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26-08-2013 19:59 #31
26-08-2013 20:03 #32
26-08-2013 20:06 #33Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
What's concerning is the seeming attitude from the dark ages "she's asking for trouble" kinda of attitude. We can't live in a box. I've had personal dealings with a stalker through my profession & I had an employer suggest its the way I dress somehow a skirt above the knee & a lab coat were provocative. I didn't change anything about myself & his comments were I was asking for it. I was made to feel like I was the one with the problem & I made my choice not to play the victim, instead to assert my choices & live how I wish & beat this guy with the law & the police.
It's not the same as rape, but we can't live in fear of how we dress, or the park, or gym or being home by ourselves it's our right as humans to do as we wish.
Op I don't know what your problem is but it's almost like jealousy in way especially to point out the bit about what your friends daughter said. Kinda like she's moving on & putting herself out there to be approachable & meet new people & leaving you behind in some way? Idk. Just saying.
26-08-2013 20:08 #34
26-08-2013 20:53 #35
Just want to add my two cents here. I was always taught by my mother not to put myself in a situation that could lead to my harm. Walking alone, in a park, at night just seems like an unnecessary risk to me. I agree that women shouldn't be afraid to go out at night alone and that the chances of being assaulted are slim but I certainly don't want to be a statistic and I wouldn't want my friend to be one either.
26-08-2013 20:56 #36Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
You don't drive?
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26-08-2013 22:45 #37
I am a risk averse person and if a police officer advised me to avoid walking alone in a park known for trouble I would take that advice. Doesn't matter if I was female or male.
Same as if I went travelling overseas I would avoid doing things which are known to be dangerous such as red light districts etc.
This does not mean I am putting the responsibility on myself, it just means I am avoiding a dangerous situation. Yes, I know there are stats about being killed in a car accident etc but for me an accident is a random occurrence and is not as scary as being a victim of a violent crime.
Hence I can understand the op wants to warn her friend but obviously it's up to the friend to do as she pleases. I had a friend who lived in the same area as myself and was mugged near the train station. her advice to me was to be careful and I appreciate that.
27-08-2013 05:51 #38
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happy wanderer (27-08-2013)
27-08-2013 06:21 #39
It sounds like your friend wants to continue to walk in this park and that is her choice. Rather than tell her not to I would speak to hear about carrying a rape alarm, pepper spray (is it legal here? Perfume in the eyes would also work) and some basic self defense moves.
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27-08-2013 06:36 #40
Could it just have been miscommunication OP between the two parties? She was just being friendly and talking to someone ( which by the sounds of it is not uncommon for her) but he thought there was something more?
I'm not saying she lead him on I am saying however its sometimes easy for miscommunication to occur and his expectations from the in-counter may have been different from hers.
I personally don't put myself in harms way and I am also very careful when talking to strangers about my body language and words. It is very easy for someone to misunderstand situations.
OP if the police have warned her and she still is going there then I don't think there's much you can do, it's great you are a good friend who cares about those close to her.
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