Most of you know my story.
For those who don't ive had a on and off again relationship with the kids dad, 7 years its been going for.
He has been seeing someone since I was pregnant with our son (now 3)
While he was with her he was also with me, she knew she didn't care.
I was hoping if I did what he wanted me to, he would come home. I wanted my kids to have their dad back home.
He didn't come home and I'm now starting to move on, saying no to him. It's nice to be able to finally say no.
But last year I fell pregnant to him, 3 days after I got the BFP I terminated. I rushed it because I didn't want to have time to think about it, but I've regretted it ever since.
Last month I found out his partner got pregnant 3 weeks after I did. She kept her baby and is due next month.
I'm really not coping with this.
For ages our daughter has been asking me to have another baby, now this other woman is giving her The sibling she's been asking for.
They finally told my daughter about the pregnancy and she is over the moon, I'm trying to keep it together and act excited but its so hard, I'm so angry and I can feel that I'm about to snap.
I'm trying to be mature about it and brought the kids a gift to give to their brother, but ever since I brought the gift I just have so much anger. I thought I was handling it, but I'm not and soon the baby will be born and I have no idea how I'm going to cope, I know I'm not going to want to see the kids dad but he comes for dinner every Friday. I just wish I could walk away from my ex and never have to see or talk to him again, I'm so sick of the pain he causes me. He still tells me he loves me and thinks we need each other and will always have this connection. I just want to run away.
I don't know the point of this post, I just need to get it out.
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01-08-2013 22:41 #1
01-08-2013 22:47 #2
Oh hun how horrible!!! I'm sorry I don't have any advice.
01-08-2013 22:50 #3
No advice just want to offer some *hugs*
i have read many of your threads I'm so sorry your going through this and feeling so down
01-08-2013 23:19 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I don't know what advice to give, but I felt your pain reading this. What a strong woman you are to have dealt with all you have so rationally so far. Nobody would blame you for being at your wits end, nor wanting to escape him for a while (I totally get that, just live like they never even existed). All my best wishes for you, one positive I can share is often when you reach what looks the end of a road, all you have left to do is create a new one, and embrace the big opportunity for great change to your life. Xx
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02-08-2013 06:17 #5
Gee that's really tough, and I can completely understand where your feelings are coming from.
Sometimes time is the only thing that takes the edge away.
No advice, but ((hugs))
02-08-2013 06:21 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
Hugs, completely understandable how you are feeling.
02-08-2013 06:35 #7
Oh gosh that's an emotional rollercoaster to go through. No wonder you're about to break.
My suggestion would be to seek counseling if you're not already. Also I would be telling your x-DH that you need space and there will be no more dinner at your place. If you want, meet at a mutual friend or a public place. He can't keep saying he loves you. Tell him to stop that. It just F's with your emotions.
You need to start making your own life now. Take the time to heal and grieve, it's important.
Lastly, lots of hugs your way!!
02-08-2013 06:48 #8
Oh gosh, what a cr@ppy situation! You're doing the right thing but being brave infront of the kids but I think you need to distance yourself a bit from him. I know it's hard when you still love him but you need to, for your own sake. Huge hugs!
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02-08-2013 06:50 #9
How you are feeling Bexter it totally understandable. I know exactly what you're talking about. Message me if you want to chat/need to just vent.
Ive reached a point where I no longer even think about DS's dad and care zero fir him, but I do feel resentful that I've been so sickly nice to him through it all. I wanted to be the bugger person for DS's sake but at this point he just doesn't deserve it. My advice, stop giving him the satisfaction if having the best if both worlds at your own expense. He simply does not deserve it.
Finally, Your DS will never favour anyone over you. You are his mother, nothing will ever trump that, trust me.
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02-08-2013 09:17 #10
Last night it hit me that his partner lied to him to fall pregnant too.
She told him she was pregnant in December, about half way through the month. She is due September 27th there is no way she was pregnant.
She found out I was told him she was so he would stop using protection and fell pregnant in January.
So now my kids are stuck with a lying home wrecking s!ut in their life forever.
They go there this weekend so the baby will be the hot topic again. I just can't keep doing this. I want to tell him he isn't welcome here for dinner but if I do that my kids miss out as meeting in a public place won't work doing it every week, plus id still have to drive them.
They go to his once a month get to his Friday night and are home Sunday before lunch so I don't want them to lose the Friday dinners too. He wanted to start coming for dinner on tuesdays too but I told him no, I'm not ready to be seeing him more.
I'm going to see my GP to ask for stronger antidepressants while there I'm going to ask for counseling. I know I need it but once I've used the 12 sessions or however many we get I can't afford to pay for it. I didn't want to start something I couldn't finish but I know I need to now because this is just to much.
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