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  1. #1
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    Default 'Privileged poor'

    Thoughts?

    http://m.dailylife.com.au/news-and-v...508-2j731.html

    A small excerpt:

    'The rise of the privileged poor isn't just a function of greed and misplaced self-pity. It is also a product of social expectation. Dishing out $60 for a dinner with friends, $200 for a buck's weekend away, $50 for a baby shower, and $25 for a Kickstarter campaign isn't just a matter of keeping up with the Joneses – it's a matter of not offending them.

    The result is a false dichotomy: either you are “poor” and poised on the edge of bankruptcy, or you are “comfortable” and you never have to think about money at all. But being middle-class doesn't mean never needing to make a choice about what you spend your money on. It means having the wiggle room to choose in the first place.'

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    There are people out there like this unfortunately. I know someone who can be a SAHM to 3 children while her husband works and they earn 200K and she wants to send her kids to a private school yet she complains about being poor all the time and how hard done by they are because they get nothing from the government, no baby bonus or anything. It really ****es me off.. I mean hello you're on twice the wage we are. She gets upset with single parents and the money they receive etc. SHe'd like to see all payments scrapped because she doesn't receive them. It's very annoying to listen to.

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    I think I have this mentality, but certainly don't complain to anyone IRL about it as i know we're not actually poor. We usually earn a relatively good wage (I'm currently on parental leave), I have a degree, paying off a mortgage and a late model car, plenty of food in the house at all times yet I still get annoyed when I have a number of social engagements in one month because I feel like I can't afford it. I think for me it's not a case of being ungrateful for what we have but rather I want to maintain friendships as I know how important they are to my well being, but I feel like it ends up costing us $60-80 for a dinner out or $100+ if its for a bucks, hens, or set menu.

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    #Mama (21-08-2013),Atropos (21-08-2013),F&A (21-08-2013),Ffrenchknickers (21-08-2013)

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    I know more than one person like this

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    Maybe I'm lucky enough not to friends like this...everyone I associate with is comfortable with saying "no" to invitations. If I invited friends out for dinner to an expensive restaurant, most would be able to say "I'm sorry I don't have the money for that this week". We would then come up with an alternative venue.

    I really don't know anyone that complains because they can't have everything they want. I personally have to pick and chose what I sspend money on/ events I attend. That's life, it doesn't make me cry poor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    There are people out there like this unfortunately. I know someone who can be a SAHM to 3 children while her husband works and they earn 200K and she wants to send her kids to a private school yet she complains about being poor all the time and how hard done by they are because they get nothing from the government, no baby bonus or anything. It really ****es me off.. I mean hello you're on twice the wage we are. She gets upset with single parents and the money they receive etc. SHe'd like to see all payments scrapped because she doesn't receive them. It's very annoying to listen to.
    Omg sorry but that's ridiculous! She has no idea!

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    But is it the case that the middle class as a whole has redefined what it means to be 'poor' ?

    I think somewhere in the article it says that it's not about not having enough to survive, it's simply about not being rich.

    Coupled with social changes that mean things like private school or dining out are now a legitimate choice for middle Australia so there's a social imperative - or at least expectation - the they will make the most of having these choices available to them.

    So it's not simply individual greed, it's a broader social change.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    I think I have this mentality, but certainly don't complain to anyone IRL about it as i know we're not actually poor. We usually earn a relatively good wage (I'm currently on parental leave), I have a degree, paying off a mortgage and a late model car, plenty of food in the house at all times yet I still get annoyed when I have a number of social engagements in one month because I feel like I can't afford it. I think for me it's not a case of being ungrateful for what we have but rather I want to maintain friendships as I know how important they are to my well being, but I feel like it ends up costing us $60-80 for a dinner out or $100+ if its for a bucks, hens, or set menu.
    I hear you on the costs thing. At times I absolutely resent spending the money on these things. DD1 was a flower girl at a friends wedding, I had to pay $70 for her dress, $50 for her hair and makeup, $30 for a cardigan and tights and cheap shoes, then (as it was a destination wedding) pay for fuel and accommodation (so another $200 plus) and then put something in the blardy wishing well! It didn't bankrupt us or anything but it was several hundred dollars I couldn't help wanting to not spend!! But how can you say no? Tbh, had I realised I would have to pay so much or DD, I'd have considered saying no.
    We don't have a mortgage but pay rent and a car loan - but I have been truly close to poverty in the past- think not enough money to eat properly, phones cut off, behind in rent. I know how anxious and sick that made me, I guess I'm always scared of ending up back there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    But is it the case that the middle class as a whole has redefined what it means to be 'poor' ?

    I think somewhere in the article it says that it's not about not having enough to survive, it's simply about not being rich.

    Coupled with social changes that mean things like private school or dining out are now a legitimate choice for middle Australia so there's a social imperative - or at least expectation - the they will make the most of having these choices available to them.

    So it's not simply individual greed, it's a broader social change.
    Yes, certain things that were once reserved for the well off, like frequent eating out, are now normal expected things for the middle class.

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    I'm guilty of feeling like this, I have to consciously remind myself we have a roof over our heads, food, clothes, a car and the ability to put fuel in it, we have electricity, running water, access to health care, jasper in preschool, access to schooling for him next year, we have smart phones and home internet! - we're SO MUCH better off than so many people in the world.

    It's just a bit disheartening when there are things we want and can't have, or social events we can go to or whatever it might be. We have to save and plan and weigh up. Sometimes I'd be nice to be able to just do stuff or buy stuff!

    Also whenever there are threads on "how much should I spend on a wedding gift" or whatever other questions, I just feel like we should just never go to weddings or social things because it's too scary.

    Though we use the phrase "out of budget" rather than "too poor". Because that's the truth. We might be able to pull the money from somewhere but it means sacrificing it from somewhere else.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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