Hugs OP, I know how you feel. I have suffered EDs my entire teenage/adult life and it's soul destroying. I hate pregnancy especially... I can't deal with the weight even though I know it's the best for my baby. People tell me not to worry and it all comes off but it's all I think about. Makes me feel so guilty.
It's really hard to be told your feelings are irrelevant and you couldn't understand. This is going the other way but I remember my first group therapy and I was told by one of the girls I was too big to be in an ED recovery group... It threw me so much! I was too small to be considered healthy but too big to be considered sick?! Argh.
If you ever need to talk PM me. I hope you're doing ok xxx
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04-08-2013 09:34 #11Senior Member
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04-08-2013 09:37 #12Senior Member
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- Sep 2005
I have not suffered with food issues in a huge way myself but as a child I was very thin and always wanted to be normal. After I had my son I stacked on quite a bit of weight and it has taken me forever to shift, I'm nearly there. So I can I a small way relate, it's hard when you are not happy with your body...
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04-08-2013 14:59 #13
Hugs to you also anjalee, it's the worst thing in my life and the longest standing
04-08-2013 14:59 #14
Good work on nearly being at your goal sunny.
04-08-2013 15:16 #15
I can so relate to this... I'm finding putting on the pregnancy weight so difficult to deal with I feel disgusting and unfortunately that fuels my emotional eating.
I'd say I do not have a good relationship with food and no matter if I'm 20 kgs lighter I still only see the fat and the negatives.
When I'm in control I'm really strict, when I'm outta control there are just no limits, I hate living this way, it's exhausting.
But I kind of shelved it all during the pregnancy, I just can't think about food like that, so I'm doing my best, not easy!
04-08-2013 15:21 #16
I myself consider myself large and have friends who to me are perfect, but they feel like I do, doesn't matter size it's an issue that can affect anyone and nobody should judge anyone else based on how much they weigh.
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04-08-2013 15:23 #17
I'm not a skinny woman- I'm curvaceous and I'm often told I'm "a real woman" or "real women have curves". I actually find the inference offensive that any other shaped/size woman is somehow not "real". I can only imagine the frustration of being judged for being thin. I've observed a lot of jealousy in women toward slim women. We all have our battles and are all beautiful in our own way. I wish women were more supportive of each other.
04-08-2013 15:45 #18
I must admit, that when my 55kg mother b*tches about being fat, I tend to zone out and feel very little sympathy for her... I've been more than double that. I suppose it's like someone on $100K a year, whinging to someone who's getting by on $20K a year. Yeah, okay, so maybe life isn't as good as it has been before, but it's still not exactly comparable. When you don't pick your audience well, you can hardly expect a positive reaction.
I don't think that means a slimmer person cannot offer decent advice though... I think they've just to be really careful about acting as if they understand completely. Same as I could express sympathy and offer advice to someone who's lost a child, it would be absolutely stupid of me to act like I know what they're going through because I once lost my cat.
I dunno, I think it's all about picking your audience and choosing your words carefully.
I must admit that I often feel I have to say, "I used to be over 100kg," when ever I related to a woman lamenting her obesity. They look at me like, "Wtf would you know?" and I feel I have to clarify. It's a strange place to be... inside I'll always be a fat girl, on the outside though, I don't look fat enough to be on their team.
04-08-2013 15:54 #19
I so get all of this. I'm 170cm and at 15 was 72kg (size 12). I was big busted and had a tiny waist but was still referred to as a big girl (I was actually referred to as the big girl with the pretty face. People thought this was a compliment. It made me hate my body more than ever. Like my looks were being ruined by my body). It made me look at food like it was the enemy. At 18 I was 79kg (first year of uni, lots of drinking and maccas at 3am). I loathed myself but the partying cycle was well in swing. I started eating less (too much less) during the day to try and compensate.
By my last year of uni I was over partying and lost 8kg so was back to a size 12. I felt pretty good at this point. I'd say my best stage in relation to my food relationship.
10 years ago after many health issues I was diagnosed with a few prominent food allergies. Cue complete lifestyle change and a gradual loss of 6kg over 6 months which put me at a size 10.
Despite eating the best diet I have in my whole life for the past 10 years it has been very hard psychologically. Since being a size 10 I feel like I HAVE to stay here. Why? I don't really know, but the pressure I put on myself is huge and I think about food all day. I record everything I eat. I hate it. If I gain a kilo I can't think about anything else. I feel like a nutcase.
I let all this out to a friend one day (who isn't overweight, is probably a size 12). She had a big go at me and said others would give their right arm to look like me and i should get over myself. I felt 100 times worse. Like I'm not allowed to feel trapped in this obsessive food cycle. Have kept my mouth shut ever since. Until this post.
Thanks for listening and big hugs to everyone.
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