What does your partner think? I didn't want my mum there anyway but I know my DF would have been a bit upset if he had to share such a special moment with my mum. He wanted to be the one to take care of me and hold my hand etc. If you think your mum will distract you and won't respect your wishes, don't have her there. If she gets upset, well, harsh as it sounds, that's not your problem. It's you who is giving birth and it's your choice.
My sister got all upset and offended when I told her she couldn't be at my birth. I just don't understand why other people think they have any right to even ask, if you want someone there you would ask them yourself.
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30-08-2013 23:15 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
31-08-2013 21:19 #22
01-09-2013 00:29 #23Junior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
I think you have to do what you feel comfortable with and to think about what kind of birth you and your partner want. Talk to your partner see how he feels and whatever you decide stick to it and let everyone know what you and your partner want from your birthing experience. You will never get this time back and will regret it every time you look back at it, if it doesn't go to the way you had in mind.
01-09-2013 04:03 #24
I told everyone straight up friends family.. We don't want you there I'm having a c section and want to bond with our baby first we will call you when we do some were offended some weren't. I called people later that day. Be honest with her, she's your mum she will understand. Yes she will be hurt but its your experience not hers! Stand up now its the beginning of parenting you have lots to stand up for good luck
01-09-2013 05:49 #25
For fear of my family just 'rocking' up with I'm sure well meaning intentions.. We have discussed not telling anyone when it all starts to happen or if we were booked in for an induction, CSection etc.
it's just easier if no one knows. I don't understand this, it's ur time, ur news to share. But everyone feels like they have some right to be there or be the first to know. My dad asked how he will know I'm in labour.. I replied - it will probably hurt.
He was a bit taken back but I explained we would be sharing the news when there was something to tell. Ie when we actually have had the baby.
01-09-2013 06:03 #26
01-09-2013 06:20 #27
I told my mum she couldn't come in and she whinged and sooked for months!
It started to really stress me out by the end of my pregnancy. She even went so far as to call DF and try to psych him out "are you sure you're up to it? You not very good with that kind of thing though are you? It'd be awful if something happened and she was left on her own. Etc etc." DF was already starting to panic so it was pretty crappy.
In the end I stuck to my guns. I didn't have any visitors at the hospital at all (except my dad, mum lives interstate), and once mum finally saw DS all was forgotten.
So she might be all upset at first but once their grandbaby is here it becomes insignificant!
01-09-2013 06:38 #28
01-09-2013 06:54 #29
My mum wanted to be there for DSs birth and has asked to be here for this next bubba's birth and both times I told her no way! And both times she was upset. But honestly, I'm not really comfortable having my mum sitting next to me with a front row view up my vagina. Aside from that, I want to just focus on giving birth and not have to worry about my mum (she is very emotional and "precious"). She also said if she can't be in the labour room she wants to be in the waiting room. I told her no to that as well, I don't want to stress about her at all, AND frankly I don't want her running in the second bub is in my arms. When I gave birth to ds, my MIL, SIL, brother, sister and partners were all there in the birthing suite within an hour of delivering. I had JUST taken a shower, they had hardly had time to clean up the blood from the floor, and I hadn't even fed ds yet - and all of a sudden a bunch of people were there passing ds around, mil even changed his nappy. I'd hardly held him
And was so overwhelmed. He was crying a lot and the nurse told me off because I was supposed to feed him but had no idea how or even that I was supposed to do that, and wasn't comfortable doing it in front of all these people. It was really traumatic. I am going to be very upfront this time around about visitors and what I will and won't tolerate. If you are worried about bonding and being able to focus on you and your bub, you need to be vocal about your wishes.
17-10-2013 19:43 #30
I under no circumstances want anyone other than DF there. She knows this so she will ensure no one but herself is in the room.
My mum has been present at all grand kids being born (to all my sister in laws) so I guess she just thinks seeing as I'm her actual daughter it's a given.
I honestly couldn't think of anything worse. As most have said, it's time for the two new parents to bond and grow through this experience. Once everything is ok and I'm all cleaned up, come on in guys lol I just want my personal time during such a huge moment in our lives.
And come on... I don't want anyone down there that doesn't have to be haha :P
Love my mum, but she can wait in the waiting room. I said to DF like when nothing's happening, mum n dad both can "chill" unless I'm tired n want to sleep. But as soon as I need to be checked it things start happening, they will be moving to the lounge. However I honestly want them waiting at home as long as possible. May even lie and say nothing is happening and just say it was all of a sudden haha cause I think those few hours after birth are so precious and should be for the new parents
Ok I'm blabbering lol
Last edited by GDYB03; 17-10-2013 at 19:45.
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