My DD has my surname thank goodness and I'm proud of that. We have a big family on my dads side so she'll always feel part of the family if that makes sense
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12-08-2013 20:01 #31
12-08-2013 20:08 #32
I have my name, my three kids have DP's.
The only time I've ever had a 'problem' is when DS2&DDs teacher can't recall my surname, but it is all joked about.
If your surname is very unique and special to you, and you think you would find a great deal of identity by changed back to it - go for it!
12-08-2013 20:58 #33
I took hubby's name as it was kids surname( ok one kid at time)Yes at school makes it a lot easier. Eldest at highschool, so easily embarrassed especially that she has parents lol. But I know for her us having same name helps. Heck I have no idea just going on hat my kids have told me....please no flame throwers
12-08-2013 21:04 #34
The kids have a double barrel surname. DFs-mine.
We are now engaged and when we get married I don't know if I'll change.
We like that fact that when they are older the can choose to keep it how it is, or only keep one.
It doesn't really bother me as my name is there.
The only thing I didn't like was reading an opinion piece a while ago about double barrel surnames being pretentious (I think that's the word that was used to describe it). We only did it this way to recognise they are 'our' children.
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12-08-2013 22:55 #35
12-08-2013 23:58 #36
I kept my name and never intended on changing it and never will. I don't have any probs with my son having my husband's last name. I know he's mine and I gave birth to him (gotta hold onto that because he doesn't look like me at all) and that's all that matters. If we ever split I don't need to change anything and his dad would still be his dad and have the connection of his last name. I don't like hyphenating so wouldn't do it.
Don't worry about what ppl think when they see different names. At my old work I used to talk to parents where mum and dad had diff names and the child had a completely different surname to both parents! Could never get my head around that...and it wasn't like they were adopted kids or anything.
13-08-2013 02:19 #37-
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I have a different name from my kids. I changed back a year after I seperated from their father.
I actually am a tad envious of them keeping my ex husbands name as it is such a cool name and my maiden name is so bland.
I have never had anyone say anything about me having a different last name then the kids. Mostly people get stuck on asking about my first name which I admit is very cool (it is a shortened version of my first name).
I have never had any negitivity and really my kids are mini clones of me so there is no question if they are mine or not.
13-08-2013 05:11 #38
13-08-2013 05:27 #39
I was never really attached to my maiden name (it's really bland and doesn't suit my foreign first name) so had no issues changing my name. I love having the same surname to my children and if one day for some reason dh and I split, I will still keep it. We have discussed it and he is fine with that.
He has a child from a previous relation ship when he was younger and I know there was a bit of conflict between him and his ex over her wanting to change dsd surname to hers. Dh and I ended up having a chat about it once and he has realised she is not just being hurtful but it is important to her as she deals with drs, schools etc on a daily basis so I'm happy to say he has now signed the paperwork however we always let dsd know she is free to change it back ( our shout) when she is older.
13-08-2013 06:09 #40
Pesca I totally get why you feel the way you do and despise your surname. No question if it were me I would change back to my own name. It will be symbolic for you and will also send a strong message not just to him but to the world.
I know people (women) always say its just a name and doesn't mean anything, but I strongly disagree with this. I think women should consider not just keeping their name but giving their children their names too. DS has my surname and I love it.
I personally feel like if you keep his surname you are honouring him in a way. But of course that's only my feeling.
if the situation were reversed, would he keep your surname?
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