My girls actually love that I have a different surname and tell people they get to choose when they get older (which isn't anything I've said to them they just figure it that way).
I would never in a million years change my surname.
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12-08-2013 20:04 #11
12-08-2013 20:04 #12
I'm not up to this particular issue (yet), Pesca, but just to give you another perspective: I hated my surname growing up. I had nothing to do with my dad and hated being saddled with his name, which was also difficult to spell and pronounce. Even worse, though, I couldn't understand why my mother kept his name when he treated her so poorly. I would have loved her to change it back.
12-08-2013 20:17 #13
I did take my husbands name, but if we were ever to split I would go back to my maiden name. It wouldn't worry me that the girls would have his name and I wouldn't.
12-08-2013 20:18 #14
12-08-2013 20:19 #15-
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
My kids have my surname, but I don't think DP has had any issues regarding the different names (They all look so much more like him than me, so people can usually tell he's their dad!) But I've always said that they can change their surnames to DP's or hyphenate to include his surname if they want to when they're older.
Just from my perspective as a child - My parents divorced when I was in Primary school and my Mum changed her name back to her maiden name within a couple of years after that. She went on to remarry, but still kept her maiden name.
I was actually quite proud because Mum has always been very independent and I felt it was the right decision for her. I think it helped her move on too. I think the only issues she had was people automatically assuming her surname was the same as mine, when writing it on forms etc.
Last edited by 1234Guest; 12-08-2013 at 20:36.
12-08-2013 20:21 #16
I find it really annoying when I'm making appointments for us. I have to correct them so they get the right names down and there is always an awkward pause on the phone.
Other than that I haven't found any other problems.
I'm pretty sure I will change it when I get married. I can definitely understand why you would want to change yours.
Sent from my telecommunications device.
12-08-2013 20:26 #17
Never been an issue, no one's ever batted an eyelid. I reckon half the mums on my DD's year 1 contact list have a different last name to their child.
12-08-2013 20:32 #18
12-08-2013 20:37 #19
I do hope my boys don't feel that way when older. Despite what he's done, I'm doing everything possible to encourage a healthy relationship between the boys and their father. But one day they will be old enough to understand what he's done and may feel the same way as you did, so it's a good perspective.
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12-08-2013 20:42 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
DS has ex's name...DD and I have DH's...it did not start causing issues until this year. DS is really unhappy about it and wants to change his name...which is not going to happen.
I have changed his name at karate and he is happy with that for now.
He feels left out and it makes me really sad
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