My response to him asking if he could take DS to the circus was: "Hey, oh sorry but I am morally and ethically opposed to circuses (yes roll your eyes haha). But thanks so much anyway!"
I don't want to go on and on about it or to keep explaining myself - just wanted thoughts. Thanks again all.
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23-08-2013 20:03 #41
23-08-2013 20:07 #42
OP, I don't think his reply was particularly rude. Perhaps he wanted to go to the circus, and felt like a bit of an idiot if he went, as a grown man, on his own... so thought he'd borrow a kid to make it seem less stupid. I mean... people offer to take DD to places all the time... so that THEY can be childish and silly and not look like a fool as a grown adult on their own. I do it too, if I'm honest (we see many kids films just because I want to see them).
I think it may have been more about the anti-circus thing... as he's obviously not opposed and whenever I mention that we don't agree with circuses and thus will not attend (because I'm with you on that!), people act like I'm some nasty jerk depriving my kid of essential childhood fun or some crap. So... I think it would probably more likely be that.
Calling you a wet blanket though... hardly offensive. You kind of ARE... he's wanting to have fun, to take your kid somewhere fun... and you're the one who's said no and prevented that. It's absolutely your right... but yeah, in his eyes, of course you're a wet blanket! A rude, offensive reply would have been more along the lines of: "WTF?! Are you serious? What, are you going to strap yourself to trees in hopes that nobody chops them down too? Attack Japanese Whaling Ships? *roll eyes* Whatever... hope your kid somehow manages to enjoy childhood despite having a killjoy for a mother."
I've also offered to take DP's niece and nephew places before. I've been with DP for about 5 years and one of the kids is 4, a little boy...
It's not creepy or weird, and no alarm bells should be ringing!
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23-08-2013 20:11 #43Senior Member
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23-08-2013 20:18 #44
Sorry but I think calling his text message 'rude' is a bit over the top. It was a text message, you don't know what his tone was. If my friends tell me they don't wanna go out coz they are tired/sick/whatever I call them a wet blanket/party pooper. Its not being rude it's a bit of a joke! Maybe just forgot about this and see if the behaviour continues, although asking to take him out twice isn't really that much.
23-08-2013 20:24 #45
I come up with some zany things to do with my nieces which my sister-in-law often doesn't approve of! I always seek my SIL's approval though and don't take issue with her declines. But I'm sure she thinks I'm crazy because she is very conservative.
Just offering a perspective that relo's can seek out & enjoy the company of kids without it being anything sinister. And I guess the point that because I'm female, it wouldn't appear sinister.
Not much help to your situation OP, just commenting in regards to the fact that it isn't necessarily weird. But agree that you have to trust your instinct.
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23-08-2013 20:43 #46
If this is what you said to him, then I think his response was just repeating what you said, and I don't see it as a big deal, sorry OP.
If you aren't comfortable with him taking your son out, fair enough, totally your call. Unless he repeatedly asks to do so I'd probably leave it at that.
23-08-2013 20:58 #47
It is the second time within a month, and yeah, I will speak to my sister as my feeling is that I don't know him well enough, which is prob why his attitude/personality misses its mark with me.
Ok enough explaining from me.... Have to go!
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23-08-2013 21:01 #48Senior Member
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- Feb 2012
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OP - just do whatever you feel comfortable with. He's your child and you make the rules.
23-08-2013 21:08 #49
23-08-2013 21:11 #50
Trust your instincts OP - you know the situation better than anybody.
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