Gosh though you have described all the things I forgot to list like dinner being a struggle and we often eat simple quick food like omelettes toasted sandwiches or a chicken from the supermarket as well , and my house looks like a bombs hit it with toys everywhere at the end of the day( and that's with me still trying to maintain it throughout the day ).
So the kids side of things as in actually caring for two children a year apart I didn't find as hard as i expected but the other stuff well yes I became a shambles in all other departments !
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01-08-2013 07:25 #11
01-08-2013 07:49 #12
Im on the same boat, will be havin DS in October and DD will be 18 months old. I occasionally have those moments where I wonder "how am I going to do this and that". We have a small living space too and we're actively looking for another house.
I think just take it one day at a time, newborns don't do much and they stay where you put them so I actually think it'll be harder later.
Maybe get a play pen or a travel cot so your toddler can't get to the baby.
Anyway subbing really coz Ill be right there soon enough
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01-08-2013 08:27 #13
I have 4 kids (my eldest is nearly 7 and my last 3 babies have all been 19 mths apart and to be honest, it hasn't been anywhere near as frightful as others would have had me believe (and believe me, people commented left, right and centre/still do).
For the majority of my babies' first year, my DH has been away and we've lived without support networks and they were exclusively demand fed, so believe me, it hasn't been a walk in the park, but it is definitely do-able.
I managed by baby wearing, it was quite often the only way I could still get my work done and tend to the toddler and also by having a bit of a routine (not necessarily with the kids, but my day) and trying to be as calm and flexible as I could/can be. If the day didn't pan out as I would have hoped, I knew the next day was a new day so I tried not to let anything get to me as I was very mindful of my mental health. I am a big advocate of getting out in the sunshine, so even if the kids and I sat in the back yard whilst I fed the newborn, we were getting fresh air and not feeling the cabin fever you quite often feel when you're stuck at home in the early days.
Having an activity box and books also helped when I was feeding the newborn, so the toddler had something to do and I would always have a little platter made up of healthy snacks in the fridge which helped enormously!
OP, you will find your groove, it may take a little time and things can be challenging, but it all works out.
All the best with the rest of your pregnancy.
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01-08-2013 08:28 #14
I'm currently living the 'haze' of 2 under 2, ha! DS1 was only 18mths when DS2 arrived 5mths ago. I'll list as much as I can think of here to help, as I know how freaked I was when faced with this predicament too. Sorry for long post.
Unfortunately I was forced to do this on my own, so some of these tips may not be relevant for you with a partner to help, but take what we you need
- don't freak out! Yes it's a handful, but not as bad as your head & others are telling you.
- buy a swing/bouncer chair that has bub off the ground. A lifesaver when it's not practical to be carrying bub all the time.
- if b/f, have a box of goodies for the toddler, which only gets opened at feeding times. This keeps them occupied (at least for a bit!) while you're stuck feeding for up to an hour in the early days. I brought a heap of cheap toys from reject shop, sticker books etc and rotated every few days.
- get toddler a snack before sitting down to feed.
- don't try and make your toddler be too quiet when bub is sleeping. It wont work and is much better for bub to get used to noise anyway!
- same as PP, try not to use 'no' all the time to toddler. They are too young to comprehend and may end up taking out their jealousy or frustration on bub. I find explaining to DS1 calmly that he could hurt his brother works better - most of the time! Or remove them from situation.
- in the early days, don't feel guilty for using the TV as a babysitter for short stints. It won't last forever.
- get dinner prepared during the day when toddler is sleeping. Evening is usually hardest adjustment period.
- each evening, get as much prepped for the next day as possible. E.g. If going out, have the nappy bag, pram, snacks etc everything ready to go. Getting out of the house with 2 under 2 is tough at the start.
- try and walk every day, even if only for 10mins. You will all benefit from fresh air.
- buy an infant bath seat ($15 from BigW, Target) so that both can be bathed together after first few weeks. Saves a lot of time, and they will enjoy it!
