Subbing 4 weeks till dd2 is due, need all the tips in the world
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01-08-2013 13:06 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
01-08-2013 19:44 #22
01-08-2013 20:22 #23Junior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Hi darl, don't worry honestly, you will be amazed at how it will all fall into place. I have 17 months between my two.
The best advice i can give you is to not think/worry too far in advance about 'how will i do this and that and what if this happens etc' and just focus on the here and now, getting through each day as it comes. Each day is different, some days are easy and some days are hard. Some days i feel totally on top of it all, and really enjoy it, other days i struggle. You just have to face it as it happens, you will be pleasantly surprised how well you can figure things out as you go along.
I think having two under two has made me a much better person in that i have learned to chill out a lot. I used to be very OCD and perfectionist, everything had to be done the right way and my way. I used to stress about a lot of stuff. I used to worry about things and if stuff wasn't done i'd be really wound up about it. Now i've learned to let things go. Its much better! When you have two precious little ones to run around after, you are soooooo BUSY that you don't have time to stress and fuss about what isn't being done. You can only do what you can do, you're only human.
Don't place too high expectations on yourself and that will help a lot too. Just getting through the day, caring and loving your little ones and taking care of yourself is a successful day. Don't hold yourself to the high standards that you may have had previously because you will be too busy to uphold them and thats no reason to feel bad as its impossible. You have new and wonderful challenges now.
I wanted to address some of your specific concerns with some more practical advice.
*As far as where to put bub, i too have a small living room and a rough toddler. I put my newborn into a bassinet, also into a rocker that i put up on the dining table (only if i was able to directly supervise of course). I also had a small play pen which was good. But to be honest the best place to have bub is in a sling like a babybjorn. They love being in there, and its a good way to be able to keep doing what you are doing while keeping them safe.
*As for housework, don't even worry about that! Just do the minimum if that! No one expects a mother of 2 littlies to have a pristine house.
*As for the rough toddler, don't worry as you won't be leaving them completely alone together for a while. You'll be there to make sure nothing happens and bub is safe. As your first baby grows he'll learn he has to be gentle, you'll be there to teach him what he can and can't do.
* For not getting out of the house, well you will learn to be very organised and fast and you will get out don't worry. Its a trial and error process that you will get better and better at. And who cares if you are late for things, a quick text or phone call and people do understand.
* As far as other Mothers seeming to be really on top of things- well you would be surprised if you knew what was really going on behind the scenes! The chaos and frustrations are shared by us all, some hide it better than others. Don't compare yourself to other Mums, everyone has different challenges despite how things appear on the surface.
I hope that has helped.
You will be fine, the Mothering instinct with lead you to know what to do as challenges arrive. Its great to talk to other Mums for advice and tips too. Its a roller coaster learning curve but you will love it despite the difficulties. It is hard, and some days they drive me mental, but i wouldn't have it any other way. I love my two under two! I can't imagine my life without them.
Last edited by Meesha; 01-08-2013 at 20:43.
12-08-2013 17:35 #24
Ok so I am 2 days home with my beautiful baby girl and I am not coping. DH is home with me and I keep thinking ok so I'm not coping with help - I have no chance on my own. I u fortunately was not prepared that Dd would be such a bad sleeper. I got 1 hour from 3-4 and 1 hour from 7-8. Then up to my well rested toddler.
DS was such a good sleeper - it didn't occur to me this would happen. I am expressing as breast feeding is not going well and she seems to only want small amounts over smaller periods so I am tipping a huge amount of breast milk down the drain.
I tried topping up with formula if she wanted more but she also seems to have some nasty wind pain (not sure if its the formula or not)
I just brought some infants friend as that's the only thing I can use from birth but I don't know what to do. I keep crying all the time and I am constantly nauseated. I can't eat. I can't anything..
Starting to regret my decision to have two so close in age. My poor sweet DS I don't think I have done right by him. I was an only child and dreamt of a sibling close in age all my life and it was something I wanted to give my DS so badly.
To think I one day may have wanted a third.... Never
12-08-2013 17:51 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
I think your DS will not be upset about his sibling, he will get used to it in time.
I had 3 under 2 and I really struggled, the c/section recovery was horrifying, I was unwell for over 3 months. And just the logistics and dealing with 3 very young kids. I had a 4 year old as well.
I feel like I am just starting to come good now, and I can't hardly remember anything about the first few months - it is all gone. But, honestly - I wouldn't change it for the world. Yes it was - still is a struggle. But I love my kids - and they love each other too.
You will be ok. If you start to feel as if you aren't coping, feeling down etc, don't be afraid to seek help. I have always found the first 3 months the hardest - once you get over that you'll be ok. Good luck!
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12-08-2013 18:09 #26
My two are 2 years apart and it's fine. I was dreading it - DS as a baby was so tough but DD is a very easy baby in comparison.
Yeah the toddler hurting the baby is a bit of an issue - it will happen but just try not to leave them unsupervised. It will be ok. Remember they sleep a lot at first!
ETA - I just read your post - it's still very early days. Things will get much much better soon. I felt like that the first few weeks, your newbie wants to feed all night to bring your milk in, she will settle down soon. This bit is the hardest.
Also, just remember you don't have to be perfect. All you can do is your best and that is fine.
Last edited by duckduckgoose; 12-08-2013 at 18:18.
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12-08-2013 18:15 #27
Sorry to hear this.
Just wanted to know why you are tipping your milk down the drain? It can last for days in fridge or be frozen.
Hugs. It does get better. My son was a good sleeper at night, but was unhappy during the day. Have you tried putting baby in bed with you? This was the only way my son would sleep at night as a newborn.
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12-08-2013 18:34 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
I dont have 2 under 2 but can sympathize with the "terrible twos". My daughter was the easiest baby, so cruisey, never cried- apple of my eye from the day she was born. She then hit 18 months and become a little devil child haha she turned 2 in june and we are probably at the peak of her naughtiness (I hope!!) She can have good days and then really bad ones. Hoping its just a stage and they grow out of it!
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12-08-2013 18:54 #29
I don't think you can refrigerate already heated milk can you?
12-08-2013 18:56 #30
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