuse he thinks Im a joke... I need help because ds does not seem to have a slightest fright of me!
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10-09-2013 15:58 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
My three year old ...
10-09-2013 16:26 #2
Hugs. DS turns 3 in less than a month and it's been a tough time for us lately too as far as discipline goes. Much harder than managing a 2 year old for sure. I am finding that yelling achieves absolutely nothing lately - DS mostly laughs or ignores it. So I'm trying to focus more on positive reinforcement, mainly just talking to him lots about happy and proud of him I am whenever he does something good.
Have you tried getting him to practice sharing with you at home? If he's eating something, ask if you can have a bite. If he's playing with something ask if you can have a turn. Then praise, praise, praise if he lets you. Also demonstrate sharing in front of him with your partner etc. Or point out when other kids are sharing things around him or with him, reinforce how great they are for sharing so well.
Just some ideas. Good luck!
10-09-2013 16:45 #3-
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Have you tried timeout? They are very effective. You need to get on top of it ASAP, it's something that can cause issues with friendships.
10-09-2013 18:54 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
I have not been consistent with time outs yet.. I know it works perfectly well with a lot of people but I dont think giving time outs for ds who cant even sit still for more than 30 seconds will work (instantly) yet.. Maybe he will laugh n ignore it... Im sure i will get there with persitence and consistency. Any tips for beginners time out?
Usually i will just take ds out of the 'crime' scene and not allow him to play once he does something unpleasant and he would cry.. That would make shut up at least for sometime that day.... However he would do it again the next time he meets with his fellow toddlers.
Funnily enough Ds is really good in asking whether he could borrow something from other people... But certainly not forgiving enough for friends who barge in and want to play with him and even someone who is peeping from behind. He would start to get paranoid as if someone would snatch something from him. I begin to wonder whether he has serious issues now?
to be honest in his previous day care he had been into a situation where he fought with another kid because of toy snatching ... We didnt see him being traumatised after that, even growing up as a happy toddler.. Not until recently i started hanging out with mums and bubs group and see with my very own eyes that ds can be a bit too fierce amongst his friends... Unlike any other toddlers who enjoy playing together
10-09-2013 19:02 #5
Welcome to being the mum of a threenager! im on my second year of having one, just remember this too will pass and soon they will be 4 which is a wonderful age hugs
10-09-2013 19:25 #6
Apparently they get a rather large surge of testosterone at that age that turns sweet little boys into monsters. At least that's what my sister told me when ds was going through that stage.
10-09-2013 19:48 #7
the only advise i can give you is turn everything in to a choice.
eg would you like to keep pushing him or would you like to go sit in the car? would you like to eat your peas or your carrots.
they are at the age of testing boundaries making them feel like they have some kind of power is the only way i get through it, it is also the beginning of making them become responsible for their choices .
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29-12-2013 13:24 #8
I have trouble with him and discipline, I always have. He has such a strong personality and is very stubborn like his mother lol
I have started time out in a corner where he can't see the tv, toys, there is nothing in his reach to play with. It's just a boring old corner. My phone comes out and u set it to the timer for 1 min. He quickly learnt that if he got out of the time out, the timer starts again, getting longer in time out. He hates it! It took a week of being consistent. And now I give him the warning and he behaves. After the time out I always make sure he's calm and sit down and look him in the eye and talk to him, explaining WHY he had time out. Make up, cuddles, kisses, I love you's, etc.
Good luck Hun, it sure it hard xx
29-12-2013 13:26 #9
Oh and time out applies when we are out, not just at home. Other wise he thinks he can get away with anything out and about too lol. Oh the joys ;-)
29-12-2013 13:34 #10
Time out was pointless for us as DS simply would not sit there, he just ignored it an ran away!
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