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  1. #11
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    I don't teach stranger danger. My kids will not talk to anyone. They are shy until they get to know someone and are basically shy of any grownups even the ones they have known their whole life who we see on a regular basis. I have no idea how they'd cope if they were to ever get lost

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by AM View Post
    Can you elaborate, I think perhaps I need a few more ideas!!
    Mainly just spending a lot of time going through different scenarios about what is ok and what is not ok, so he gets a feel for 'normal' behaviour. For example, ds knows that only certain people are allowed to pick him up from school and I would never send someone he has never met to pick him up, and we have talked about why that is important.

    He knows if he is ever lost in a shopping centre/playground/anywhere that he is to approach a mum with children. He is allowed to tell this person his address and phone number and let her be 'in charge'.

    I have talked with him a lot about his body and what is acceptable and what is not. I don't want him to think only strangers are dangerous, as the vast majority of sexual abuse happens by people known to the child.

    I guess my main issue is that sometimes it could be a necessity to talk to a stranger, and this shouldn't be scary. And sadly, it is not only strangers that do bad things.

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  4. #13
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    No but I do teach them about personal safety when they are walking home from school or out and about.

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by schmetterling18 View Post
    No, I would never tell my children not to talk to strangers.

    There are far more effective methods to teach about safety, IMO.
    this

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    My parents drilled stranger danger into my sister and I as kids so much that we were terrified of anyone who talked to us. Not ideal.

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    I think kids instinctively know when something or somebody isn't right. DS is only two but I try to teach him to follow his instincts. I never force him to hug anybody & I never force him to kiss anybody. Coming from a European background, a lot of the older generation think its okay to pick him up for hugs and kisses after meeting him for the first time and he's kicking and screaming. I normally ask them to respect his wishes and put him down.

  9. #18
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    I've taught my children to be polite, trust their instincts but most importantly to stick by myself or DH whenever we're out. My kids can generally pick up my vibe if we meet someone or are near someone that my instincts are saying 'No' about and they don't say anything. It's absolutely uncanny they way it happens.

    But they do speak to strangers, if someone says 'oh what a lovely dress' or 'doesn't your brother have beautiful eyes'. People at the check out and at shops or restaurants. I didn't want them to be afraid, I wanted them to learn to trust themselves but I make sure they do it under a very watchful eye and make sure to explain things to them.

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  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I always remember an Oprah episode when the police Sargent gave hints on protecting your kids - he said you must allow them to interact with strangers in everyday life so they get to know what "normal " behaviour is - plus I think it helps build up their confidence

    DS knows all our shop keepers by name and says hello/goodbye, he now orders his own food if a waiter comes over and loves taking the bill up to the counter to pay
    So how does this deter him from speaking to sinister strangers?

  12. #20
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    I don't teach her not to talk to strangers. I do allow her to get a gut feeling, I tell her that she is not to wonder off with people, if she loses me or DH or Aunty that she is to look for a shop lady or a mummy (sexist? yes, but I am going with the odds on this) or a police person and ask for help but to stay put and I will come to her. DD also knows my mobile number, but I don't count on her remembering that if she is upset.

    I really try not to push her to talk to people if she is not certain about them, I just let her get comfortable and if she doesn't get comfortable, then it is ok for her to be reserved.


 

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