The past few comments have made me look back on my life as an 11 year old and remember that my mom had severe depression during that time. To be honest, I never noticed. Looking back in hindsight I can remember specific things and know as an adult that that was definitely a time when she was doing really bad. But while it was happening, when I was 11? No I didn't notice, I just carried on with my 11 year old ways (did my homework after school, went out to play, played in my room, watched tv, etc). I can remember getting upset when she would get so angry at my dad, but that's it, my thoughts wouldn't have gone beyond not understanding why she was so angry because to me all I saw was my parents fighting and I would want them to stop--like any child. I also know I would have been far too embarrassed to tell anybody anything I did notice due to being embarrassed for myself and being protective of my mom, I would never have wanted her to get into trouble. I was never neglected though, she still made dinner every night, made sure I had a bath, did my hair every morning. Nobody outside our home would have known she was struggling, but she was also lucky enough to have a supportive husband.
I feel lucky as well that I have my DH. So thankful I have somebody willing to hold on to me when I'm falling, who doesn't get frustrated with me when I have days where I miss work because the anxiety of getting out of bed is too much. And so thankful I can be honest with him about some of the awful thoughts that cross my mind and know that he's not going to judge me or think I'm crazy, that he understands that I just need to talk about them. I feel like I should bake him a cake now!
+ Reply to Thread
Results 191 to 200 of 235
16-08-2013 12:29 #191-
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
16-08-2013 12:33 #192-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
16-08-2013 12:50 #193Junior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
An article about it all:
A mother's online musings reveal few hints of the fate awaiting her '2 lil cuties',
Dumaresq Street is in Sunnybank Hills, a rolling commuter suburb in Brisbane's south, where middle-class families live in middle-class brick-and-tile homes. It's a good street in a good neighbourhood, but bad things happen even in good places.
Last week those on Dumaresq Street discovered that 18-month-old twins Lily and Zaide had been living in their midst. They learned of their existence after police removed their starved bodies.
In the physical world, few living close to the family knew of the twins, but in their mother's online world, plenty did.
They knew when they were born, what they looked like, and what milk formula they drank. They saw their smiling, chubby faces, they heard a mother's delight at their arrival. They heard hints of problems, although nothing to indicate that the twins would be found decomposing in their cot.
Police allege that the toddlers were left to die by parents who, apparently, once loved them.
The mum may have ignored her neighbours, but she embraced mothers' forums and her MySpace friends. She posted regular messages from at least 2006, mostly about the twins, their impending arrival and her subsequent struggle to cope.
She wrote only a little about her partner - and he does not appear to be an active web user - but she disclosed much about herself.
She is 165 centimetres tall, white and an atheist. She does not smoke, but is partial to the odd rum and cola. She loves Australia, Queensland and rugby league, supporting the Maroons and the Broncos.
She's a "proud parent" who became pregnant in early 2006 despite having an contraceptive device implanted the previous year. The couple grew to want the twins after nearly losing them during pregnancy.
The parents finished their schooling at nearby Mabel Park State High in 1996, and had planned to marry this year, preferably on a beach, although the Brisbane Magistrates Court heard last week of a broken relationship. (the father, his lawyer said, had not seen the twins since Christmas, and slept in a separate room to the mother, but police said he had to walk past the twins' bedroom to get to his.)
MySpace is jammed with mundane personal trivia, and the mother added her share. She dislikes rude people and drink drivers, she's stubborn, and she wants to meet the former league star Wally Lewis. She likes pop music (Timbaland, Powderfinger and Eskimo Joe), blockbuster movies (The Fast And The Furious, Troy and Bad Boys II), and reading trashy romance. Her favourite TV program is The Footy Show.
She posted a poem saying "I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby", and Bob Marley lyrics - "who are you to judge the life i live?"
She wanted badly to win the lottery and to kick "no hopers" out of her family. She confessed she had felt like killing someone, but added "lol", chatroom slang for "laugh out loud".
She's been cheated on, ridden in a police car and been stabbed in the back by friends. She likes shopping, sleeping and herself ("pretty much so"). She has supportive real and foster mothers, believes in love at first sight, and sings in her car.
She added a proverb for modern times: "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life."
