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  1. #11
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    I have to agree with Ghosty sock girl

    Once a court order is in place you are locked in. From your side of the story he truly sounds incompetent.

    Great that he is fun, if you can facilitate contact and be there that sounds like the way to go.

    Keep a diary of how contacts go - very important


    Dave The Turning Cowboy

    turning wood into art

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    mummyfox92  (09-09-2013)

  3. #12
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    Get s court order. Keep records of all visits, calls. Times he doesn't turn up. SMSs. My SIL went through this with her son snd having all these records came in very handy.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTTC View Post
    I have to agree with Ghosty sock girl

    Once a court order is in place you are locked in. From your side of the story he truly sounds incompetent.

    Great that he is fun, if you can facilitate contact and be there that sounds like the way to go.

    Keep a diary of how contacts go - very important


    Dave The Turning Cowboy

    turning wood into art
    I agree. Most people advise to get a court order.... Its not always the best course of action. What it will likely do in this case is give the father unsupervised visits on weekends which doesn't sound like its in the best interest of the little girl & you are then locked in. I would only have visits while you are there but have him do everything for her, nappies, feeding etc as if you aren't there & I would be doing that for a long while before considering him to have her on his own.

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTTC View Post
    I have to agree with Ghosty sock girl

    Once a court order is in place you are locked in. From your side of the story he truly sounds incompetent.

    Great that he is fun, if you can facilitate contact and be there that sounds like the way to go.

    Keep a diary of how contacts go - very important

    Thank you kind sir.

    Dave is correct.

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    DaveTTC  (09-09-2013)

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTTC View Post
    I have to agree with Ghosty sock girl

    Once a court order is in place you are locked in. From your side of the story he truly sounds incompetent.

    Great that he is fun, if you can facilitate contact and be there that sounds like the way to go.

    Keep a diary of how contacts go - very important


    Dave The Turning Cowboy

    turning wood into art
    Thank you everyone for your replies.

    Yes that is the downfall about a court order - which is why until now I have not pursued any course of action.

    I have been documenting what dates he has visited but will be more in-depth and record calls and sms as well.

    When I said he is the 'fun' person, I meant he just plays with her. However the visits are not always fun - especially if we are arguing over DD's head. This is frustrating and is why I posted today, because we cannot seem to get along. I am trying to be there strictly for DD and he tries to be there for a family image - and it causes friction when I point out we are NOT a family. For him anyway. We are DD's family, but I think acting like we're together is confusing and definitely not on my agenda as a parent or an ex.

    I would be happy to retain the 100% custody I am grateful to have, but each visit comes with the paranoia and anxiety that we may meet him (as visits have to be at a mutual halfway place, since our new house is too far) and I may be put in a difficult situation where he may take DD from me. It's hypothetical but it is still a possibility and also scraps any chance of my handing her over, which I gather we all agree here is not wise at all, but is still a point of argument.

    Sorry for the rants, your comments are very helpful though!

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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