I don't teach stranger danger. My kids will not talk to anyone. They are shy until they get to know someone and are basically shy of any grownups even the ones they have known their whole life who we see on a regular basis. I have no idea how they'd cope if they were to ever get lost
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02-08-2013 15:43 #11Senior Member
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02-08-2013 16:02 #12
He knows if he is ever lost in a shopping centre/playground/anywhere that he is to approach a mum with children. He is allowed to tell this person his address and phone number and let her be 'in charge'.
I have talked with him a lot about his body and what is acceptable and what is not. I don't want him to think only strangers are dangerous, as the vast majority of sexual abuse happens by people known to the child.
I guess my main issue is that sometimes it could be a necessity to talk to a stranger, and this shouldn't be scary. And sadly, it is not only strangers that do bad things.
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02-08-2013 16:02 #13
No but I do teach them about personal safety when they are walking home from school or out and about.
02-08-2013 16:10 #14
Missie Mack - that is an EXCELLENT blog and linking website. Thanks.
02-08-2013 16:11 #15
02-08-2013 18:03 #16
My parents drilled stranger danger into my sister and I as kids so much that we were terrified of anyone who talked to us. Not ideal.
02-08-2013 18:17 #17
I think kids instinctively know when something or somebody isn't right. DS is only two but I try to teach him to follow his instincts. I never force him to hug anybody & I never force him to kiss anybody. Coming from a European background, a lot of the older generation think its okay to pick him up for hugs and kisses after meeting him for the first time and he's kicking and screaming. I normally ask them to respect his wishes and put him down.
02-08-2013 20:48 #18
I've taught my children to be polite, trust their instincts but most importantly to stick by myself or DH whenever we're out. My kids can generally pick up my vibe if we meet someone or are near someone that my instincts are saying 'No' about and they don't say anything. It's absolutely uncanny they way it happens.
But they do speak to strangers, if someone says 'oh what a lovely dress' or 'doesn't your brother have beautiful eyes'. People at the check out and at shops or restaurants. I didn't want them to be afraid, I wanted them to learn to trust themselves but I make sure they do it under a very watchful eye and make sure to explain things to them.
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Patience Belmont (03-08-2013)
02-08-2013 20:52 #19
02-08-2013 20:56 #20
I don't teach her not to talk to strangers. I do allow her to get a gut feeling, I tell her that she is not to wonder off with people, if she loses me or DH or Aunty that she is to look for a shop lady or a mummy (sexist? yes, but I am going with the odds on this) or a police person and ask for help but to stay put and I will come to her. DD also knows my mobile number, but I don't count on her remembering that if she is upset.
I really try not to push her to talk to people if she is not certain about them, I just let her get comfortable and if she doesn't get comfortable, then it is ok for her to be reserved.
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