As many regulars probably know my exH and I have a very good co parenting relationship. The only stipulation I've ever had is that his GF (who was my best friend he had an affair with while I was 5 months pregnant with our second) is not to look after my boys on her own. This isn't just a spiteful, controlling request. She used to tell me things she did to her step son (rubbed his face in pee cos he kept dribbling on the floor, tipped his dinner on his head cos he was taking too long to finish. Etc.). I also witnessed her really belittling and speaking to him like a dog. Mentally and emotionally abusing him.
My other friend and I felt really terrible about not stepping in sooner. But regardless I've asked that he not have my boys with her alone. Obviously she is regularly around them with him and I don't have any issue with that, nor have I told him how to parent or anything else - just that one point alone.
Well today he decided to leave them with her while he went to uni. Tonight is usually my night anyway but he said he could watch them cos I was sick. Which I thought was wonderful. Now I'm absolutely seething with him and just so upset. I'm sure she wound t hurt them in that time. They don't live together so it would be more like a little babysitting thing. Bit I'm missing those kids like crazy and to find out she has them on MY night has made my blood boil. My mum or sisters could've watched them. If I knew he was busy I wouldn't have accepted his offer to have them....
Sorry just ex venting - which doesn't happen often.
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13-08-2013 17:44 #1
I am so wild!!!
Last edited by Theboys&me; 13-08-2013 at 18:21.
13-08-2013 17:52 #2
I would be upset too. Purely on the basis of that knowledge of what she was like with other children.
13-08-2013 18:01 #3
13-08-2013 18:16 #4Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
That's absolutely disgusting behaviour, I'd much rather someone refuse to watch my child than have anyone treat him that way.
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13-08-2013 18:21 #5
Your feelings are absolutely justified. I wouldnt want her anywhere near my children either.
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13-08-2013 18:40 #6
13-08-2013 19:07 #7
oh gosh, you poor thing, you must be sick with worry. I'd be seething too. Hopefully its not the start of many occasions where he decides its okay to leave your boys with her.
13-08-2013 19:18 #8
13-08-2013 19:43 #9
13-08-2013 20:37 #10
Yeah I know. The people who knew him and her are completely amazed by it. He honestly used to be a very level headed, mature, responsible, caring person. It's like overnight he had a personality transplant. She's never been well liked (I genuinely liked her though - she's very funny) and its like the mismatch of the century. I can still very clearly recall conversations we had sometimes after being in hers and her then husbands company (she has her own kids too). My ex would regularly declare 'thank god she's not my wife, I don't know how he puts up with her.'
I've reminded him of this early in the separation and he says she's changed. I've known this girl for 16 years. Trust me .... She doesn't 'change' for long. I actually hope she has changed in regards to how she treats other children in her care (she never once treated her own children this way. Just her step son, hence my worry).
I know there is nothing I can do but I really wish there was. A part of me wishes the two of them would relocate overseas ... But my boys would miss their daddy so much. Without her involvement he really is an amazing dad and I'm glad my boys have him. I wish I could set him up with one of my lovely single friends. A nice one. Imagine that
Thanks everyone for responding. I seldom vent about him because I think he is a good person - it's the sidekick that's the problem.
Last edited by Theboys&me; 13-08-2013 at 20:40.
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