In September 2006, while pregnant, she suspected her partner was having an affair - thanks to suspicious mobile phone messages - but there was little further mention of relationship problems. Lily and Zaide, her "2 lil cuties", were born on December 27 at Logan Hospital. Zaide weighed nearly 3 kilograms, Lily 2.28. Photos were online within days, and the mother was back to the forums within a month, fretting about their feeding and weight.
By March 2007 Zaide was 4.9 kilograms and not sleeping much, while Lily was 4 kilograms and sleeping a lot. the mother was happy, apart from the sleepless nights. "I am @ peace with my life and having a ball," she wrote. "As [an] only child, I always wanted a larger family."
By May, things had changed. She complained that the father drank five beers a day after work. She told him if he ever drove drunk, she would call the police "as I did once [in] the past as a scare".
She took to tipping his beer down the sink. Her partner was "too placid" to argue. "Sounds so bad, I know, but I really dislike alcohol and he likes it, but he's a great partner and dad also, so I will do anything to help him while he can't see the whole problem himself."
She said she was "doing great while the twins are babies BUT I am scared about when they get mobile." Late that month, she wrote: "I am finding I am drowning since I had the kids." She couldn't find a routine, and "it's killing me".
A fortnight later, she had lost interest in "so much" since having the twins, and was struggling to lose 30 kilograms. "I have never ever been so big, I need to get my life in order and then I feel everything else will fall in place."
It didn't. Her MySpace page says she last logged in on June 6, a couple of days before she noticed that the twins were dead, according to the account she gave police. Her mood was listed as "drained".
Her best friend, who lives in Britain, left a message asking for her mobile number again and telling her "luv ya heaps miss ya millions". It was posted at 7.32pm on June 15.
The next day a relative called the police. They found the twins decomposing in their cot. One, probably Zaide, weighed 4 kilograms, Lily 3.6. They should have been three times that.
The forums the mother used to visit now carry postings from other mothers asking how this could have happened. One tells journalists who may be reading to "f--- off", but journalists, too, follow the mother's footsteps, seeking answers to how two healthy and loved twins could possibly have starved to death, in an ordinary cot, in an ordinary house, in an ordinary suburb.
Despite all the mother wrote online, nothing answers that.
16-08-2013 13:03 #194
After moderator discussion and due to the fact the case is no longer going trough the courts the thread will be reopened. Please be mindful of gossiping about the mother and jut stick to what has been reported.
*the bass, the rock, the mic, the treble, I like my coffee black just like my metal*
Last edited by Mod-Myztik; 16-08-2013 at 15:10.
16-08-2013 18:05 #195
It's so sad and tragic that this happened, so many failures let these poor twins down.
The Following User Says Thank You to V8 For This Useful Post:
16-08-2013 18:14 #196
After reading what was posted up above and now wishing I hadn't, I can't help my sympathy dwindling for the mother, I can't help it when I read about the fate of 2 tiny little children, the same age as my DS. I understand mental illness and I still do feel for her and I don't put blame on her, but I feel for the children so, so much more.
It's a disgrace as a society that this happened in a house with several adults and a child at school that this was not picked up somewhere along the line leaves me beyond sad and really in disbelief. Starvation is not quick and this sounds like it went on for a long time.
16-08-2013 18:15 #197
I am so glad the mods decided to reopen this thread. We need to talk about cases like this, if we ever want change. Silence is part of the problem.
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to onionskin For This Useful Post:
beebs (17-08-2013),CicerFabaceaexxxx (16-08-2013),dancingchipmunk (16-08-2013),delirium (16-08-2013),Ffrenchknickers (16-08-2013),GreenMama (16-08-2013),HippyGirl85 (17-08-2013),kezanazz (16-08-2013),LoveLivesHere (16-08-2013),MilkingMaid (16-08-2013),MissMuppet (16-08-2013),NancyBlackett (16-08-2013),Patience Belmont (17-08-2013),~Marigold~ (17-08-2013)
16-08-2013 18:26 #198
The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:
16-08-2013 18:43 #199
16-08-2013 18:44 #200Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Impressionable KidsImpressionable Kids are Australia's leader in framed children's memorabilia and specialise in framed baby hand and feet ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Missed mini pill and unprotected sex helpConception & Fertility General Chat
Cashless society - all for it, or disagree?General Chat
Funniest thing your kid has said to youGeneral Chat
Growth Of Intellection. Discussion?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Really fast letdown causing vomiting?Breastfeeding Support
IUI QueryNon-IVF fertility assistance