Firstly let me say congratulations on your pregnancy. I wish you a smooth journey from here on.
Now I'm going to say something which may be unpopular... I think sometimes we IVFers can forget that ALL children are precious. I do not believe that IVF children are any more precious or loved by their parents than children conceived naturally. Your sister is also a mother of FOUR. Waiting for all four children to be completely germ free might mean she might hardly ever see anyone!! I think you have to accept that you have different priorities ... Yours is getting your precious cargo safely into this world. Your sisters are the four she has already brought into the world and is now trying to get them safely and happily through . She has a different perspective to you. Both of you need to be tolerant of each other's point of view and just try not to get offended by each other for the next year or so.
Unsolicited and unwanted advice comes from everywhere for first time mothers!!! You need to find a way to take what you can use and discard the rest without being too offended ... Otherwise people will drive you mad!!
Just another point of view ...
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24-10-2013 11:23 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
24-10-2013 12:15 #22
I think the Penguins of Madagascar said it best: smile and wave.
Welcome to the world of unsolicited advice. Grin and bear it and you'll be fine. Once bub is born, you'll move away from pregnancy advice and onto the parenting advice! Listen, say thank you if the occasion requires it, and trust your own judgement.
24-10-2013 12:55 #23
I'm coping much better with it now thanks My sis has accepted that if I want advice I'll ask for it, so things are much better between us. I guess I just wasn't prepared at the beginning for all this stuff to come flooding my way!
02-10-2014 20:32 #24Junior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2014
I'm glad I come a cross this thread, I found out two days ago I'm pregnant post IVF/ICSI #1. My sister is very jealous, has a 3 year old daughter but has also had several miscarriages pre and post birth of my niece.
Not even 24hrs after finding out (after 6 yrs of fertility treatment) she says "prepare yourself for the worst, you might have a miscarriage or the pregnancy may not progress"
TOTALLY knocked the wind out of me and I have been miserable and paranoid ever since!!
I feel so unsupported, she never said congratulations when I seen her or anything I got a txt message saying "I heard, congrats" that's it!
Obviously I'm emotional and sensitive but I just find it so rude, fertility treatment and past disappointments have already stolen a lot of my excitement and this is just the icing on the cake!!
03-12-2014 11:48 #25
I'm not even pregnant and already getting judged! I was describing this really cool bottle with tube that I saw that allows you to pop a dummy in the baby's mouth to let it feed and put the bottle outside the crib or carseat or whatever when you're on the run, and a woman I know who has just had her first baby all of 5 minutes ago broke in on the conversation and said, "Oh I don't agree with using stuff like that, feeding is a time for bonding with your baby. It's just wrong." Then made a judgy noise and titched at me as she shook her head.
I felt like saying: "**** off and go bond with your baby then, you opinionated wench!"
Obviously I wasn't talking about using it as a matter of habit. People need a good quality karate kick in the throat sometimes and to keep their mouth shut.
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