Hi, there seems to be a massive baby boom in our office, three of us are pregnant, that is three - plus me.
in addition three other staff have decided they are moving on next month. and i am 11 weeks (mind you, it took me 22 months to conceive, and i had an early m/c when i conceived at 18 months) and a lot of ppl are aware of my infertility history.
Everyone is sort of freaking out about so many ppl leaving at once and someone just asked me 'what about you how you going with that?' and shes my friend so i was kind of smiling, i couldnt hide it, i didnt say it, but yeah, she guessed.
what do i do? do i tell my manager now before they catch wind of it? my friend promised she wouldnt tell anyone but you know how that goes right! oh btw, my manager is also one of the three who is pregnant lol.
i am 11 wks tomorrow, i intended to wait till after my 12 week scan results (have scan on 16th of sept, results that same week) so by then i will be nearly 14 weeks.
what should i do? i want to be the one telling everyone, i dont want them to find out through gossip
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02-09-2013 11:46 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
Someone at work guessed im pregnant, telling manager now?
02-09-2013 11:56 #2
Depends on your relationship with your manager. Do u think she would treat you differently if she knew? Would it effect the chances of you continuing work in 2014? Bugger what people think, it's up to you to decide what is best for you and your bub to be. If I had a steady job id tell my boss when I started to 'show' but since I'm on contract I'm not telling until I have to by law.
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02-09-2013 15:46 #3
We took about a year and half Inc IVF to get pregnant. My boss new I was doing IVF I kind of felt I had to tell her as I usually start work at 6 and the IVF place opened at 7am so there was times I'd be Laredo due to blood tests or ultrasounds. Or needed days off so I sort of couldn't not tell her without her thinking what's going on. She was fine about it though I suspect she told others. I was 5 weeks pregnant when I told work, I didn't want to but my job has some risks so I needed to be desk bound. I figured I could still miscarry after 3 months obviously less chances but still I did tell as it was best for bubs safetyl
02-09-2013 16:16 #4
I had a similar thing at my work - 3 girls announced their pregnancy in 3 consecutive weeks. A bunch of us were all standing around and someone said 'Hmm ... I wonder who'll be next!' I was about 9 weeks pregnant. I'm a terrible liar so I just looked at the floor and didn't say anything. Shortly afterwards a very good friend pulled me aside and just smiled at me and said 'You are aren't you?!' She just knew. I made her promise not to tell anyone including our boss and I trust that she didn't. I told my boss after we got our 12 week scan results. I could not have left it any later as my belly had started to show. It was VERY hard waiting that long as we had a 3 day conference at a resort involving drinks every night which I had to pretend to drink.
I would wait to tell if that's what you feel more comfortable with - you've only got a few more weeks and hopefully this friend will stick to her word and not mention it.
Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide!
02-09-2013 16:54 #5
I didn't tell my work officially until I was 16 weeks. My direct manager knew as I was suffering terrible all day sickness and couldn't hide it. My close work friend knew from when we found out, I just couldn't keep it from her but I knew she wouldn't say anything. We were kind of lucky as were on holidays from week 13 to 16 anyway so didn't need to say anything until I got back. By then the CEO had already suspected I was pregnant.
My friend found out she was pregnant the same week I announced to work. She had to tell them at 8 weeks as there was to be a hell of a lot of change with in her department and she wanted to be fair to them. She did agonize over telling work that early.
Do what you feel is right and it would depend on your relationship with your manager. I understand the whole wanting to tell everyone rather than have gossip go around, but these days I don't think it is essential to tell your workplace at the end of the 1st trimester (unless your work could affect the pregnancy).
Good luck with your decision. Go with your gut feeling, if you want to wait then wait
02-09-2013 17:44 #6
I was similar to you. Only 2 girls in my office and I had high'ish risk from nuchal scan so didnt want to tell anyone...then my colleague announced she was 8 weeks, I told them when I was 18 weeks.
I felt bad for "hiding it" for so long but manager was great, he felt bad for not noticing!
02-09-2013 19:33 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
With my DD I had to tell my work as soon as I knew (ie 5wks) as I work around xrays and drugs that increase risk of miscarriage/birth defects. I really didn't want to announce it so early and worried about my bosses reaction but didn't feel comfortable taking risks. Some of my management team were supportive and others were critical. The practice manager actually said 'you know that's a long time not to do a large part of your job for. Most people wouldn't even know they are pregnant yet' (as though I should just carry on as normal!). They also made the decision not to give me a bonus that year and admitted that the fact I was pregnant was one of the reasons. Even though it was hard to deal with at the time I don't regret it and have taken the same precautions this time around. Good luck x
02-09-2013 20:48 #8
I would tell before someone else beats you to it. You dont want to seem like you hide things from your manager.
I was forced to tell mine at 8 weeks because of severe morning sickness and had to take 4 weeks off !
She was happy to be the first to know i think
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