My nearly 14 year old daughter was pushing her baby brother in the pram at the shops two days ago.
I was at the checkout and it must have looked like she was on her own with him, because an old man came up to her and told her that she was going to hell for having a child so young. She was rather shocked and upset as you can imagine.
I walked up to them just in time to hear the end of his rant. I had already guessed that something unpleasant was going on from her expression.
To say I was angry is an understatement. I told him that it was none of his business if she had a child or not, and that if heaven was filled with judgmental idiots like him that I would take hell any day of the week. I then pointed out that the Bible says 'judge not lest you be judged. I then turned around and thanked my daughter for minding her brother for me. At which point we left.
What makes people think they have the right to judge others? My daughter is brilliant with her brother (he is 9 weeks old by the way) and does act as though he was hers occasionally. But what makes him think he has the right to see someone with a baby and pass judgment on them?
I'm still angry even now, and my daughter is a little bit worried about taking the baby in the pram anymore. She says she's not but she won't move away from me now if she's pushing him in public.
Have you come across assumptions made by strangers that have annoyed you or angered you?
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13-08-2013 09:07 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
Assumptions of strangers that anger you
13-08-2013 09:11 #2
That happened to me constantly when I was 12 and my brother was born.
And now I'm obviously pregnant I get filthy looks from people when I'm out with my charges... I look younger than I am (i still get asked for ID whwrever i go) and people assume I have 2 kids and one on the way.
13-08-2013 09:18 #3
I have no clue why anyone would take it upon themselves to lecture a complete stranger like that. I would be furious too! And it's kinda sad that your daughter is now reluctant to be seen alone in public with her baby brother.
I have no examples that instantly come to mind, though I'll come back and post if I remember anything.
13-08-2013 09:19 #4
Oh what an awful old man! Your poor DD, if that we're me I probably would have cried! I hope it doesn't put her off caring for your DS in public. She sounds like an awesome big sister.
Good on you for sticking up for her and telling that grumpy old man to mind his own business. Seriously who walks up to people and says stuff like that? I would have loved to have seen his face when you both walked off!
13-08-2013 09:42 #5
My sister used to get looks when she pushed DS1 in the pram. She was 15 when I had him.
She went to a baby show with me when I was pregnant and one of the people there asked if we were doing an assignment for school because "we were too young to be pregnant." I ignored him and kept walking.
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13-08-2013 09:52 #6
I used to get alot of side glances when I would babysit my little brother when I was 18. No one ever said anything negative but the looks would say it all. It is no one's business though!
13-08-2013 09:55 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
We get similar looks when my teenage son pushes his sisters pram. It's even worse that I look younger than I am & they look at us strange as if we are a couple!!
13-08-2013 09:55 #8
I used to work as a property manager and was doing a house inspection, I had a picture of my daughter on my key ring and the tenant asked me if I was married cause I wasn't wearing a ring...
I told in him no my partner and I weren't married and he went on to tell me that if we were in his country unwed mothers would be punished by law.... So I went on to tell him luckily I live in Australia and its none of his business!!! Some people just need to keep the opinions to themselves.
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13-08-2013 10:08 #9
Grr people can be so rude! Things like this really irk me. What gives people the right to pass judgement on others then verbalise those thoughts?
I used to cop a fair bit of crap from people when I worked in a supermarket. I have suffered from eczema all my life and the comments I used to put up with were awful. Many many times I had to fight back tears and all because people can't keep their stupid mouths shut. Even my poor mother used to cop it from old biddies pointing and staring at me. She even had one woman tell her that "that child is dirty and disgusting and she should be taken off you". OMFG people suck!!!!!
Hugs to you OP and to your DD
13-08-2013 10:20 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
Ever since I got preggers in Sept 09 and from them on I have underactive thyroid and yes I am a bit chubby I look exhausted, makeup hides some of the tiredness but I feel hurt when people stare at me with 2 boisterous children and you can see them openly stare and think my god isn't she a right mess. I want to cry and say mind your own b business. Everyone has their own struggles in life, please leave me alone.
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