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  1. #1
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    Default 'Privileged poor'

    Thoughts?

    http://m.dailylife.com.au/news-and-v...508-2j731.html

    A small excerpt:

    'The rise of the privileged poor isn't just a function of greed and misplaced self-pity. It is also a product of social expectation. Dishing out $60 for a dinner with friends, $200 for a buck's weekend away, $50 for a baby shower, and $25 for a Kickstarter campaign isn't just a matter of keeping up with the Joneses – it's a matter of not offending them.

    The result is a false dichotomy: either you are “poor” and poised on the edge of bankruptcy, or you are “comfortable” and you never have to think about money at all. But being middle-class doesn't mean never needing to make a choice about what you spend your money on. It means having the wiggle room to choose in the first place.'

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    There are people out there like this unfortunately. I know someone who can be a SAHM to 3 children while her husband works and they earn 200K and she wants to send her kids to a private school yet she complains about being poor all the time and how hard done by they are because they get nothing from the government, no baby bonus or anything. It really ****es me off.. I mean hello you're on twice the wage we are. She gets upset with single parents and the money they receive etc. SHe'd like to see all payments scrapped because she doesn't receive them. It's very annoying to listen to.

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    Maybe I'm lucky enough not to friends like this...everyone I associate with is comfortable with saying "no" to invitations. If I invited friends out for dinner to an expensive restaurant, most would be able to say "I'm sorry I don't have the money for that this week". We would then come up with an alternative venue.

    I really don't know anyone that complains because they can't have everything they want. I personally have to pick and chose what I sspend money on/ events I attend. That's life, it doesn't make me cry poor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    There are people out there like this unfortunately. I know someone who can be a SAHM to 3 children while her husband works and they earn 200K and she wants to send her kids to a private school yet she complains about being poor all the time and how hard done by they are because they get nothing from the government, no baby bonus or anything. It really ****es me off.. I mean hello you're on twice the wage we are. She gets upset with single parents and the money they receive etc. SHe'd like to see all payments scrapped because she doesn't receive them. It's very annoying to listen to.
    Omg sorry but that's ridiculous! She has no idea!

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    I think I have this mentality, but certainly don't complain to anyone IRL about it as i know we're not actually poor. We usually earn a relatively good wage (I'm currently on parental leave), I have a degree, paying off a mortgage and a late model car, plenty of food in the house at all times yet I still get annoyed when I have a number of social engagements in one month because I feel like I can't afford it. I think for me it's not a case of being ungrateful for what we have but rather I want to maintain friendships as I know how important they are to my well being, but I feel like it ends up costing us $60-80 for a dinner out or $100+ if its for a bucks, hens, or set menu.

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    #Mama (21-08-2013),Atropos (21-08-2013),F&A (21-08-2013),Ffrenchknickers (21-08-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    I think I have this mentality, but certainly don't complain to anyone IRL about it as i know we're not actually poor. We usually earn a relatively good wage (I'm currently on parental leave), I have a degree, paying off a mortgage and a late model car, plenty of food in the house at all times yet I still get annoyed when I have a number of social engagements in one month because I feel like I can't afford it. I think for me it's not a case of being ungrateful for what we have but rather I want to maintain friendships as I know how important they are to my well being, but I feel like it ends up costing us $60-80 for a dinner out or $100+ if its for a bucks, hens, or set menu.
    I hear you on the costs thing. At times I absolutely resent spending the money on these things. DD1 was a flower girl at a friends wedding, I had to pay $70 for her dress, $50 for her hair and makeup, $30 for a cardigan and tights and cheap shoes, then (as it was a destination wedding) pay for fuel and accommodation (so another $200 plus) and then put something in the blardy wishing well! It didn't bankrupt us or anything but it was several hundred dollars I couldn't help wanting to not spend!! But how can you say no? Tbh, had I realised I would have to pay so much or DD, I'd have considered saying no.
    We don't have a mortgage but pay rent and a car loan - but I have been truly close to poverty in the past- think not enough money to eat properly, phones cut off, behind in rent. I know how anxious and sick that made me, I guess I'm always scared of ending up back there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I hear you on the costs thing. At times I absolutely resent spending the money on these things. DD1 was a flower girl at a friends wedding, I had to pay $70 for her dress, $50 for her hair and makeup, $30 for a cardigan and tights and cheap shoes, then (as it was a destination wedding) pay for fuel and accommodation (so another $200 plus) and then put something in the blardy wishing well! It didn't bankrupt us or anything but it was several hundred dollars I couldn't help wanting to not spend!! But how can you say no? Tbh, had I realised I would have to pay so much or DD, I'd have considered saying no.
    We don't have a mortgage but pay rent and a car loan - but I have been truly close to poverty in the past- think not enough money to eat properly, phones cut off, behind in rent. I know how anxious and sick that made me, I guess I'm always scared of ending up back there.
    Wow! I am a tight **** and if I contribute to the wedding or have to spend a chunk to get there, I don't contribute to the wishing well! That being said, I was floored by the generosity of some guests at ours! (We didn't have a wishing well, but my folks told a few rellies to give us cash)

    I guess I am in this stage at the moment. My husband earns a great wage, but because of some earlier silly financial choices we are struggling from pay to pay with no savings. I do say 'I'm broke' but I think I will follow boobycino's lead and say out of budget from now on, because yes- I have a house, electricity, food, Internet, running water and clean clothes. I am certainly not living in poverty, I have just made a few dumb choices that I am now working my way out of.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    I think I have this mentality, but certainly don't complain to anyone IRL about it as i know we're not actually poor. We usually earn a relatively good wage (I'm currently on parental leave), I have a degree, paying off a mortgage and a late model car, plenty of food in the house at all times yet I still get annoyed when I have a number of social engagements in one month because I feel like I can't afford it. I think for me it's not a case of being ungrateful for what we have but rather I want to maintain friendships as I know how important they are to my well being, but I feel like it ends up costing us $60-80 for a dinner out or $100+ if its for a bucks, hens, or set menu.
    You hit the nail on the head for us as well. My hubby is on a comfortable wage. By no means big but we are also paying a mortgage and a late model car. We may have take out on a Saturday night but that is the extent of our luxuries.

    DH has a lot of single friends who go out every Friday and Saturday night in the eastern suburbs. This costs DH easily $100 on drink and food. Plus $60+ if he catches a taxi home. He can't do this every weekend and is starting to feel quite alienated from his friends because of it.

    He is also planning a bucks weekend for his mate he is best man for the wedding. We kept costs at $50 - entry to the races and a chartered bus trip to the city. Over 35 people are coming and he kept getting feedback it was the cheapest bucks they had web invited to. We figured in the day they can spend what they want on food and drink.

    Annoyingly he got a lot of those single friends asking him to 'float' them the $50 and they would pay him when they see him. Seriously we have just had a baby and have bills coming out out behinds.

    I definitely don't plead poor but we definitely have to pick and choose what we attend an dont because of the expected cost.

    My mum said during the recession everyone on our street were struggling new families and every Saturday night they would all bring a dish over like a tuna bake and a goon bag of wine and play board games while the children had a sleep over on a room. That was the height of excitement back then.

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    I know more than one person like this

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    But is it the case that the middle class as a whole has redefined what it means to be 'poor' ?

    I think somewhere in the article it says that it's not about not having enough to survive, it's simply about not being rich.

    Coupled with social changes that mean things like private school or dining out are now a legitimate choice for middle Australia so there's a social imperative - or at least expectation - the they will make the most of having these choices available to them.

    So it's not simply individual greed, it's a broader social change.

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