Let me preface this by saying I love and adore my DD more than anything on the planet! Lately though I have been feeling like I really don't 'like' her sometimes though? I'm feeling really ashamed to admit that so please reply nicely
She is 3 and her behaviour is pushing me to a place where I turn into an angry resentful mum. I am a fulltime SAHM and some mornings I wake up thinking 'not another day with DD!'
She is a lot of work, always has been. Shocking sleeper, terrible eater, never listens, does whatever she wants and doesn't care about the consequences. I hate taking her to the shops because she has massive meltdowns and runs off on me. I turn my back for a second and she's ran from me!
She is a beautiful sweet natured child but she is very strong willed and everything is 'her way or the highway'. You cannot compromise with her. I've tried all sorts of techniques and the behaviour is set in stone. I'm at my wits end!
Everything is a struggle or a fight, I'm worn out and I'm sometimes sick of being her mum as terrible as that sounds because I adore her completely! She pushes me and bosses me around I feel like she's broken me! A 3 year old!! People ask when we'll have another and honestly I couldn't think of anything worse than having another that could potentially behave like DD.
Some days she is so horrible I find myself wishing I'd never had her. *tears*
Has anyone else felt like this from a child? It's an awful rotten way to feel. I just want to enjoy my beautiful girl again and not struggle all day everyday!
Thanks for reading.
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04-09-2013 16:31 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Is this normal?
04-09-2013 16:39 #2
I'll admit I had moments of feeling like this when my oldest was that age. Thankfully it was just a phase and she is now a lovely, well mannered child, couldn't ask for better behavior (most of the time - no one's perfect).
I think 3 can be very challenging, especially when you never get a break and it feels relentless.
We also did a triple P parenting course around that time which helped remind us how normal certain behaviors are and how to stay calm.
Big hugs, it does get better. Stay loving, stay consistent, and try to find a way to get time for yourself (any friends or family to watch her for a few hours?).
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04-09-2013 16:40 #3
There is a huge range of normal, and I think it's ok to have days like that, but probably not to feel that every day.
she does sound like hard work! Is it an option for you to put her in care for one day a week to five you both respite from each other? Or do you have a family member or friend who will watch her for a couple of hours every couple of weeks so you can recharge? Go to the movies, have a manicure or just grab a nice coffee in peace?
04-09-2013 16:46 #4
I think it's normal to feel very worn down in your situation. Our 2.5 year old is really trying to boss us around at the moment, having meltdowns when he doesn't get his way etc. It can be so draining!
04-09-2013 16:54 #5
Oh my god - I hear you. I could've written this post word for word except I have a DS who turns 3 in a month.
The last couple of weeks he has just been such incredibly hard work. He has dropped his daytime nap and is just relentless, he just does not stop from the second he gets up. I thought the 2's were supposed to be the hardest age but I am finding him harder to handle the closer he gets to 3. He is a sweet and quite sensitive little boy... but also incredibly defiant, very set in his ways and seems to be living in his own world at times too. I am also a SAHM and there are days where I just crave a break from him. I have recently put him into occasional care for 1 morning (3 hours) per week to save my sanity, to allow me to attend appointments and just have a coffee in peace! Would that be an option for you?
No other advice but I do think all the feelings you are having are so normal. I consider myself a VERY patient person but I have pushed to my absolute limit and back again by this child of mine lately. Nothing could have prepared me for the depth of emotion you feel as a parent - I feel like its brought out the best and worst of me at times. Yesterday was a bad day especially (yelling, tears from him AND me) but I woke up this morning optimistic and determined not to let him 'break' me today and am proud to say he hasn't, woohoo! I know it sounds strange but I've been extra 'silly' today, singing crazy songs and whatever which seems to make him laugh and lightens the mood.
Huge hugs x
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04-09-2013 18:24 #6
I remember when ds was younger I definitely had days like this. He could be very challenging. Thankfully, at 4 he is now (mostly) a delight. But I certainly did not enjoy parenting him for a while there.
I also suggest using chilldcare 1 day per week. I found my ds thrived in the new and different environment. I needed the time out, too.
04-09-2013 19:00 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
Thanks everyone! It's nice to be reminded that this age is just difficult! I have to keep thinking that I can't let her challenging behaviour get the better of me and my emotions as she's only a child and she's learning. I definitely am going to look into putting her into daycare once or twice a week as I think it will be just what she needs! I hate feeling cross at her, it makes me miserable. I hope the terrible 3's pass soon!! 2's have nothing on 3's!!!
04-09-2013 19:33 #8
I could've written this myself. I have 4 kids, she's my only daughter and she has very recently been diagnosed with ADHD with Autistic traits..
She is HARD work, she is just gorgeous, sweet as anything, but my God I need a tiny break.
My paed has suggested daycare, I am just scared of what she'd be like there and that they wouldn't look after her properly..
She is also 3, it's very difficult!
04-09-2013 19:56 #9
OP I have a similar 2.5 year old by the sounds of it, she is hard work! I also second daycare, she goes once a week for 5 hours, she absolutely loves it and has a ball (is almost perfectly behaved for them to lol) and it gives me enough of a break to recharge. Another thing the works pretty well with her is distraction.
04-09-2013 20:00 #10
It might be helpful to remember that it is a child's job to push boundaries, to learn where the limits are.
It can be very challenging when kids push the limits but try to remember that is what kids are designed to do.
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