ETA - I forgot my bestest tip ever - GROCERIES HOME DELIVERED!!!!
Remember that you WILL get through it. Be prepared for some tough days, but they get less and less as bub grows. There are huge advantages to having them so close together too, it's not all negatives
Last edited by Pesca77; 01-08-2013 at 08:32.
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01-08-2013 08:47 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
HI Meld85, okay deep breathes, I understand your feelings of being a bit anxious! I have been there. I have nearly 17 months between DS1 and DS2. It was tough at the start, it all came down to logistics and being as organised as I could. I don't even remember how I managed to BF DS2 9 times a day, but I do remember a few things that helped. 1) definitely go out once a day- I went out for a walk every morning, even though it was the last thing I felt like doing. Walked to the park with both the boys in a double phil n teds. I had to go to a fenced park so DS1 (a runner and explorer!) could play with some safety. 2) I kept DS2 in a playpen for the first 6 months or so. I put his rocker in there and whilst I still couldn't really leave the room, I knew that DS2 was secure and away from hazards like leggo pieces etc. 3) I had ALOT of snacks and some treats that I thought were acceptable that I used for DS1 when I was trying to feed the baby. I would set DS1 up with a DVD and a plate full of snacks that I knew he would not decline, and it meant he could have a nice time while I attended to baby. 4) change your lifestyle for a while if you have to.... Avoid activities that may cause you additional stress. Keep it simple. When the 2 of them were very small, there were some activities I felt I couldn't manage with the 2 of them, so I just didn't do them. I tried when I could to duck out to the shops at odd hrs when DH was at home rather than have a shopping trip ending in tears all round. 5) It really doesn't matter if the kids miss a bath or 2- some nights I just couldn't manage it. 6) call on people who can help. The main thing I found helpful was if my parents took DS1 out for a while so he could have fun and I could do some things at home. 6)The main thing I remember through the haze was that DS1 became a real handful as a 1 yr old, so the baby got a bit less attention at times. But, it all passes and I found things got better after a while. I kept DS1 in daycare 2 days a week because he loved it and got to do lots of fun activities there because we didn't really have the time (or energy) to do those things at home. 7) Try and look after yourself with healthy food, iron tablets if required and the odd Barocca helped me through those days when I was tired. All the best and good luck x
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01-08-2013 08:53 #16
I firstly want to say its not going to be anywhere as bad as your imagining. DS2 was 13 months old when DD was born. My husband was at home with me for a week before he went back to 12 hours days at work and I was left alone with the three kids. I completly agree with the suggestion to wear the baby. I wore my daughter for the majority of the day for her first few months and it was a lifesaver. I was still able to pick up and cuddle my son, clean, do dishes etc.
A swing/ bouncer is a really great idea. I sat mine up on the table but you could also get a playpen and put baby either on the floor for tummy time or in the seat inside and toddler cant get to them.
Shower before the kids wake. I still do this now and my two youngest are 1 and 2.
Enjoy the time while your baby isnt mobile because once they are and you have two going in different directions in public, thats when it gets interesting lol.
Small gaps are wonderful. It is especially worth it when you see them interacting, laughing with each other and playing together. I love it so much i'm going for 3 under 2.5!
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01-08-2013 09:43 #17
Subbing I'm going to have two under 1!
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01-08-2013 09:47 #18
01-08-2013 10:00 #19
01-08-2013 12:14 #20
Hi everyone thanks for taking the time to respond. I know I shouldn't stress - it's just the last few weeks I have really started to realise how much of my day I spend trying to take care of DS and I also remember how hard a newborn was (and I had it really easy) now I'm starting to imagine my day combining these and freaking out.
I will look into baby wearing, I have a baby Bjourn but maybe will look into a sling? Also I have some play pen slides so maybe will try to use these which s a great idea.
In hoping this is a bit of a faze DS is going through and he will be a bit easier to take care of soon. I know I will have some bad days but he really doesn't listen to me ever - I mean ever!!!
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